Slevins: One day at a time

When I joined FTR I did so to learn how to make money at the game, but then I was told I had to play the ultra- micros to start.

The sensible side of me knows this is right as everyone hear knows what they're talking about the fact that the money was insignificant at 2NL made it about ten times harder. At 5NL it's a little easier because although the stakes are still small if you win 6 BI in a day, which can happen from time to time that's $30 and at least approaching something usuable.

Part of the reason I have gambled with my BR so much in the past is because once I spend days grinding, if I then lose some and the roll moves back to about $50 I think the amount I have to gain by playing outside of that roll outweighs what I have to lose. I can deposit $50 next week or the week after If I lose it, but If I get it back to $100 at least I'm not stuck in that infernal 2NL grind anymore, thats the thinking anyway. It's when I lose that I gamble my BR, because I think I've got more to gain than I have to lose by playing outside of my bankroll when it's so low and can be redposited.

What actually happened recently was this. I deposited £20 ($27) I grinded I lost some 2NL, I won alot of Omaha, I won some small $1 SNGs. I then had a day where I crushed 2NL won about $30 in one day. Next day I lose some more at 2NL. Next day I lose some more at 2NL. Then I lose some Omaha. I went from $101 to $80 in the same day. Then I thought jesus I'm going to be grinding 2NL for the next week to get that back, It isn't worth it. I may as well try to win it back so I can start 5nl again which is where I would have been anyway if I'd have just stopped when I was $100 at 2NL. Countless people have told me wheather you start your poker journey at 2nl, 5NL, or 10NL doesn't matter it's bankroll dependent but there's no real knowledge to be gained by progressing through those ultra micros in an orderly fashion. So my BR was at $80 odd two days ago I played a $20 DoN which I lost. Dumb I know then my BR was about $64.

3 days wasted into the op despite the best of motives, I've done it again and donked 4 buyins away now I'm at $64. Well I need to get out of this stupid stake. So I reverted to my old ways and bought into a $60 10-man SNG, with the last of my bankroll. I end up winning it, obviously extremely lucky to do so. This brings my BR to $250, this was two days ago. Obv didn't mention this a couple of days ago as I knew people would be dissapointed, infuriated, or a combination of both. Then I start playing 5NL go on a massive cooler as I posted yesterday and am down $40. That's when I decided to play the 20 DoN. With the real intention of dropping down to 10 if I lost. I played 6 and won four which brought the BR back to $249.

I want to make money at this game but at the moment I don't know if I will ever develop the discipline to do so. Realising that's the only way to make money at the game I'm not too sure If It will be possible for me to be a winning player.

I don't enjoy being the laughing stock of the FTR blog forums. Becoming a winning poker player is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do in my life. I've studied A-levels before, I've studied English Lit. at degree BA level. I've setup computer networks for embassies in London and I've tried to become a pro snooker player (although I was never anywhere near good enough, but I tried) travelling hundreds of miles for the best coaching in the world when I was in my late teens. All of these are nothing compared to how hard I find it to become a winning poker player. Yet the income that the high stakes winning players on FTR generate is was constantly drives me to do it. I desire a better life for myself and if I was a winning poker player, I would have that better life. That is why I keep trying, even though I find it virutally impossible to follow a sound BR strategy once I've had a couple of big losing sessions.

I had arranged with JGB to pay for the GS scholarship next week (this was the date setup for payment weeks ago when we set it up) - because that is when I am getting payed some money owed to me by a company I did some work for. Now I've got $249 in PS I'm going to pay him out of that, which will leave me with $199 in my BR. The highest it's ever been.

In terms of my game I am not sure where I should be playing or where I go from here. My BR is the biggest it's ever been and I'm rolled for 10NL now. But I think I should probabally grind 5NL but I'm not sure how long for. I've worked hard to becoming a winning player but am not sure if I will ever be able to overcome my poor discipline.

It does worry me that I may never master the discipline needed to develop into a winning player. There's nothing I want more at the moment than to become a winning player.

Slevins: One day at a time

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03-11-2009 05:05 PM #11
LuckySlevin View Profile View Forum Posts View Blog Entries Join Date Jul 2008 Posts 1,189 Location Live Poker Room	When I joined FTR I did so to learn how to make money at the game, but then I was told I had to play the ultra- micros to start. The sensible side of me knows this is right as everyone hear knows what they're talking about the fact that the money was insignificant at 2NL made it about ten times harder. At 5NL it's a little easier because although the stakes are still small if you win 6 BI in a day, which can happen from time to time that's $30 and at least approaching something usuable. Part of the reason I have gambled with my BR so much in the past is because once I spend days grinding, if I then lose some and the roll moves back to about $50 I think the amount I have to gain by playing outside of that roll outweighs what I have to lose. I can deposit $50 next week or the week after If I lose it, but If I get it back to $100 at least I'm not stuck in that infernal 2NL grind anymore, thats the thinking anyway. It's when I lose that I gamble my BR, because I think I've got more to gain than I have to lose by playing outside of my bankroll when it's so low and can be redposited. What actually happened recently was this. I deposited £20 ($27) I grinded I lost some 2NL, I won alot of Omaha, I won some small $1 SNGs. I then had a day where I crushed 2NL won about $30 in one day. Next day I lose some more at 2NL. Next day I lose some more at 2NL. Then I lose some Omaha. I went from $101 to $80 in the same day. Then I thought jesus I'm going to be grinding 2NL for the next week to get that back, It isn't worth it. I may as well try to win it back so I can start 5nl again which is where I would have been anyway if I'd have just stopped when I was $100 at 2NL. Countless people have told me wheather you start your poker journey at 2nl, 5NL, or 10NL doesn't matter it's bankroll dependent but there's no real knowledge to be gained by progressing through those ultra micros in an orderly fashion. So my BR was at $80 odd two days ago I played a $20 DoN which I lost. Dumb I know then my BR was about $64. 3 days wasted into the op despite the best of motives, I've done it again and donked 4 buyins away now I'm at $64. Well I need to get out of this stupid stake. So I reverted to my old ways and bought into a $60 10-man SNG, with the last of my bankroll. I end up winning it, obviously extremely lucky to do so. This brings my BR to $250, this was two days ago. Obv didn't mention this a couple of days ago as I knew people would be dissapointed, infuriated, or a combination of both. Then I start playing 5NL go on a massive cooler as I posted yesterday and am down $40. That's when I decided to play the 20 DoN. With the real intention of dropping down to 10 if I lost. I played 6 and won four which brought the BR back to $249. I want to make money at this game but at the moment I don't know if I will ever develop the discipline to do so. Realising that's the only way to make money at the game I'm not too sure If It will be possible for me to be a winning player. I don't enjoy being the laughing stock of the FTR blog forums. Becoming a winning poker player is the hardest thing I've ever tried to do in my life. I've studied A-levels before, I've studied English Lit. at degree BA level. I've setup computer networks for embassies in London and I've tried to become a pro snooker player (although I was never anywhere near good enough, but I tried) travelling hundreds of miles for the best coaching in the world when I was in my late teens. All of these are nothing compared to how hard I find it to become a winning poker player. Yet the income that the high stakes winning players on FTR generate is was constantly drives me to do it. I desire a better life for myself and if I was a winning poker player, I would have that better life. That is why I keep trying, even though I find it virutally impossible to follow a sound BR strategy once I've had a couple of big losing sessions. I had arranged with JGB to pay for the GS scholarship next week (this was the date setup for payment weeks ago when we set it up) - because that is when I am getting payed some money owed to me by a company I did some work for. Now I've got $249 in PS I'm going to pay him out of that, which will leave me with $199 in my BR. The highest it's ever been. In terms of my game I am not sure where I should be playing or where I go from here. My BR is the biggest it's ever been and I'm rolled for 10NL now. But I think I should probabally grind 5NL but I'm not sure how long for. I've worked hard to becoming a winning player but am not sure if I will ever be able to overcome my poor discipline. It does worry me that I may never master the discipline needed to develop into a winning player. There's nothing I want more at the moment than to become a winning player.