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How does a fish think?
I was in Ventrillo last night with soupie, shane, phlegm, okie, and a bunch of other tournament and ring game GODS, and 6 of us (Obertray, Corey, Phlegm [who won], DavSimon [who took 2nd], Me [3rd], and Scgolfer [took 8th hehe]) got into a $20 sng to have some fun.
Basically, one fish who wasnt a FTR member was at 560 with the blinds 100/200 and 4 left, he was on the button and he raised to 400. On Ventrillo we questioned his play, somebody asked why he wouldnt just raise all in, instead of leaving himself 167 chips left. Somebody else replied that he is maybe just looking for a call, and I said "no, he's a fish, if he was looking for a call he would have min-raised, believe me, I used to be a fish, and compared to you guys I still am". Soupie then piped up with "Syked, you need to write a post on how a fish thinks right now, while its fresh in your head." And thus began this post.
Let's start from the beginning. I am far from a great player, even saying I'm "good" is stretching it a little. My bankroll has been as high as $450 and as low as $50 (where I started) and I have reasonable experience in $5.50, $11, and a little experience in $22 sng's on stars. I also have a fair amount of experience with small buyin MTT's and Satellite Tourneys. That being said, I think my skills of online hold'em have increased exponentially with the help of the Ventrillo and IRC guys, Soupie and JeffreyGB especially.
But now I'm gonna talk about what I was not too long ago... A fish. One FTR guy once quoted, "Stupid fish, calls down with 2 4 off. Die! Die!" ... What I'm about to tell you is the REASON that he called down. He called down because the flop was AQ3 and he was ONLY ONE CARD [omg] away from a straight!!! omgomgwtf! Now it may seem that I'm exaggerating this a bit but im not, fishies dont know what pot odds are. They dont know the odds of hitting that 3outer on the turn and river is ~%14. They dont know that by calling off 25% of their stack on this 3outer draw they will most certainly lose. They DO know that [omg] THEY ARE JUST ONE CARD AWAY FROM A STRAIGHT! OMG! [/omg]. Thats it. It's stupid. It makes us money. But the one time they catch it, the ONE time they suck out on your QQ with a wheel straight. That's the one time you remember, and its the one time that will make you tilt.
Most fish (and I use the term 'fish' loosely... It means any weekend warriors, and anybody not compitent of the rules/odds of holdem) got their online 'career' started by watching the many many re-runs of the WSOP, both 2003 and 2004. We are all familiar of the Chris Moneymaker story [side note: one of the greatest poker names EVER!] and the Greg 'Fossilman' Raymer story, how they qualified from Pokerstars, and Chris only had to pay $40, yadda yadda yadda. People hear this and they think [omg] "OMG I want to turn my $40 into $6,244,382,484,435,489.65 just like Moneymaker and Raymer did!!!!!!11one [/omg]. So they go to www.pokerstars.com, look around the site, take their $50 (hey dont knock it, alot of us started there) and deposit it into stars, hoping to win millions. Usually they bust out, but sometimes, just sometimes, they win. Alot. Quickly. Get up to $500 so quick it would make anybody jealous. These players are the bulk of our fish at $5-$50 sngs. the guys still with $50 play the 5's, while the guys who have made it up to 500 play the 50's, and everyone else is somewhere in between. Most people watch the WSOP, they see some of the best LAggy players in the world go at it, bluffing each other left and right, repping the ace, repping the flush, slowplaying the nuts perfectly, etc etc, and they think they can do this online. When they see somebody betting, they automatically assume it's a bluff, and when they see somebody checking, they assume its a strong hand slowplaying. Naturally, sometimes they will be right, but most of the time they're very very wrong. THAT, along with the [omg] GUTSHOT STRAIGHT DRAWS! [/omg] is what causes alot of fish to make those calls that make you stay up all night wondering wtf they were doing.
I'm sorry for all the rambling, but I'm just trying to get my point across. Fish dont understand pot odds, they will risk all their chips on a flush draw, sometimes even on a gutshot straight draw, simply because they are [omg] OMGWTF ONE CARD AWAY! [/omg] from a winning hand. It's dumb, It's stupid, and it almost never works, but when it does, dont let it get to you. Just remember that in the long run, you win. GG TYFP! You win! ... I hope this was insightful to the good players out there, and next time you think out loud to yourself "why the f*ck did that guy call with that?" as you scoop up his money, take comfort in the fact that he's a fish, and will continue to pay you off like that. Just add him to the buddy list, and make sure your 1st in line for his $$$.
Thankyou for reading through the ramble if anyone actually did. I'll add more as i think about it, and I dunno if this is sticky-worthy so I'll leave it up to the moderators.
-Chris
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