Cheer me up.

[a500lbgorilla]

Suffering severe burnout from school. Cheer me up.

[LeFou]

a500lbgorilla walks into a bar.

















and does whatever the fuck he wants to do

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all

"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

[MortenTA]

25 Lines from Star Wars that can be improved if you substitute the word "Pants"

Note to any non-Brits reading this. It's far funnier if you use the British meanings where pants = underpants, not trousers.

A tremor in the pants. The last time I felt this was in the presence of my old master.

You are unwise to lower your pants.

We've got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down.

She must have hidden the plans in her pants. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally Commander.

These pants may not look like much, kid, but they've got it where it counts.

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it.

Han will have those pants down. We've got to give him more time!

General Veers, prepare your pants for a surface assault.

I used to bulls-eye womb-rats in my pants back home.

TK-421. . . Why aren't you in your pants?

Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.

Governor Tarkin. I recognized your foul pants when I was brought on board.

You look strong enough to pull the pants off of a Gundark.

Luke. . . Help me take...these pants off.

Great, Chewie, great. Always thinking with your pants.

That blast came from those pants. That thing's operational!

Don't worry. Chewie and I have gotten into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

Maybe you'd like it back in your pants, your highness.

Your pants betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for your sister!

Jabba doesn't have time for smugglers who drop their pants at the first sign of an Imperial Cruiser.

Yeah, well short pants is better than no pants at all, Chewie.

Attention. This is Lando Calrissian. The Empire has taken control of my pants, I advise everyone to leave before more troops arrive.

I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.

[LeFou]

Okay, dick jokes have it all over walks-into-a-bar, so...

Some movie titles that might be fun nicknames for one's penis:

Gladiator
American Beauty
The Deer Hunter
What Women Want
American Psycho
Eraserhead
The Two Towers (if you have two)
O Brother Where Art Thou? (if you don't have any)

[boost]

hah good thread.

**hugs rilla**

[Lukie]

Steelers 21, Bears 9

[Lukie]

Suffering severe burnout from school. Cheer me up.

Watch some porn. Especially the lesbian variety.

[a500lbgorilla]

Steelers 21, Bears 9

Big Ben's Thumb. Lig damage.

He's only got like 1 more season in him. :(

[Lukie]

Steelers 21, Bears 9

Big Ben's Thumb. Lig damage.

He's only got like 1 more season in him.

Think of the miracles of modern day medicine. He may be one of those guys that are just always injured in the NFL, but I think it's too early to tell yet.

[a500lbgorilla]

Steelers 21, Bears 9

Big Ben's Thumb. Lig damage.

He's only got like 1 more season in him.

Think of the miracles of modern day medicine. He may be one of those guys that are just always injured in the NFL, but I think it's too early to tell yet.

WE NEED HIM TO WIN FOOTBALL GAMES

[Lukie]

*pats the furry 'ol rilla on the back*

[Lukie]

Steelers 21, Bears 9

Big Ben's Thumb. Lig damage.

He's only got like 1 more season in him.

Think of the miracles of modern day medicine. He may be one of those guys that are just always injured in the NFL, but I think it's too early to tell yet.

WE NEED HIM TO WIN FOOTBALL GAMES

damnit rilla, i was only trying to help. lol.

[badandy519]

just go win a 180 man on Stars and cheer yourself up

[a500lbgorilla]

just go win a 180 man on Stars and cheer yourself up

I can't even money those things.

You people don't know anything!!!!

[Xianti]

http://mostemailed.xidus.net/index.php?tt=40328&l=3

[a500lbgorilla]

He skinned and ate the puppy?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!

[donkbee]

rilla, i you. now stop being sad, it's making me sad too

[Lukie]

http://mostemailed.xidus.net/index.php?tt=40328&l=3

hahahah.. that shit is great.

[journey075]

steelers are this season's superbowl champs. promise.

[DoGGz]

steelers NEXT season's superbowl champs. promise.

They won't even make it this year!

[journey075]

...you wont even make it this year.

[worldbeater03]

steelers gotta go thru Indianapolis to get to Detroit, and The Colts win in Indy!!!!! COLTS WIN THE SUPERBOWL!!!

[cardsman1992]

indeed world beater!!!!!!! COLTS FINALLY WIN!!!!

[gabe]

Okay, dick jokes have it all over walks-into-a-bar, so...

Some movie titles that might be fun nicknames for one's penis:

Gladiator
American Beauty
The Deer Hunter
What Women Want
American Psycho
Eraserhead
The Two Towers (if you have two)
O Brother Where Art Thou? (if you don't have any)

that line is funny

[a500lbgorilla]

It'll be great when the Steelers do to indy what the Patriots did to the Steelers 4 seasons ago.

[cardsman1992]

hey 'rilla,
Don't think this is your boys' year...they will have to fight tooth and nail just to make the playoffs...and the colts are on a roll. And they don't have to play outside in the cold (that has been there weakness)....

Are you legal? If so, we could wager a beer on it....

[Xianti]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?do...egend+of+zelda

[Gab15]

''Cheer me up'' dude your such a sad nerd

[JoseyWales]

http://www.kingkonggame.com/us/

[a500lbgorilla]

hey 'rilla,
Don't think this is your boys' year...they will have to fight tooth and nail just to make the playoffs...and the colts are on a roll. And they don't have to play outside in the cold (that has been there weakness)....

Are you legal? If so, we could wager a beer on it....

Being seeded number 1 only hurts the Steelers. I'm pretty sure we can only win being seeded 6th or worse :P

[boost]

e=mc^2


OH MY FUCKING OGD ITS MY BIRTHDAY... ERR ITS SIX IN THE AM BNOW BUT IM STILL DRUNK SO ITSN STILL MYB IRTHDAY BITHCES! HAHAHAHA