Everything that will be written in here will be factual. You won't be seeing much of my usual brb bbq shenanananigans in this thread, so if you clicked on this thread because you want me to make gay jokes about you, go away. haha but seriously, if you spam this thread I will fuck your shit up, the whole reason why I'm not posting this here instead of in the community forum is because it is a zoo in there and I don't want this thread to get trashed. This is my way of keeping my thoughts organized, to track my progress, and to share some of my personal philosophies relating to poker. It is also an attempt to put some structure in my life, as odd as that may sound. Some may call this a blog but I will not, because I hate using made up internet words that debase the English language.

Now that I have that out of the way I will get started.

I am a 21-year old college dropout living in Humboldt County,which is about a 5 hour drive north of San Francisco. I moved out here for college from the east coast, and spent my freshman year living in the dorms getting fucked up, not going to class, and raiding my roommate's fridge.

School gets out, summer comes around, and I'm kinda stuck in between places. I end up having to move into this shithole of an apartment for the summer. A few weeks in the place gets its electricity shut off, by no fault of mine. So naturally I start spending more time at my neighbor's place, instead of sitting in the fucking dark at my place. Now the guy who lived in the basement of this house played at Party Poker. Before I met this guy I didn't even know what hold'em was, but after he let me play some SNGs on his computer I knew that this was something I had to get good at. On an interesting note, the guy who introduced me to hold'em was a gas station attendant during the night, and a horrible poker player by day. Every day he grew paler, balder, more broke, and more bitter. He was the archetypal degenerate gambler and I grew to despise the man. Looking back though, had I not met this man I would in all likelyhood never have started playing online poker and would be living a different life right now.

So I put $50 into a PartyPoker account and started playing low-stakes SNGs and micro-stakes limit. I lose about three or four hundred dollars by the end of the summer, and then I stop playing because I couldn't handle the losses. I pick it back up in January of 2005 when my finances are replenished and start playing micro NL. I start winning so I start gradually moving up in stakes. By August I'm a winning player at 2/4 NL. After sophomore year I decide that college was getting me nowhere slow so I tell my parents to fuck off, move up to 5/10 NL, and start playing some real fucking poker.

9 months later I'm sitting here at my computer, blazed as usual, reflecting on how far I've come since the days of .25/.50 limit, and where I am going from here.

My personal philosophy when it comes to poker is evolve or die. Once my game starts to stagnate, whether it be out of lack of drive or lack of ability, I am done with poker. Once I reach that limit, there is simply no reason for me to continue playing poker, and PO$$E$$ED shall be no more. Until that day, I will continue to post at this site.

I am staking two friends right now. One of them, who I shall refer to as The Phenom from here on out, is a kid I found at a home game, playing unbelievably tight poker against unbelievably drunk and bad blayers. He is currently raping the Party Poker 100 NL playing tight as shit. I am elated to be staking this guy, as he is a proven winner who cleared 5 digits last year playing live poker.

The other kid I shall refer to as The Project. He is my roommate, and he sucks balls at poker but somehow he has donked his way upwards. I don't even understand how he does it; he likes to make horrible plays when I'm watching, does stupid shit like buy-in to a 1000 NL game with a third of his bankroll (of course he gets stacked a few minutes in), but at the end of the week he's always up. I have this theory that he has guys he meets on the poker site transfer him funds to have cyber sex with them, but this has yet to be verified. hahaha I hope he's reading this, that motherfucker.

One last thing- I don't have a bankroll, I have a liferoll. I pay for everything out of my liferoll, as it is my only asset. It is different from a bankroll in that I am constantly withdrawing funds from it to pay bills and such. Poker is my only investment, so if I go busto I am truly done for.

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.”
-Lao Tzu

The Project's bankroll $1232
The Prodigy's bankroll $1796
my liferoll $124224