Thanks all the support is extremely welcomed and needed.

Kmind - That does mean a lot man, it's reassuring to know I'm not disiullsioning myself and talking shit all the time. I'll sort this mental shit out soon. It seems sometimes I just fucking forget, or forget to implement everything I know about poker (not sure which)

I really need to get the emotional brain back under control. I think it is just a mix of uni and things not being great with my girlfriend recently. We as humans, need vices and punch bags for all the negative shit in our heads. Sometimes this can be poker. We need to treat our poker carrers with the respect they deserve and not as a punch bag for emotions that we don't want in our heads.

Boog - Yeah I agree with what you say. I've made myself this rigid schedual of poker to fit around classes and I think it's making me play when I'm not at my best. It needs to be flexible and in tune with my mood.

M2M - Appreicate that man, I'll defo hit you up at some point. And yeah I feel like you leap frogged me in those 4 months where I stopped playing for the summer. It's like a pacemaker in a race type thing though. Your progress is a really good bench mark for my short term goals.

Sup3rman - TY sir we can pwn these 25ennels feesh together before we move up.

So yeah stuff IRL is defo fucking up my head just now and affecting my play. I wish things were back to hoe they used to be with my g/f. Feels like the relationships either dying or we just have nothing in common to be happy about together anymore. I seem to just have all this negative feeling towards her right now and my minds starting to wonder if the relationships jus gonna burn out and fail. I feel like I have to force myself to be a decent person around her. That sounds really fucked up, but I my natural disposition around her is often that of a moron. And that isn't who I am or who I want to be.

I don't fucking know what's going to happen. I'm sick of pretending everything's fine though. I guess we need a big talk and then deecide what we can do to spend a lot of time together and get back to the way thing used to be. We need common things to be happy about together. I'm not ready to give up on what's been the best relationship of my life up untl the last 2 months or so.

Fucking hell, why do we not just buy little diary books with flowers on them to bitch about this stuff. I'll stop ranting there. I'm going to go for a cycle just now to stay active then I'll play a few hours this afternoon. Friends are coming over for drinks tonight, so I'm just going to try and empty my mind of the shit going on and have fun. It's been a long fucking week, I'm defo in need of fun.