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Joe "Stapes" Stapleton

Joe “Stapes” Stapleton

Joe “Stapes” Stapleton is the European Poker Tour announcer who describes himself as a guy that “makes a living making fun of poker players.”  He has an extended history in the poker industry having worked on various television and radio shows, including Pokerstars’ Big Game and WCOOP radio broadcasts.  Previously, Stapleton was a writer for “MADtv” and “The Two Coreys” among other programs.  His dossier also includes hosting highly popular comedy podcasts on the website, HuffandStapes.

Well, that’s just the recap of his impressive resume.   To find out why Stapes is so insanely popular with European poker fans, get a full dose of his riotous humor from this summary of an AMA he had with us last Wednesday.

What’s the right joke to salvage a failing stand-up act?  How to parry an industry veteran when he teases you about your wages?  Who is the funniest poker pro?  Find out the answers to these questions and a whole lot more by reading below,  but do yourself a favor and put your beverage to the side or it will end up going the wrong way – guaranteed.

Stapes

Axe me Anything with Joseph “Stapes” Stapleton!

Jesus. What’s the point of having the nickname is someone’s gonna write the whole thing out anyway.

Irregardless (yes, I know that’s not a word, though, spellcheck hasn’t sensed it, which worries me), I’m gonna get started a little early to make sure I get to everyone’s questions.

Especially YOURS…..!

Ricpoker

Hi Joseph….great to have you here…

Do you prefer to play the game or comment the game?

You are so funny …can you report which was (for you) the most hilarious moment you saw within a poker game?

I got to ask…favorite comedy movies????!!!

You rock man

 

Stapes

Thank you. Thank you. It’s great to be here. I clicked all the way over from porn and BOY are my fingers tired. And forearm.

Well, I prefer to PLAY the game because it’s means I’m PLAYING A GAME and not working. I would also prefer to play pretty much any other card game. Except for Magic. That’s for nerds. JUST KIDDING. I played Magic in high school. I wasn’t even cool enough for those kids. Honestly.

When it comes to WORK, I’d much rather be doing commentary for a living than playing poker for a living. Hard.

Most hilarious moment in a poker game. I dunno man. I’ve seen a lot. I saw Phil Hellmuth throw a chair, Mike Matusow almost get punched, Ernest Wiggins “run it four times.” I can’t really say. I have seen so much poker, it doesn’t really stay with me the same way it would for a “fan.” I usually just go back to the same answers over and over again and say the Ernest Wiggins hand. Truly remarkable.

Some of my favorite comedies off the top of my head:

Wet Hot American Summer

Super Troopers

Caddyshack

Windy City Heat – hidden little gem

Office Space

Swingers

Made

Wanderlust

Team America

The Station Agent

Get Shorty

Probably a dozen more, but that’s good for now.

Oh! And thanks for saying I rock. I also paper and scissors.

dlbarlowe

Thanks for doing this!

Where did you cut your comedic chops?

Were you the funny kid or class clown in school?

Who is the most amusing poker player you’ve ever met, professional or amateur? What made that person so entertaining?

Stapes

You’re welcome! I’m all alone in the world! I have no commitments!

I didn’t try to be the “funny” kid until I was about 15 I’d say, and I wasn’t even remotely successful at it until I was probably 17. At least that’s when it stopped all just living inside my head. Until then I was just the quiet loser who cried a lot. Something happened at some point. It was kinda like I gave myself the speech from Independence Day, and I just decided I was not gonna take it any more. It didn’t happen right away, but I grew a pair after that.

“WELCOME TO EARF.”

Assuming I have “comedic chops” (which I’m not really comfortable with), I’ve had tons of influences over the years. My Dad is “funny.” I grew up spending every weekend sleeping over at my Grandmother’s house because there was a TV in the bedroom and I could watch Saturday Night Live. I am heavily influenced by guys like Chris Farley, Norm MacDonald, David Spade from those years. Tons more influences now, but that’s what really sparked my interest in comedy.

Then, later in life I was lucky enough to work at a place called MADtv, where I met TONS of super talented cast members and writers. Key & Peele, to name two of them.

Honestly, I’d say most of it had to come from having really smart and funny friends who keep me on my toes at all times. I always feel like I could be relegated to being that quiet loser at any point, so if I want to keep hanging out with the cool kids, I need to keep them on THEIR toes, and keep making them laugh.

I’ve met tons of amateurs that were amusing that I could never express unless you had played with the guys. A kid who, fours hours into a poker game, would pick up a chip and say “….what’s this worth….?” I’ve played with super interesting people at Hollywood Park in Los Angeles. As far as pros go, watching Phil Laak is easily the most entertained I am EVER during poker, and I’d have to say it ranks pretty high up there in all aspects of entertainment. The guy is hilarious, and even though it might seem unintentional, I’m convinced he 100% knows what he’s doing.

AcesarehighAreyou

How often do you play in tournaments and/or cash games? Do you play live and online? Do you have a preference for either?

Stapes

I play live poker maybe once every three months. Online once or twice a month. Poker is purely a recreational thing for me, and it’s not even very high on my list of things I like to do. That plus the fact that I can’t stand to lose makes me not find the time very often. Here’s a list of things I’d rather do than play poker:

#1 go to the movies

#2 play video games

#3 try to get laid

go buy something stupid with the buy-in I’m gonna lose (see #1-#3)

Between those three and work, it doesn’t leave me much time for poker.

BUT. The good thing is that when I play, it’s because I want to, and because I really am enjoying it, and I wait until it’s a spot where I don’t care about the money. Promotional tournament, cash game with friends, etc. I guess I prefer cash games because I’m a little better at them, but the allure of playing tournaments on a Sunday is not lost on me at all.

arcturus

Hey, Joe.

I can’t believe a prostitute in Monte Carlo charged you once $200 for an eye contact. How did you get over it, with a $500 bottle of whisky?

Stapes

How did I get over it? I CELEBRATED it. It was easily the most interaction I had had with a female in months.

I even told my Mom about her. My Mom told her priest.

Hippy80

Joe,

I’ll do my best to not to repeat my usual EPT Live trolling, but some may slip in.

As a much smaller fish in the shark pool of poker media, I’d love to hear how you go started in the business, and what you’d recommend to people who might be interested in it as a career.

Have you ever been tweeted something while live streaming that has made you go into uncontrollable laughter? Could you/did you read it out on air?

How much material do you pre-prepare for each EPT? Do you come up with much of the material on the spot?

With the poker analysis, I know you’ve had coaching on providing this, how did this come about, and is it still going on?

With the 100th EPT on the near horizon, do you think we’ll see the first double EPT winner before the 100th EPT? How unhappy will Neil Johnson be if we do?

Stapes

If you’re interested in this as a career, do everything. Write everything. Go to everything. Participate in everything. Listen to everything. DO EVERYTHING. Rob – it seems like you’re doing a good job at this. I’m sure it’s harder now than when I did it, but all I did was try to entertain myself. At first I just got lucky and Huff hooked me up with a Cardplayer internship in 2005 at the WSOP. That was my foot in the door.

From there, I just tried to make myself present. I did a lot of stuff for free (or nearly free), just so people could get to know me and learn who I was. Eventually someone was dumb enough to start paying me for it. I have to give so much thanks and respect to Joe Sebok and Barry Greenstein for noticing this early on and hiring me on the do Poker Road. The site ultimately failed, but launched more than a few poker journalism careers.

I’ve never been tweeted anything that made me go into uncontrollable laughter, no. It’s pretty hard to get me that hard in 140 characters, especially in poker. However, I have read things that filled me with uncontrollable rage/sadness, and those are tough to get over.

I don’t prepare much for the live streams. I just kinda let the comedy (if there is any) come out organically. It’s a much different beast than the TV shows (which I write/prepare down to the frame). You can do longer conversations, bits and find the fun stuff. On TV the fun stuff has to be planned.

I started getting coaching because when I was auditioning for the Big Game, Daniel Negreanu and Barry Greenstein were two of my biggest advocates with Poker Stars, but they agreed my analysis was terrible. Honestly, I didn’t even know what analysis WAS. So they made the simple solution of hiring Jimmy Fricke (Gobboboy) to go over all the hands with me and make sure I didn’t say anything stupid. He’s been working with me every since. At first we used to watch the shows together, over Skype, but now I know enough that I just read some notes from him via email.

I will say I’ve come a million miles from where I first started. I can get by without Jimmy at this point, fumbling my way through the analysis, but I prefer not to, because he makes it SO MUCH BETTER. He also adds to the comedy quite a bit from the little jokes he writes to me in his notes. It wouldn’t be nearly as good without him.

It’s like the difference between just a **** job or a **** job with a little hand action at the same time. Both are good. One is a lot better.

I don’t think we’ll see a two-time winner before the 100th EPT, no. I hope there’s never a two-time winner. I think Neil would take it just fine though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the guy angry. Which means he’s probably got like 39483049 bodies in his basement.

Addie Nance

Do you consider golf and/or bowling sports? What about NASCAR? Poker?

Stapes

I think all of those qualify as sports, yeah. They require that the player PERSONALLY perform some sort of physical task. But that’s like saying “Do you consider McNuggets and/or McRibs food?” Yeah. They’re food. Their not the same as duck l’orange, but yeah, they’re food.

I do NOT consider poker to be a sport, however. The physical part isn’t necessary. Unless you count staying awake, or sitting, in which case watching movies could also be a sport. Poker’s a game. Doesn’t mean there isn’t skill to it. Doesn’t mean it isn’t worth watching or getting exciting about. It’s just not a sport.

tommyd

Hi Joe,

Before WSOP in 2005, what was it like working for Mad TV?

It sounds like a big risk starting from the bottom working the floor of the WSOP, what prompted you to make the jump?

What is your craziest story from your career?

Thanks!

Stapes

Working for MADtv was an amazing, but frustrating, experience. I worked there from age 20-27, so for my entire adult life, and they were like a family to me. And like a family, my Dad did occasionally want to let me know his cock was bigger than mine, and who was in charge. I was largely ignored for ever advancing beyond my role in production. I will say that I was mostly quiet about it, because my work ethic doesn’t let me have that sort of ambition.

I believed in doing the job I was hired for, and asking when it was appropriate. This made me easy to ignore. However, the experiences I had there and the people that I met – I will never forget. Being in my 20’s and living in Los Angeles working in entertainment is an experience I would not trade for anything, and I really hope I can actually go back to one day.

I’m sorry guys. I’m shit in the “tell me a story” department when I’m typing and when I know there’s a million other questions to answer. Honestly, if you wanna hear crazy stories – go back and find my podcast(s) – Two Jacks in the Hole and Huff & Stapes (on Ustream & iTunes) and I’ve told pretty much any story I WOULD ever tell on there.

For the stuff that’s happened since then. Buy me a beer sometime and find out.

JetPropulsion 

Joe,

What is your favorite poker phrase you ever coined? On the other hand, did you ever have to “eat your hat” over anything you said?

Stapes

Hello, Jet. If that is, in fact, your real name.

Again, I’m not comfortable with some of the wording here.

“Well, I’ve coined SO MANY phrases – how do I choose,” he said while his ego inflated to the size of his (rather large) penis.

But if I HAD to…..–devilish grin– I guess I like “Kwing” and “Congratudolences.” Either those or “All it takes is a chip and a chair.” I get a lot of mileage out of the fact that I DEFINITELY invented that one.

ChrisP

Do you prefer American or British beer? What’s your favorite brand?

Stapes

Some of you are going to kill me over this, but I just don’t care. I like beer enough. I’m fine with beer. Some of my best friends are beer. But I just don’t get all precious about it. I don’t even know the difference between ales and lagers and stouts. Yes, I know which beers are American and which ones are British, but to me, beers are like women. They’re mostly good. And even when they’re not, I’m rarely going to turn one down, you know?

Nacho

Do you have any advice re training a puppy and stopping him from nipping?

Stapes

Take away his XBOX? I don’t know. I’ve never had a pet. Unless you count unemployed teenage girlfriends.

Alex

If you could change anything at a global level, what would it be and why?

Stapes

I think you made this question a little more open ended than you intended. Globally, I would probably try to eliminate everyone’s sense of greed and entitlement. I’m all for people working hard and getting stuff (as long as it’s not from the exploitation or bullying of others), but people feel as if they’re owed so much by the world. It’s crazy.

Patrick M. 

Who is the player you like to discuss most often? Who would you rather not give any air time to? Has any high stakes player ever been upset by something you’ve said? If so, how did you handle it?

Stapes

It’s easy to discuss Daniel because he’s a friend, and I know he would never get mad at me for anything I said on the air. Even if I made fun of him or disagreed with him. There are a handful of players I’d rather not give any air time to. No, I will not name them.

Sure, folks have gotten upset. Never about jokes, oddly enough. Internally, it’s hard to handle, because it shakes your confidence. It makes me wonder if I’m doing it wrong. I’ve handled it by focusing on the overwhelming majority of people who seem to like what I do. Externally, I’ve never handled it because these people have never sought me out specifically. They’ve tweeted thinly veiled stuff, or stuff I’m not tagged in, and posted on forums, but none of them have ever approached me. If they did, I’d be happy to talk about whatever it is.

HeyYou

Have you ever gotten tongue tied during a broadcast? Can you think of a comment you regret making?

Stapes

If you listen, you’ll hear me get tongue tied all the time. Never to the point where I can’t go on, but I trip over my words constantly – like a Mom trips over the wires to an NES Advantage.

It’s a little harder when we’re doing the links for the EPT TV shows. Generally the room is full of dealers and tournament staff, who all have to be quiet while we record the link. It’s very awkward. When we’re done, they usually give us a sarcastic round of applause.

In London, we did it four or five times, for technical reasons, and on the sixth take, I fucked it up. I did it again on the seventh take, and I went into a cold sweat. Absolute panic mode. I wanted to walk off the stage. I got through the next time without screwing it up, but my boss said “Um, are you ok?” Everyone laughed and that made me feel better. I got it on the next one, luckily, because if not, I probably would have peed.

Alep

Joe,

How far would you like to go in poker industry, what’s your dream destination? Would it make any difference to you if online poker was legalized in the States?

Stapes

I don’t think I want to, or can go much further in the poker industry. Sure, when Lon and Norm retire or start hosting Monday Night Football, sure I’d love to be on ESPN, but honestly, that’s just because it’s what gets the most recognition. I just want an audience. Preferably not in poker, if I could be so bold. I’ll probably never get there, but I’d sure love to try something else some day.

So the real answer is that I don’t care to go much further in poker, if someone’s going to ask me to host Survivor, that is. Also, I’m pretty sure my act is going to get stale one day….eventually….soon…..now.

Aidan

How do you exercise your “funny muscles”? Or does it come naturally? Who is your inspiration in comedy?

Stapes

Aidan – please see some of the questions above. Sorry, dude.

As far as exercise goes, I’m actually having trouble with that since moving to London. I left all my people behind in LA who used to keep me sharp, but mostly it comes from hanging out with people who are smarter and funnier than me. I also used to do a podcast (also mentioned above) that kept me really sharp. I miss both things terribly.

YoYo

Joe,

In your opinion, which poker pro would be fit to run for public office, if there is such a person?

Stapes

I don’t really have an opinion on this, because there aren’t many that I know on a deeply personal level. And the ones I do are batshit fucking insane.

A lot of poker’s sophomore class seem like they’re pretty together. Dan O’Brien, for example, seems like he’s got a pretty level head for politics. Honestly, though, I think poker attracts the kind of person we don’t necessarily want to have in charge. I’m not saying they’re bad people, but poker is a game and a lifestyle that rewards selfishness. Not dishonesty, but selfishness. It’s every man (or woman) for himself (or herself, dammit).

It’s not a team game. Wouldn’t we rather have people who are used to playing on a team?

Fiorella

When you wear socks with shorts, do you pull them up or leave them scrunched around your ankles?

Stapes

Oh. Hi. Hello there.

What’s a place like you doing in a girl like this?

OMG – I can’t believe I just did that. –WHOOPS–

Anyway, no, but really. Your place? Already? But I haven’t even answered your question yet. I fold them down. Let’s go.

Lars

How did you become a commentator? Have you ever done any stand up comedy?

Stapes

I have told this one a few times, so this time, enjoy this budget info graphic:

Production Assistant -> Blogger – > Video producer -> Podcast Host -> Multiple Podcast and Web Show Host – > TV Show Host

I got really lucky in that the the right people were fans of mine. Barry Greenstein, Joe Sebok, Daniel Negreanu.

I started doing stand-up about a year and a half ago. I’ve done it a shamefully few number of times, and only once in the last 8 months. I’m not very good at it, obviously. I don’t really like it, or want to be a stand-up, but at the moment I don’t write and I don’t do stand-up, which is kind of like an athlete who wants to be in the Olympics but does run or work out.

There is footage of that one performance I did in the last eight months here:

WTF

Have you competed in any WSOP events? Which ones? How’d you do?

Stapes

I’ve played a $1500 and a $1k. I made the dinner break exactly 0 times. Granted, this was a while ago when I had so much worse of a grasp for poker, but honestly, I think these days I’d just go broke faster.

Luks_AA

Do you think Atlantis really existed at one point? Where was it?

Stapes

I wish the current one didn’t exist. $25 and a thirty minute wait for a cheeseburger that makes McDonald’s look like Mastro’s.

LuckyAcer

Do you have any superstitions? What’s your favorite number?

Stapes

I’m superstitious about karma and being a good person. I don’t believe in karma, exactly, but I think goodness begets goodness, so I always try to do the right thing. I make mistakes like everyone, but it’s something I really try to live my life by. I’m also superstitious about Canadians. I don’t trust them. Wait. I guess more racism, huh?

My lucky number is 9. I wore it for many years in baseball playing the position of “left out.”

Norman Chad

Sir:

It kind of sickens me that I am often called “a poor man’s Joe Stapleton.”

I have to have more money in the bank than you, don’t I?

Norman Chad

Stapes

Wow. I will try not to make this a gushing fan letter.

First of all, everyone, despite what he might make it seem like publicly, Norman Chad has been ridiculously supportive of my career. The few times above when I mentioned that the right people were fans of mine, Norm is included in that list. I probably would not be here today if it weren’t for the kind things he’s said about me. Granted all of those kind words completely disappeared once I actually GOT on television.

Funny story: after not speaking for about a year, Norm sent me an email blaming me for Black Friday. Hilarious, and accurate.

Now to address Norm’s post:

Now I don’t know how much money you’ve got in the bank, and I know that pie’s being split many ways, but God I hope you’ve got more than I do. My bank called me on suspicion of fraud at the end of last month because I hadn’t overdrafted yet.

To be honest – people saying that stuff sickens me too. I generally don’t engage people on Twitter, and I’m happy for the compliments, but I honestly don’t see why people need to–wait a second. I think it was me who was called “the poor man’s Norman Chad” on more than one occasion. Is this a level? Do you know what level means?

In all seriousness, I gave an interview last month, and this question was cut from the article, but I’m going to recreate it here, because it needs to be said:

“If you could play poker and have anyone do commentary on you, who would it be?”

Hands down, I would pick Norman Chad.

When James Gandolfini died, Bryan Cranston tweeted:

“I’m saddened by James Gandolfini’s passing. He was a great talent & I owe him. Quite simply, without Tony Soprano there is no Walter White.”

Norm’s still alive (and has the 75-year ESPN contract to prove it), but I feel the same way about him. Without Norman Chad, there is no Joe Stapleton.

agnesamurphy

I don’t think anyone has asked this yet, so, where are your favorite places to play poker (online/live/Las Vegas/elsewhere)?

Stapes

$.50/$1 No Limit in my various old apartments in Los Angeles. The kinds of games where everyone plays every hand and you’re all trying to suck out on each other. It’s not about the money, it’s just about hanging out with your friends. That’s my favorite.

After that, $400/$800 $50k Cap in Bobby’s room at Bellagio.

huh

Are you a poker player turned journalist, or the other way around? How did you end up working EPT?

Stapes

I am a never-was comedy writer, turned journalist, turned poker commentator. Poker player was never really part of the equation. The poker industry accidentally ended up feeding the stray dog that is Joe Stapleton and he just never stopped coming back. Whoah. Third person. Big time.

I ended up working on the EPT after Black Friday. I was living high on the hog and enjoying my newfound “career” on television when Black Friday happened. I thought it was all over faster than it had started – and it was for a lot of people – but I was lucky that Stars wanted to keep me and had an opening on the EPT. So if I had to answer your second question in one word, it would be “hunger.’

RCB

What’s it like living in Britain coming from the United States? If you say “schedule” instead of “shedule”, do people give you weird looks?

Stapes

I really like Britain. They get a lot of things right. It’s pretty impressive considering they’re one of the oldest countries on the planet, and they’ve got things pretty sweet over here. British people are funny, and pretty liberal for the most part. And their women drink. A lot.

I don’t get weird looks, necessarily, but people notice that I’m American, yeah. The only word that gets me into trouble is soccer. It’s bizarre living in a country where the word soccer is more offensive than the c-bomb. “It’s called football, ye fuckin’ cunt!”

It’s cool being American here though. It’s a bit of a novelty. Not as much as a Brit in America, but I get away with MURDER because I’m American. Not literally, of course. But excuse me for a second, while I toss this rolled up carpet into the Thames.

Leonie Weber

What do you think of the feud between Dick Cheney’s daughters re gay marriage? Do you think Liz Cheney has a chance of winning the election she’s running in? Do you think the US should boycott the upcoming Olympics in Russia due to that country’s stance on and laws against homosexuality?

Stapes

I am really looking forward to the first porn-parody of this situation.

Liz Cheney or Lez Cheney? Are they the same? I don’t know which one the straight one is. Also, who is Dick Cheney?

Yeah, sure, why not. I was willing to boycott them based Yakhov Smirnoff alone, but yeah, ok this is bad too.

Lenia Rapp 

Would you ever consider doing a reality television show? What type of show would it be?

Stapes

Sure. Why not. I’d probably do any/all reality shows (schedule permitting) because I think anyone who knows me knows I would be doing it purely as a level. I wouldn’t last very long on any show that dealt with any sort of physical endurance, hardship, hunger, heat, females, sobriety, or thinking, but I’d happily go down in a blaze of glory to get a good chuckle out of everyone.

RobertWe

What do you do for fun? What place would you like to visit that you haven’t yet? If you could time travel, what period would you visit? Who is the person you’ve met while playing or covering poker that you found most interesting?

Stapes

In this order:

Movies, drinking, tail chasing, masturbation, eating, joke-writing. (That’s just a typical Saturday for me)

I think I would just get a better head start on the 90’s. Things were pretty sweet then.

Sam Simon. Comedy writer. Boxer. Billionaire. Activist. Astronaut. Ok. That last one was just to see if you were paying attention. You passed. But barely.

 HoofAndShapes

First of all, I need to thank you for the countless hours of entertainment you have given me in podcast form, was just listening to the Asterios pitch fest episode yesterday. MAN I MISS TWO JACKS/HUFF & STAPES :'(.

1. When if ever will you and Scott work together again? How often do people ask about the show? How often do you think about the show? Have you ever considered doing a reunion show? I still cry myself to sleep every night to Two Jacks reruns and can’t fall asleep until I hear Da Funk (I’m missing some shows by the way, if you know where I can find them or direct me to someone who does, I will send you £100 on PAYPAL or to a charity of your choice, Pokerroad doesn’t exist anymore so I cant access old shows, i’m serious on this one!)

2. As a Londoner, I’m curious how different you find life in London from the USA, what was the weirdest/strangest difference you noticed living here as opposed to back home home?? Whereabouts do you live borough/area wise? How different is the pace of life here from home. Which do you prefer, how long do you see yourself staying here for?

Best Wishes

Stapes

Awesome. Thank you, and you’re very welcome. I look back on H&S/TJITH as the best thing I’ve ever done. It makes my heart hurt.

1) Scott and I try to work together all the time. We really do. But our relationship is a lot more like a romantic one than you could possibly imagine. One that ended under similar circumstances. He moved away, and then so did I. So, metaphorically: We both really love each other and we both think that relationship was the best we’ve ever had, but it’s unrealistic to try to keep it alive at such a great distance when our lives are so disparate. We both secretly hope that fate puts us back in each others’ arms again someday, but until then, it’s just about staying in touch enough so that we’re both open to it when it does happen. This might sound funny, but this is honestly what it’s like.

I miss the show more than I miss any woman I’ve ever been with, and I think about it a lot. I cannot listen to the shows. It’s too painful. One day Scott or I will get a wild hare up one of our asses, and cull all the shows and put them all in one place, but I don’t see it happening any time soon. We talk about working together again on a weekly basis. But it’s just hard with us both doing well (being extremely busy) in other places.

Thank you so much though. It means a lot that people miss it that much. I do too.

2) I live in East London. Which is funny because LA and NY have a neighborhood for hipster douchebags. NY has Williamsburg, LA has Silver Lake. Well London has EAST. That’s technically one HALF of the city. So, while I like the nightlife and the food trucks, things become a bit daunting when I want to buy some shoes that don’t have anything metal on them or a shirt that doesn’t have a pirate ship embroidered on it.

I do prefer living in the States, yes, but I think that’s just because it’s home. I’ll be here until:

a) someone in America offers me a job on television

b) I decide to move on from poker and become a starving artist again

c) Stars goes back to America

d) Stars gets sick of me and doesn’t renew my work Visa

I put those in the order of least to most likely.

givememyleg 

– Who are/were your influences as far as commentating & giving interviews, inside or outside of poker?

– What is the most memorable interview you’ve given?

– You’re given $100 Billion. After you take all your vacations, buy all the fun toys, etc. What do you spend your time doing?

Stapes

-Norman Chad, Norm MacDonald (before he was in poker), David Spade, Dennis Miller, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, Mystery Science Theater 3000

-Given or gotten? I gave an interview to PokerNews where I was covered in brown spray tan and talk about being uncircumcised. That probably works.

-Try to make the world a better place. 10000000% It’s the only reason I want to be successful, really. I want to try to do some good.

Cruelsebastian

Hi Joe   great to have you here

– I know this is cruel but I have to ask…do you know any bad jokes about poker? Can you tell one? 😛

– Do you often play poker on the move (mobile) ?

– Do you travel a lot ? Have you ever visited Portugal? If not…you MUST come

Cheers

Stapes

Did you hear the one about the Greek poker player? He made a “Gyro” call.

I only play while I’m waiting in line at customs to come back to the UK. It’s the only time I ever think about it.

I travel constantly. Mostly for work, but a little bit for pleasure (that’s such a gross word ‘pleasure’ ew) recently. I would love to go to Portugal. That’s the one that inside Spain, right?

Esterno19

Hi Joe….you’re the man

– Please share with us the worst bad beat you ever joked about

– Can you stay away from Poker and all its universe? …or is it impossible for you to disconnect?

I have a silly idea about a poker tournament being held at a McDonalds …fast food together with a variant of fast-paced poker…do you think it could work?

Stapes

Uhm. I can’t remember any specific hands, but I once made up a fake poker charity tournament called “Put a Beat on Domestic Violence.” Don’t think I’d be too quick to shout that one out again.

I have no issue staying away from poker. I don’t consume it or watch it or read about it when I’m not working. Yes, sometimes my friends are tweeting about things that I end up reading about, but I never go seeking it.

molinex 

What are your plans for the holidays?

Stapes

Still waiting on the directions to YOUR MOM’S HOUSE.

KIDDING!

But seriously though, I heard your Mom’s alright.

Tinita

Are you single?

Stapes

“Painfully.” he said to the girl who can’t possibly be real.

givememyleg

– Who is your favorite poker commentator team? Off the top of my head there is Kaplan/Benza , Sexton/Van Patten, Chad/McEachern. I’m probably forgetting some?

Stapes

I’d have to say Chapton/Van McBenza.

Hippy80

Joe,

Thanks for the great answers to my questions.

Are you going to the PokerStars VIP party on Saturday? If so, I’ll get a round in at the free bar. Just don’t say I never do anything for you 😛

Stapes

I’m out of town, working a gig in Mohegan Sun for the Deepstacks Poker Tour. Holler at Hartigan though. A lot.

Vas Deferens

Stapes, why was there no WCOOP radio this year, i was looking forward to similar madness from you and Nick but nooo dice,…wassa happs there?? Incidentally, i really admire your level of hand analysis and have stated this on many occasions as we watch your shows. We only started showing Poker After Dark on mainstream TV this year here in Noo Zealand, we don’t miss much do we.

Thanks for pointing out your other PodCasts on I Tunes, i am d/loading some as we type.

Stapes

Hahaha, awesome name dude!

Stars just decided they wanted to put their money into live streaming the EPTs this year. In my estimation, it does more to draw new viewers than something like SCOOP/WCOOP shows would. It speaks to a larger audience, but yes, those shows were WICKED fun. Thanks for watching/listening/spanking.

Fiorella

Hello there, yourself! Thanks for answering my question, Stapes. Your wit matches your good looks.

Stapes

After extensive research (turning my laptop clockwise 90 degrees), I’ve determined your complimenting ability matches YOUR good looks.

Which way is the private chat room?

Vas Deferens

I just looked at the Stand Up gig with Liv Boeree at the Pub, i thought the camera gag was great, laughed like hell,keep it up cos i think you got the goods for it Stapes.

Stapes

Thanks, dude! I honestly think I was up against it in that club. 1) It was a musicians open mic night 2) They were expecting more with a camera crew there 3) All my material was about US/Britain and it turned out we were in a Euro-hostel 3) My first joke was about fat Americans and two fat Americans were sitting in the front row (as was their fat 9 year-old daughter)

I’m not saying I’m good, by any means, but I think I had a really tough crowd that night!

Thanks for the kind words.

Galapogos

How disappointed were you in Norm MacDonald’s commentating on High Stakes Poker?

Stapes

I actually didn’t mind it at all. N.B. – I only watched one episode. I don’t watch poker on TV. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

HoofAndShapes

Thanks for the answer. Just wanted to let you know i’ve been a fan of yours since Pokerwire! 6 years baby, started from the bottom now we here!!! Your comedic podcast chestnuts entertain me to this day.

And if you’re talking hipsters.. I bet you live in Hackney

Stapes

Shoreditch, brah.

Thanks so much for reaching out. Please, if our paths ever cross in London, do not hesitate to introduce yourself. It’d be an honor.

Alex

Thanks for being here

Stapes

Do you mean that in an existential sense? Thank my parents.

You’re very welcome.

Stapes

Alright. Boom. Done. Got everyone. Thanks for having me, you sons of bitches. Now where do I collect my check?

givememyleg

Very great AMA, appreciate you taking the time to stay and answer all of the questions. Mush respect! Thanks, Joe!

Now get the hell out of here…