I hate pokers.

Just passed the 100k mark for the month, total profit is -$800. 4k behind all-in EV etc. etc. boo hoo sad face no one cares yipeeeee.

Either way I'm playing crap. Volume even though it's not on the pace for sne is definitely getting to me and it's frankly tilting me. This is easily my worst run ever, looking at it on my graph since march is quite funny, I've been fortunate that my "all-in luck" has been quite stable in the past but for the last 100k hands the two lines have diverged significantly

So I come to a bt of a cross-roads in my poker "career". Do I look towards SNE, play a fuck-load of hands and probably make quite a lot of money, at the possible cost of development as a player. I feel like it will be restricting, tiring, annoying and I will hate poker by the end of the year.

Alternatively, I drop down to 16 tables, TABLE SELECT BETTER (my table selection has been virtually non-existent while 24 tabling and the results are telling), maybe move up stakes, possibly aim for the $6k milestone at 600k VPPs.... Watch videos, improve, analyse, probably play more lag, try out 6m, HU, PLO, badugi.......

I do have another plan though, I'm going to try 24 tabling with a stripped down HUD showing only vpip/pfr/attmp to steal and aggression factor. Old school! Hopefully getting rid of the 3bet stat will stop me spewing and the reduced clutter will allow me to concentrate on stack sizes, notes, history, table selecting and important stuff like that.... We'll see how that goes but this month has been fairly soul-crushing and I don't know if I'm ready to accept life as a 24 tabling 1ptBB robot just yet.

Also, I may well drop out of college at some point because it's shit. I guess it is linked in with the poker, I would just grind through college even if I did hate it if I didn't any other options. Poker provides me with a real alternative option, idk what is best for the long term though so for the moment at least I stay in college (it's a music college and it's not really possible to take a year out or anything as theoretically that would mean I am out of practice and it's a very performance based course.) Basically I haven't been getting on with my individual tutors and the lectures always were shit but are getting more so. I feel like I'd let a lot of people down if I quit, parents, teachers, friends and also myself. Bahhhh, who knows what I should do with my life?