Yeah, I donked off a few buy-ins @ Rush Poker when it first came out. At first I thought it was new and innovative and that it would bring a lot of fish to the game. That was probably all true, but what took me a little while to realize is that there is little to no skill edge in poker without reads, table dynamics, and player history. When every hand is played in a vacuum, it's basically like video poker or a slot machine. There are some players who disagree, but I feel pretty confident that any edge a player can have in Rush Poker is pretty small compared to what that same player would get playing real poker. So, after the 2nd day, I was done playing Rush Poker and have vowed to treat it like all other casino games I avoid like the plague such as slot machines, roulette, and black jack.

It sounds like you have several real life issues to work on and taking a break from poker is probably a good idea because it's the type of activity you don't want to play with any immediate baggage. I don't know the details of your life, but it sounds like you need some direction and purpose and you're still finding your way. A LOT of people in early adulthood have this problem. So, don't feel like you're a failure or have let anyone down. You're not old enough to have had a chance to fail You're never too old to go back to college if that's what you want to do. You're never too young to start a business. There are lots of things you can do to make money and be successful. I don't know your motivation for playing poker in the past, present, or future, but I would STRONGLY recommend that you DO NOT consider playing poker as a means to a full time income. Treat poker as a fun hobby that, if you're fortunate, will bring in some side-money.

Also, while you're figuring out "what am I going to do with my life", I suggest you take a closer look at what you want out of life to make you happy. It's quite possible you could find a good job with purpose, be successful @ poker, and still NOT be happy. Granted, you would probably be happier or more content than if you didn't have those things, but happiness can be complicated and is rarely defined by anything we HAVE. Look at the relationships you have in life with you family and friends. Look at other fun activities such as books or movies or music. Make sure you continue to exercise and take care of your body. Think about what it is you are REALLY searching for in life - it might not be things like poker or money. At any rate, search and enjoy the journey. Don't put any lofty expectations on yourself. Definitely don't hate yourself or your life. You have the power to make yourself happy.

As for poker, I don't know exactly where you took a wrong turn, but I think there were two main factors involved. You took an extended break and tried to pick up exactly where you left off, if not a stake higher. I went to the Caribbean for just one week where I didn't play poker and I had a little bit of trouble getting back in the swing of things. Poker is always changing and so do the players and games. When you're on your game and in a zone and take a long break, I think it takes a little time to ease back into it to get back to peak position. Obviously the longer you're away, the longer it will take to get back to old form. By your own admittance, it sounds like you're not following bankroll management and to make it worse, you also admit you are emotionally tied to the money and results. That is a surefire recipe for disaster. The three main components of poker success in order of importance are bankroll management, tilt control, and poker skill - you're having trouble with ALL THREE. Obviously there are likely some real life issues contributing to much of this, but that's still the challenge you'll have to deal with - realize to not play so that you don't lose money instead of losing money to realize you shouldn't have played.

Whenever you're done with your break, if you still want to play, I suggest you pick up @ $5NL and basically start from scratch until you have $300 for $10NL. If you're not already, be humble. Don't think you deserve to be playing $50NL or whatever. Approach it as if you may NOT be successful @ even $2NL. In poker, I think you need a healthy balance of confidence AND fear. Have the confidence to know you will succeed but the fear to know you may not such that you will do everything you need to do to be successful. If NOTHING else, FOLLOW BANKROLL MANAGEMENT and heed a one day stop loss of 5% of your bankroll. You should NEVER lose more than 5% of your bankroll in any one day.

Good luck.