Read My Novel and Tell Me Why It Sucks (Parts 1-3)

Totally forgot about this. Gimme the whole book in one go and I'll read it and post my thoughts with no regard for your feelings or mine. My main memories of it right now are enough footnotes to rival a legal text, oral sex (giving), cooking, stalking in a shop and being curious enough to want to read the rest. So gimme gimme gimme.

it's the only why? i won't even go back and edit that. also beer.