Okay, correct my current lack of understanding of black holes.

My layman's knowledge of SR is that if a human was accelerated to nearly c, he would experience time dilation. His clock would tick normally, while time rushed by for stationary observers. If your mass could be accelerated to c, your time dilation would be infinite, and you would see the entire universe shrivel up and die around you in a nanosecond.

Carrying that same concept over to GR, something has me confused about black holes. According to a physics forum thread I read, the effects of gravitational time dilation are identical to velocity time dilation at the escape velocity of the mass that is creating the gravitational field. This means, as far as I can tell, that everything within the event horizon of a black hole experiences infinite time dilation, i.e. a person in the process of crossing the event horizon would see the entire universe go dark in a fraction of a second. And observers from an arbitrary distance would see him start to get flattened into the EH asymptotically but he would never get swallowed up.

My problem with this account is that everything I've read suggests that a person/mass/whatever would survive crossing the EH unscathed, and wouldn't even experience extreme tidal forces until well within the EH assuming a large, non-spinning black hole. It seems far more plausible that mass is incapable of existing in a c-escape-velocity gravitational field, and that black holes are just big balls of tiramisu that just perpetually flatten objects onto their EH's. If one could cross the EH unscathed, wouldn't the black hole just spit him out in an instant because it would evaporate enough mass of Hawking radiation well before he was in any danger? Of course trillions of years might have elapsed.