Daddy Dranger

[boost]

All my friends who smoke weed mainly smoke joints with tobacco. I had one healthy friend who only used a vaporiser.

I know people who role spliffs, and sometimes I smoke spliffs with them if I'm in the mood. But I definitely do not think that this is the standard. I know many many more people who generally spoke bowls, blunts, joints, vaporizers, bongs, etc, of straight weed. Tobacco is absolutely not needed to facilitate the use of marijuana, and therefore my argument still stands.


Game, Blouses.

[rong]

I think blunts and bongs are far more common in the US. Joints with tobacco are definitely the standard over here. But I'm with you on the weed argument. Should be legalized and taxed imo. Far better to smoke weed than drink alcohol that's for sure.

[a500lbgorilla]

Soo...

We can probably scrap this thread. She called me this afternoon after she left a doctor appointment crying saying that the baby is 1/2 the size it should be, her cervix is getting really weak and there's pretty much 0 chance she'll carry full term. And if she does, there's a good chance her uterine wall(?) will tear and kill her anyways...

Was fun to think about being a dad while it lasted I suppose...

I need a drink.

Wow bro, this is terrible.

[a500lbgorilla]

wait ... so if they told her the baby is half the size it should be , thats implying that she went for her 20 week or (6-8 week) ultrasound where they check skeletal developement and can sex the baby. If she wanted you to be the dad , to try for a relationship , did she even ask you if you wanted to go with her for the scan and actually get to see your kid for the first time?

Or had you asked her why it took 3 months to tell you , or she's realized that you mean it about the DNA test. Ask her to see the scan pics ,cos lets face it everyone gets the pics from the scan and see if theres anything on it showing stage of pregnancy, some do some don't, seems much more likely she shagged someone at christmas and got pregnant to that and shes been working her way back trying to find someone to take her and the baby on.

Don't getthe uterine tear comment at all. Googling it it seems to be asociated with previous ceasarians,big babies or multiple pregnancies in the past all of which will weaken the uterine wall.In an 18 year old without most of the causal effects why would she be likely to develope it . Sounds more like she's realized that she isn't gonna suck you in and an 11 month pregnancy is gonna take some explaining.

lol Keith still manages to turn this from a tragedy into a drama.

[eugmac]

Meh if she's asking you to be there as the father of this child (be it biologically yours or not) I think it's reasonable to expect of her to ask you to come with her to the doctor's appointment. You as the alleged father have every right in the world to be privy to the very same information as she. Ask her to set up another appointment where you can come with, since it's totally natural for you to want to hear it straight from the horse's mouth, to better understand the situation for yourself.

[!Luck]

This shit is fucked, sorry man.

[Luco]

The solution is simple:

Aaliyah - Try Again - YouTube

[bikes]

If I had to be completely honest. Part of me feels absolutely horrific for you. That sucks to a level I can't comprehend. Other part of me feels. well. you probably know.

[Keith]

lol Keith still manages to turn this from a tragedy into a drama.

Why don't you grow up.

In the last week, Dranger has been on an emotional roller coaster solely due to the word of this girl saying that he's the father of her child.I just find it suspicious that once his parents advise a dna test and he agrees with them , we get a weekend and then she's at the doctors being told that the baby is half the expected size and probably won't go to term.

Just look at his excitement and how proud a father he would have been. I have no doubt that he would have loved to be present at the scan and see his child for the first time. As a person over the last week he has grown enormously and i have been impressed with the maturity he has shown in facing up to his responsibilities and the choices he has made.

If this is his child and he faces losing it, he deserves to see the scan pics. This is no longer a case of an unwanted unplanned pregnancy being terminated , dranger had come to accept this pregnancy , to want the child , to be the best dad that he could be. To him , this is his child and no one can know the feelings he currently has than those that have faced it before. All because of the word of this girl.

[a500lbgorilla]

I wasn't making light of dranger's situation which is tragic, I was making light of your conspiratorial thinking. You may or may not be correct, but time will hash that out. There was no reason for you to be adding to the burden of his situation.

[bikes]

WHY ARE WE CONSPIRACY THEORIZING THIS?


I don't have the heart to post what I wrote otherwise and this is the only thing that made the cut.

[bikes]

lol this thread just hung a hard left and all signs point to awesometown, population soon to be dranger.

BASICALLY THIS.

[Penneywize]

Really sorry to hear all this dranger. Hope you pull through okay. I hate cliches as much as the next guy but - if it wasn't meant to be ...

Feel free to ignore this, but I think it's probably best you think through what you want to do next. Asking for scans of the ultrasound or whatever would accomplish what, exactly? If she's able to verify her story, would that change how you feel about her? Is it even in the question now that you would continue seeing eachother? Seems rather doubtful.

[dranger7070]

Thanks everyone...

No chance in hell I'm abandoning her right now. She's had 5 months to get used to the idea of being a mom. I've only known for 5 days that I'm going to be a dad and I still feel utterly crushed.

Fwiw Keith/Rilla/etc, when she first told me she had said that the doctor had already told her the baby was abnormally small and there was a good chance it had Down's Syndrome because of its size and it had an unusually large amount of fatty tissue around the neck. I think this appointment (I've known about it since she told me) was for the doc to take a sample of the amniotic(?) fluid and test for it and this is the news she received before they took the test.

So its not like it being undersized is her just coming up with shit out of the blue. Appreciate getting studied from all angles though... lol

[a500lbgorilla]

You're a good man, dranger.

[Monty3038]

Dude, rough situation. I can't claim to have any idea what you're going through. Think about what is right both for the Child, the Mother and Yourself. If you or the mother isn't happy, you're not going to do a good job raising that child, especially if it has special needs. If a special needs child, man, your life will change severely to being 100% focused on the kid. Not that it is a bad thing, but something you have to seriously prepare for.

Whatever you decide, be sure about it, and believe it is best in your heart before you finalize your decision. I wish you not only good fortune, but peace with your decisions and the will to find the right one that is best for all of you.

[dranger7070]

If there's a serious chance she could be hurt permanently trying to carry this baby full term, my vote is now and always will be to terminate the pregnancy. We're both very young and can try again in the future if we decide to stay together. I don't want to see her kill herself just to carry it to full term when there's so little hope of the baby surviving anyways.

[Keith]

Dranger, that is the amniocentesis test that i refered to earlier that my wife and i had to decide whether to take or not. The conversation i had with my wife regarding the possible options facing us if it came back positive was the hardest one i've ever had. Neither of us really wanted to discuss it and you having to face it out of the blue is truly horrible . I feel for you .

[BankItDrew]

I hope nothing but the best for you Dr.

[d0zer]

I wasn't making light of dranger's situation which is tragic, I was making light of your conspiratorial thinking.

Dude, grow up. Didn't you hear that Keith has reproduced before, and googled a couple of symptoms so he's pretty damned qualified to play e-OB / maury povich here. You just don't get it because you lack his maturity.

Seriously Keith, you have very little information here to be fabricating drama from and filling dranger's head with this shit does him no good right now.

[daven]

Soo...

We can probably scrap this thread. She called me this afternoon after she left a doctor appointment crying saying that the baby is 1/2 the size it should be, her cervix is getting really weak and there's pretty much 0 chance she'll carry full term. And if she does, there's a good chance her uterine wall(?) will tear and kill her anyways...

Was fun to think about being a dad while it lasted I suppose...

I need a drink.

bro. Full on stuff. Best wishes to y'all. Feeling for ya. Roller coasters are insane trips. Take care

No chance in hell I'm abandoning her right now. She's had 5 months to get used to the idea of being a mom. I've only known for 5 days that I'm going to be a dad and I still feel utterly crushed.

i'm impressed

[boost]

dranger, I think I kinda misunderstood the update. This does not seem all that awesome anymore. I'm rooting for terminating the pregnancy too, but honestly more out of vicarious selfishness for you than for her sake. That might seem cold blooded, but this is quite the mess, and dodging this bullet would be pretty clutch.

[bikes]

+1 to ge00fish.

[OngBonga]

Life is fucking shit. Start smoking weed again imo.

[Chelle]

GL Dranger and Drangers gf

[Micro2Macro]

we will always love you no matter what happens

best of luck

[Luco]

best wishes dude no matter what happens

[Hoopy]

Very sorry for you dude, hope you pull through.

[Penneywize]

My love and best wishes for you are conditional on whether your coming actions adhere to my subjective standards.

jaykay

[supa]

Hey dranger, been working like crazy so I haven't had time to really read this thread and finally skimmed it for cliffs. Sorry you're going through all of this. There isn't any part of what I've read in this thread that I haven't gone through and it can be a massive head trip no matter how old you are, but at your age this shit can really fuck with you.

If I could give you any advice it would be to keep your chin up and ignore the haters. They fill your mind with nonsense and make it impossible to think straight. Fuck em. You can always hit me up on skype if you need a different perspective.

[Jack Sawyer]

we will always love you no matter what happens

best of luck

this, dude, this!

[rpm]

If I could give you any advice it would be to keep your chin up and ignore the haters. They fill your mind with nonsense and make it impossible to think straight. Fuck em.

+infinite. well said sir. best wishes to yourself and female, dranger.

[dranger7070]

Triflin'. Ass. Hoes.

'Nuff said.

[bigred]

Triflin'. Ass. Hoes.

'Nuff said.

Wat

[boost]

ya, we are gonna need more than that little teaser.

[dranger7070]

Was a slight overreaction on my part.

Got a text from her cousin saying the girl was in the hospital w/ labor pains and they ended up taking/losing the baby. Told my mom this and she proceeded to call the three hospitals in the city they were claiming she went to and each told her they had no record of anyone under that name being there.

Assumed she just lied to me about it, which pissed me off for obvious reasons. Main one being, why the fuck would you tell me about it if you were just going to blow me off on it in under two weeks w/ me being supportive?

Probably not the case tho. I expect to hear from her today.

[kiwiMark]

tell her you're pregnant

[BooG690]

tell her you're pregnant

With witty comments like this, there are times where I wouldn't mind impregnating you.

[kiwiMark]

but I had a friend who went through this, with the added mindfuck that the girl threw in that it was super unlikely she could ever have a baby and for the same unknown reason super unlikely the baby wouldn't have some kinda mental disability. hard not to be sexist some days I guess

[kiwiMark]

oh she was making it up if that wasn't clear

[supa]

tell her you're pregnant

[Luco]

I'd put your running shoes on

[Chelle]

Hmn. Im curious to know what happened with this.

[Luco]

I have a copy of the Two Towers (Lord of the Rings) book at home where, due to a misprint, the last 5 pages are missing.

Don't be that book.

[dranger7070]

I've pretty much given you guys the story. Have talked to the chick, she's fine. Don't know if we're going to pursue a relationship now or not. Probably not, but I'm sure I'll keep in touch with her.

=/

[Luco]

so she's no longer preggo?

[dranger7070]

She is not.

[eugmac]

Dranger, although this all hinges on whether or not everything she has said is true, how are you feeling about all this at the current moment? When you think that this was your child who died, does it make you feel fucked up? Is there a sense of relief in a twisted kind of way? I'm very curious.

[dranger7070]

The day I found out my guts were in a knot and I cried a good bit. The next day I did start to feel some relief, just because I know I'm still a big kid myself and I would have gone through some SERIOUS growing pains the fist 5 years of the kids life.

As of now, I'm sad that she lost it, mostly for her though. I had only found out I was 'the dad' 10 days prior so I'm not in shock about it or anything. The day it happened and the next I was pretty tore up about it, then I started thinking about some other stuff like 'now I won't have to work myself into an early grave just to be in debt up to my ass,' etc. Makes me feel like I an asshole, but fuck. I can't just sit around and just cry about it all day.

[d0zer]

sounds like you went through a reasonable grieving process, everything normal/std, no need to beat yourself up for anything. Now is the time to rebuild, and start crushing

[kickass]

I don't think that's really ass hole ish at all. As a father I can say I didn't really connect to the idea of being a dad till my first kid was born. I tried but it doesn't really feel real enough, even tho your trying hard to take on your parental duties and responsibilities. I think your a good guy and it's normal for you to be able to get on with your life, prolly a fuck ton harder for the mother.

[rong]

I agree with everything kickass just said.

[boost]

practice avoidance with this girl imo. She sounds like a complete headcase. It's pretty fucked up how she kept you out of the loop and didn't have you accompany her to hospital visits and stuff.

[bikes]

+1 to practice avoidance

[wufwugy]

Most people do not find meaning except through kids, yet most people have no burden greater than those kids

[rong]

It's neither burden nor meaning. It's just responsibility.

[d0zer]

it can be meaning and burden. I experience both.

[rong]

I don't understand the concept of meaning.

[Micro2Macro]

practice avoidance with this girl imo. She sounds like a complete headcase. It's pretty fucked up how she kept you out of the loop and didn't have you accompany her to hospital visits and stuff.

this

don't put up with her fucking shit imo. move on, you hit your 1 out on her not having this kid. thank fucking jesus for that. this may sound harsh and i get that you feel pain and stuff over this but you'll look back on this a couple years from now and sigh with relief that everything worked out for you.

[d0zer]

well all life is meaningless maybe probably who knows, so who cares anyway?

Since having a kid I find myself thinking about my long term goals in terms of the life it will provide my family. That's usually what people mean when they say "my kids give my life meaning". The problem of course is that if your life is meaningless without kids, what makes you think that your kid's life won't be meaningless also without kids, and then what's the point of constantly reproducing meaningless people, and what is the point of existence at all and blah blah etc philosophic mental masturbation.

[dranger7070]

M2m, imsighed with relief the day it happened. Just because I cried didnt mean I fistpumped in my brain a little bit. Im definitely still a kid and had nk intentions for having a kid til im ~30. That being said, im obviously willing to step up to the plate if it happens unexpectedly.

[dranger7070]

d0zer, we beed to have that convo baf sometime haha

[wufwugy]

Meaning is a subjective idea, thus meaninglessness only exists if it's believed to exist

My life would probably be much better if I had kids. I don't want them, but having responsibility for somebody else would drive me to be a good person. As it is now, my only drive is internal, and I don't have much internal drive for anything

[flomo]

So , did you make any videos?

[dranger7070]

Nahhhh.... should have snapped some pics tho

[eugmac]