~1,000 hands, -$60.35
Cleared Bonus, +$10.00

Ewwwwwwww.

Over the last 25,000 hands I haven't experienced many downswings. In fact, I think I've only had 1 or 2 sessions where I lost 2+ buy-ins. Though I was aware of how fortunate I've been to enjoy such positive consistency, perhaps there was a small part of me (my ego) that was not cognizant of that fact. Perhaps on some level I thought I might be a young Coco_Bill in the making, and that I was just going to cruise to 600NL without many bumps in the road.

How naive of me.

I started off the session by getting stacked with a set when an obvious scare card hit the river and I couldn't get away from it. Perhaps I could find a fold in there somewhere, but I'm not too disappointed with the way I played it. An hour later, I got stacked again with what I thought was the nut flush, only to see the pot get scooped the other direction. You mean they have straight-flushes in this game, WTF?! Toward the end, I may have tilted a bit, and made a few loose calls that cost me half a buy in or so. Fortunately, I was wise enough to recognize my poor state of mind and called it a night.

So you might be thinking "It's only 3 buy-ins. So what?" Well, what can I say? I've been spoiled. I don't know the meaning of variance, swings, short term, long term. Newbie Circle of Death? God, I hope not. I know I'm not a poker genius. I may not have experienced first hand the tumultuous waves of standard variations, but I am very aware of them. I know that the result of 1,000 hands is meaningless. I know that my journey isn't going to be a smooth ride. I've read other's stories, and (hopefully) learned something from them. Still, whether I will be able to handle the inevitable roller-coaster is unknown. It doesn't matter how many stories I read or graphs I look at, I have to go through it myself before I can truly understand.

Perhaps the first step is to realize how irrelevant last night's session was. 1,000 hands and down 3 buy-ins. If I allow myself to be wavered by this, then I certainly won't be able to handle the bigger swings that I will inevitably experience. I was alarmingly distraught after this session (which was last night, by the way), but hopefully I can shrug this off and continue to play the same brand of poker that has gotten me this far.

Perhaps a change of scenery will improve my spirits. I think I've had my fill of Cake.

Bankroll: $698.84

Edit: Wow, I say perhaps alot. Perhaps I should mix in a few maybes. FUCK.