Well, I don't know what to do. I've been on a poker study/playing binge the past week up until the 15th. My gf and I were driving home that day when the news hit so I had no idea until a few hours after. I was testing sending emails with my new phone. When I looked at my emails I received one from my FTR boss. I had no idea what was going on still even looking at the scary subject title. I opened that as well as a few replies and my heart sank. I was with my family and didn't want to rush upstairs to my computer so I politely continued as usual in the conversations.
The rest of the night would turn out to be, in my opinion, a top 3 in the worst nights of my life. And I mean that. And, unfortunately, poker was just part of the problem. I won't go into details with the other stuff but it was a day destined to irritate and frustrate me.
Now the other stuff that happened that night barely affect me. They still do but not nearly as much as this poker ordeal. It's not just the funds in my account and how I'm going to pay back griffey and all that because trust me that's the first and foremost worry I have, but now I'm worried about my other ways of making income.
This leads to thinking I need to relentlessly send resumes in hopes of a full-time position. This is what my parents want. This is what my friends expect. This is what my gf's uncle's best friend expects. I'm not ready for it. I was content where I was 3 days ago. Having a full-time job at the potential places I've looked at will surely make everyone but myself happy. My parents will certainly tell me how they're glad I don't play anymore and say how they know my life is better. All I know is that I have played sports competitively all my life and have been decent at almost all of them. I was also a decent student and graduated from college. But nothing, NOTHING, will compare with how much effort and time I put into this "hobby" and what life lessons I have taken away from it.
Ironically, my phone CAN send emails. Cool.
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