I'm ready to say a few words about my poker adventure, which until recently left me in such an emotional state that I was unable, or unwilling, to express it.

A quick summary since last update:
- had a sickly bad run playing some 50nl HU which took a huge chunk out of my roll
- attempted to refuel my roll by grinding SnG's. It's not clear whether I just suck or ran really, really bad but I dropped 30+ bi's and abandoned that as quickly as I adopted it.
- Did some soul searching

Presently, I'm revisiting 25nl and methodically grinding my way up from there. I know this place. It's the point of the ascending spiral and I've reached what might appear to be the same point in a circle.. except where I stand is elevated from the point I recognize below me. And the major difference, the one that has allowed me to realize that I haven't simply stood still all this time - impossible to do so anyhow imo - is that I recognize that poker is in fact a game. A game to be played, as is all of life. i.e. It's not to be taken seriously. This game is simply another expression, one of infinite expressions, of the here and now. It exists when I look at it and what I see is me. The detachment that many advocate to play exceptional poker is largely accomplished by the awareness that you can't separate yourself from it at all. When you engage it, you become it. The construct, the rules, the opponents, the dynamics and flow, the swings.. all of it, is you. And when you truly surrender, only then can you navigate it with ease; confidence and such being a consequence of your acceptance, profit a byproduct, success a matter of choice... but clearly all meaningless except for the pure enjoyment of experiencing it.