I think i realized today that i suck at poker. I think i know whats going on but in reality lol who knows. I mean so ok i turned 5 dollars into 85 dollars playing 1-2c with the exception of 1 time i sat with 15 dollars at a 25nl table and worked it up to 40 and left. I don't have the patience for the game. i don't and its hard to admit my faults because i know i'm probably gonna get eaten alive by every member of this forum lol.

I just loose my patience playing fucking penny poker, nickle poker, dime poker. But id loose it anyway if i loose a few buy ins its like the end of the world. I try to get over it but i can't. Most the time i just log off but today i just cashed out. I have played poker for like 5 years, im probably just about even overall, maybe down a little bit. I read strategy after strategy, use this that and the other but i honestly think im just one of those players who cant handle the swings. I mean one bad hand and i could just go through the roof, even though i know its just the name of the game. I dont handle losing well.

I dont know what the point to this blog was, All i know is i cant waste my time playing micro stakes, and at the same time i cant get so damn mental over losing 3 buy ins to knuckleheads or bad beats or just bad choices.

I don't know what i'm going to do, i geuss relax and maybe freeroll for a while or something. I used to have a dream making a living or part time living playing online poker, but after 5 years i think i have to accept the facts. I should just play for shits and giggles and treat it as a hobby, give up on the whole making a living or part time living from it. i just cant help but think my time could be better spent elsewhere. i mean i probably put in like 70 hours for that 75 bucks, trying to get to the next level. i just feel my time is more valuable than that. i like poker, but the fun is gone. I dont wanna quit or anything stupid like that. i'm just evaluating everything out loud i geuss.

I know i'm not good enough to go pro, even semi pro. I could probably read all the books in the world but it wouldnt matter because im one of those naturally unlucky people. I dont whatever this blog is long and i'm going to bed now.