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HAI GAIS!!!!!
I've decided it's about time to write the trip report I mentioned 2 months ago.
A mate of mine, from here on known as Sharky, is at Manchester University studying Chemical Engineering. Every year all the Chemical Engineering departments at the majority of UK Universities take part in a massive sports day / piss up called Frank Morton. Sharky had been meaning to invite me and another mate, Jonny, over to Manchester for some time, and without realising invited us over the same weekend as Frank Morton. Once he realised he somehow managed to get me and Jonny onto the "list" of people going, despite the fact that neither of us did chemical engineering or went to Manchester Uni in the first place. Frank Morton was being held at Birmingham Uni, and Manchester Uni was putting a few coaches on to take us there at 6am on Saturday morning.
I arrive in Manchester at 5pm on Friday evening, meet Sharky at the station and we're just about to go back to his when Jonny rings and says he'll be at the station in an hour. Sharky and I figure we'll just go to a bar in the station whilst waiting for him, have a few pints and a couple of games of pool. When Jonny arrives he decides he'd like a couple of pints so we stay in the bar for a couple of hours before going for dinner. On the way back to Sharky's house, we stop off to pick up supplies for the next day, which for me and Jonny consisted of 8 cans of Fosters each and a bottle of vodka. We get back to Sharky's at about 8pm and play a little xbox before him and his housemates (AJ, Nick, Robbie) go to bed around 10pm because we have to be up at 5am to get the coach to Birmingham. Me and Jonny figure we'll play a little more xbox then go to bed, as we're sleeping in the living room anyway.
So its 3:30am, neither me nor Jonny have any Fosters left and we've polished off the vodka thanks to a lot of drinking FIFA, we're absolutely trashed and have to be up in an hour and a half. It seems like a good time to get some sleep.
5am comes and we get up, I'm still absolutely smashed and spend a good 40 minutes walking round Sharky's house naked after a shower which his housemates don't really understand, but fuck them I'd forgotten a towel so I was drip drying. We get a taxi to the Student Union where the coach is waiting and we snap sit on the back seat like the cool kids. Plenty of people pile on, all looking tired and they promptly fall asleep. Me, Jonny, Sharky, Nick, AJ and Robbie crack open a few beers and drink our way to Birmingham. We finally get there about 9:30am, me and Jonny are obviously still hammered.
We have to sign in, and as we do so we get given a "goodie bag" which contained a few shitty bits, but also had a Manchester Uni ChemEng T-Shirt and some flashing pink fairy wings. Naturally the t shirt and wings go straight on. Sharky and his housemates are all taking part in a 5 a side football tournament, so we find out where that's being held and we rock up to the pitches getting funny looks from every other team when they see us and our wings. The first match kicked off at 10:30am, and since Jonny and I aren't playing we decide that its beer o'clock (there was a toilet stop on the journey at a service station, which we had cleverly used to pick up 24 beers).
Theres not really much to say regarding the afternoon. The football tournament was on, Jonny and I drank relentlessly and hurled abuse at all the other teams. There is some sort of major rivalry between Manchester University and Imperial College London, and we were all singing a song that went as follows:
If I had the wings of a sparrow
The great dirty arse of a crow
I'd fly over Imperial tomorrow
And shit on the bastards below
Shit on
Shit on
Shit on the bastards below
BELOW!
Shit on
Shit on
Shit on the bastards below.
Imperial don't like the song, but lets face it, its a classic. So once the sports day is over and done with its off to the Student Union so people can start drinking. By now its around 5pm and Sharky's housemates are pretty surprised Jonny and I are still standing given that we havn't done anything except drink since about 6am. There's all sorts of sing offs between different Uni's whilst we're in the union and then we all get told that there are coaches outside to take us into Birmingham city centre.
Now its made apparent that each Uni has its own coaches, and that we all need to listen out for when its our Uni's turn to leave. So of course Jonny and I head straight out to get on the first coach regardless, which we're the first people on so we head up to the top deack and sit proudly at the front. The coach fills up, we havn't got a clue which Uni its actually for until a few people come upstairs wearing hoodies displaying "Imperial College London".
Obviously the intelligent thing to do at this time is stand up, turn around, and launch full volume into "If I had the wings of a sparrow. . ." which is greated by all manner of insults, although admittedly everyone thought it was pretty funny that the two of us were quite happy singing the song to a bus full of people.
The bus takes us to Walkabout where we drink more then decide its time to hit the dancefloor once we've managed to meet up with Sharky and his housemates again. Jonny and I are rocking it on a podium when a couple of FIT girls join us, before telling us that if we get with each other they will. Naturally I'm then tonguing Jonny, and then these girls go at it for ages which was just awesome.
After Walkabout we all head to Gatecrasher which has been hired out exclusively for Frank Morton, so its just full of ChemEng students from all over the place. Pretty standard nightclub drinking ensues - plenty of shots, shorts, bottles. Highlight of Gatecrasher was definately being on the dancefloor with some random girl on my shoulders at which point Sharky decides now is the time to rugby tackle me. We get bollocked by a bouncer but he doesn't chuck us out which is cool.
I dont know how I managed to lose everyone I was with, but I get a phone call at 2am from Jonny telling me I need to get out quickly because everyone is on the coach ready to go back to Manchester and they wont wait for me much longer. So i rush outside and get on the coach expecting abuse from everyone but they're pretty much all asleep. Me, Jonny, Sharky and his housemates, all of us absolutely beyond destroyed, start singing a variety of songs throughout the journey back and dicking about which no one apart from us finds funny, before we get back to Manchester at about 5:30am. We get back to Sharky's and collapse.
Jonny and I have to catch a train home at 9:30am, and without a doubt, that was literally the worst journey of my life. Although missing a train on purpose and therefore delaying our jouney by 2 hours just so we could hit up Burger King was a great decision.
tl;dr I know. But shit it was an awesome day!!
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Operation: Back on Track
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Originally Posted by sil693
Glad to see you're pseudo back tho! 
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