You should update more .

I think for a) a lot of it is getting back to basing my reactions on how I played the hand, not the results. If I figured I was well ahead of the majority of his range but ran into the top of it, then I played good and next hand, rather than feeling like shit because I ran into the top of his range. I definately need to stop thinking about winning it back from the player who took it. Thats detrimental to my game.

b) I think you touch on the right idea, and also the problem. Jyms was kind of the same. We've got plans already made for our money. For me, since my withdrawal I've literally kept a list of things I've bought that I would have bought with poker money if I had it, that I plan to pay back. I also have a mental list of things I plan to buy that I'm holding off until I get the money from poker. I think that weighs on my mind. I dont neccesarily want to scrap those plans and just play "in the now", but I've got to find a way of accepting that I'll get there when I get there and pushing too hard doesnt help, it hinders.