Just wondering if I'm self destructive or something. I think this is the 4th time I've got over 1900 this year and blown a bunch of buyins.

I dunno, dont think I am deliberately. I think I just get so keen because I'm so close, that I start trying to push things. "gotta play, gotta play" and jump on tables that are bad but hope to cooler someone. Then I get coolered, "gotta win it back, gotta win it back" and down I go.