Let's do it again

This is hilarious. It just shows how much I am on tilt and can not get around it.
I’m not even stressing about it anymore it’s so funny. I see a serious break from poker coming soon, so I want to put this in my notes for future reference.

I’ve probably played less than 1k hands this week. I had a little bit of time today so figured I’d get in and just single-table it for a while to see where I am at, mentally that is.

I play solidly for about an hour, avoiding any real tough spots. I don’t make any spaz-bluffs or calls, and I made a few tough folds. I catch a couple monsters and end up winning a little more than one buy-in. Not bad, ~100bb over ~100 hands, right? So I get up to take a leak and get some coffee and piece of yummy chocolate cake; feeling nice and relaxed. I open up a new table and this is the very first hand.

Cake - $0.04 NL (9 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 3

UTG: $3.87
MP: $4.00
CO: $4.68
BTN: $4.48
SB: $3.96
Hero (BB): $4.00

SB posts SB $0.02, Hero posts BB $0.04

Pre Flop: ($0.06) Hero has 5 8

fold, fold, fold, fold, SB raises to $0.12, Hero calls $0.08

Flop: ($0.24, 2 players) 7 K T
SB bets $0.16, Hero raises to $0.36, SB calls $0.20

Turn: ($0.96, 2 players) 5
SB checks, Hero bets $0.60, SB calls $0.60

River: ($2.16, 2 players) J
SB checks, Hero raises to $2.92 and is all-in, SB calls $2.88 and is all-in

SB shows K 4 (One Pair, Kings) (Pre 55%, Flop 94%, Turn 89%)
Hero shows 5 8 (One Pair, Fives) (Pre 45%, Flop 6%, Turn 11%)
SB wins $7.40

Total and absolute SPAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

I have heard of problem gamblers that have some sort of mental block and only get satisfaction when they lose. I think it was referenced in the book “Harrington on Cash”. Is it possible that I have gotten to that point? Perhaps. The good thing is that I am too much of a NIT when it comes to finances in general so this will have absolutely no impact on my life. As frustrating as this has been, I have to find the humor in how bad it can make you feel to lose just $4. I think the true frustration comes from the time spent playing, reading, watching, etc. But it's still funny how penny-poker can really piss a person off. Don’t get me wrong, I took this whole operation and poker in general very seriously up until a week or two ago, but my head is just not in it right now and fortunately I’m smart enough to realize it.