Warning: Long post - skip to "the point" if details and ramblings about my life will bore the hell out of you.

I started an operation (4.5k by May) last night. I think I'll keep posting in both. I'm gonna do a traditional operation there, with posts at least weekly about hands played and br totals. I've got 2.7k, so I just need 1.8k to get there.

I feel like I'm finally starting to complete this operation: winning is a habit. What that meant to me a year ago when I started here was that I played my C game too much, just to be playing poker. I didn't study enough or take winning seriously enough. I didn't have the right attitude for poker. But the epiphany didn't really occur until 4 months ago, so I'm not sure winning is actually habitual for me - yet.

This next few days will be a test. I'm cooked. I'm exhausted and brain dead. A huge research and professional development project I've been working on for 5 years had a massive near-end-phase deadline culminating in a workshop yesterday where we had 18 high school teachers of statistics on campus. I organized the entire event, plus presented 3 hour-long sessions, plus worked with 6 student workers behind the scenes that I hired and trained. I am NOT cut out to be an event coordinator.

I worked more than 60 hours last week and something way past 80 this week - I was at work by 6 AM the last three days, and went back to work after dinner Wed/Thurs and stayed until nearly midnight.

I've played maybe 5k hands in the last 2 weeks thanks to work craziness, and my play over those 5k hands while profitable, may have just been positive variance. I felt like things were wobbly. So I'm rusty, and cooked, and I know from experience that I will be mentally "off" for several days until I catch up on sleep, exercise and other life normalcy.

These are times where playing my C game is an extremely easy trap to fall into. Now that the stress is bleeding off, chilling out with pokah seems like a grand way to relax. The kind of discipline that has preserved the upward trend of my bankroll is to simply NOT play when I'm exhausted, sick, or distracted. That's fine, to a point, but I get rusty and wobbly if I play fewer than 5k hands over a couple weeks or so. I tend to stack off a couple of times needlessly in a couple of abysmal sessions before bearing down and getting back to my A game.

The Point
I might not play well this weekend and next week because (a) I haven't played many hands lately and (b) I am exhausted at a deep level. This is the point of learning that will help me most, given how my professional life peaks into a few weeks of frenzy about 3 times per year.

To be successful playing in the next 10 days, I must:
1. Not play except when A-game capable.
2. Stop playing whenever sub-A play appears. Take a break. Resume only if #1 seems true after a short break.
3. Focus on each hand each time - if my concentration seems low, cut back on tables. If I can't concentrate enough, just stop playing - even if I'm winning.
4. Study HH's after every session to look for signs of my habitual "tired" leaks reappearing.

I also need to exercise, eat better and return to normal sleep patterns. And spend time with my kids to regain some life EV. As I work into a normal life pattern, I think poker will be fine. But this is the kind of thing that would have just gutted my bankroll last year. I'd have dropped 8 BI at 10nlh, switched to 10plo, cough up another 5 BI, and then back to 10nlh, and so on... until 200 bucks later I would take a break for a couple of days 'cuz I hated poker so much. Why not just take the break BEFORE - right when I'm worst off mentally. Then maybe skip the speworgy.

None of that. Just steady, confident and patient.