i realize this is after the fact, but...

Oh Good Sir, I am afraid I am in a terrible situation. I am crying as I write this. I am in desperate need of 20 dollars... I am afraid to even tell you my condition, but I fear I must in order to get the sympathy necessary for you to make this donation, and I assure you it is to a more than noble cause.

You see... I play limit hold'em... *sobs*.