Do you know Bill Brasky?

[UG]

[ open on interior, airport bar, group of salesmen laughing and drinking ]

First Friend of Brasky: Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch! Do you fellas know Bill Brasky?

Second Friend of Brasky: Hell yeah, I know Bill Brasky! He's a big fella, goes about 6'4", 280. He loves his Scotch!

Third Friend of Brasky: He does! He's a hell of a salesman!

Fourth Friend of Brasky: To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Third Friend of Brasky: Did you know Bill Brasky is the godfather of my son?

Fourth Friend of Brasky: Bill Brasky?

First Friend of Brasky: He's a big fella!

Second Friend of Brasky: Oh yeah, he's a big guy! Goes about 6'7", 385.

Third Friend of Brasky: Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Bill Brasky pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calimari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"

Fourth Friend of Brasky: And your son is blind to this day!

First Friend of Brasky: Yeah, he makes brooms somewhere in Georgia, doesn't he?

Third Friend of Brasky: I have no idea. [ pause ] To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Second Friend of Brasky: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky sold me into slavery?

First Friend of Brasky: Well, if you're talking about Bill Brasky, I believe it!

Second Friend of Brasky: Oh, yeah! He puts me on a ship to Thailand, right? And I'm chained to a pipe. Meanwhile, ol' Brasky, he's back in the States siring three beautiful children with my wife!

First Friend of Brasky: I hate Bill Brasky.. but I respect him!

Guy At Bar: Are you talking about Bill Brasky? I know Bill Brasky!

First Friend of Brasky: Then let me buy you a round!

Third Friend of Brasky: Hey, easy, Hank, easy.. To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Fourth Friend of Brasky: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky showed up at my daughter's wedding? You know my daughter, she's a beautiful girl.

First Friend of Brasky: I tell you, I'd like to have sex with her!

Fourth Friend of Brasky: Well, Brasky shows up.. and you know he's a big fella.

Third Friend of Brasky: Goes about 7'8", 530.

Fourth Friend of Brasky: Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Brasky! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries me and Brasky! [ the guys laugh ] Off! Off! Off! We spend the weekend in the Poconos - he loves me like I've never been loved before!

Second Friend of Brasky: Best damn salesman in the office!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Third Friend of Brasky: You know how Brasky served three tours in 'Nam?

Fourth Friend of Brasky: Uh-huh!

Third Friend of Brasky: Well, I'm in Corpus Christi on business a month ago, and I had this eight-foot tall Asian waiter.. which made me a little curious, so I asked him his name, and sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!

First Friend of Brasky: To William Robert Brasky!

Second Friend of Brasky: Oh, yeah!

Fourth Friend of Brasky: Hey, you ever go camping with Brasky?

Third Friend of Brasky: Many times.

First Friend of Brasky: I went camping with Brasky, his wife, and his daughter Debbie!

Third Friend of Brasky: Debbie Brasky?

First Friend of Brasky: Debbie Brasky. She's 7-years-old, goes about 3'5", 55 pounds. So, I'm in the back of a pickup with Bill Brasky and a live deer! Well, Brasky, he grabs the deer by the antlers, looks at it and says, "I'm Bill Brasky! Say it!" Then he squeezes the deer in such a way that a sound comes out of its mouth - "Billbrasky!" It wasn't exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer!

Third Friend of Brasky: That's Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Fourth Friend of Brasky: I once saw him eat a whole live chicken.

First Friend of Brasky: His favorite movie is "One on One" with Robby Benson.

Fourth Friend of Brasky: Bill Brasky once gave me a videotape of him having sex with my wife, and it was the most beautiful damn thing I ever saw!

Second Friend of Brasky: I have that tape!

Guy At Bar: [ turning around ] So do I!

Third Friend of Brasky: To Bill Brasky! A ten-foot-tall, two-ton son of a bitch who could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Big Booming Voice: [ from extremely tall figure in upper camera angle ] Did someone say Bill Brasky?

[ the guys get excited and raise their glasses in the air towards Bill Brasky ]

Together: Bill Brasky!!

[Spook]

OK, that was... different

[UG]

Apparently you just don't know who Bill Brasky is.

[Spook]

You would be right about that.

[UG]

Bill Brasky...He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!


Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta cheese.


Bill Brasky...He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!


Does any of that help? LOL

[iwa]

How about Brian Boytano?

[UG]

I'm surprised that nobody knows who Bill Brasky is...

Bill Brasky is a fictional character that was used in an SNL skit a few years back. It's one of the most hilarious skits ever (featuring Will Ferrell). I've seen threads like this where people know exactly who Bill Brasky is and they start telling made-up stories about the big dude....

Since nobody here knows him, though, I guess that makes this thread teh ghey...LOL...

How about Brian Boytano?

How about THAT'S WEAK.

[cartilago77]

I knew I had heard that name somewhere.

Playing in AC 2 months back and chatting with this guy who lived near me.

"Ever played with Bill Brasky?" he asks.

"MMM, geee, uhhh, I think so," I reply. "Boy, that name sounds familiar. I think I have before or I met him somewhere."

Guy rolls his eyes like like I am a retard (his best read of the day).


What happened to just asking for more cowbell?

[a500lbgorilla]

This thread preforms two functions for George.

He gets to talk about a hilarious SNL skit.

word_count++

Well done, sir.

-'rilla

[UG]

-Rilla, that wasn't my intent....I saw a similar post in another forum I belong to, thought it was hilarious, and figured I'd post something like it here.

Sorry if it was not teh funny that I thought it could be.

I'll go sit in a corner now.

[iwa]

Brian Boytano was in the alps fighting grizzly bears.

[UG]

Brian Boytano was in the alps fighting grizzly bears.

That's a little better.

[FyrFytr998]

Brian Boytano was in the alps fighting grizzly bears.

That's nothing. One time I was being harassed by some dude. I think his name was Bill Brasky. Well either way, I was like, "Dude! Leave me alone. There's no fucking way I'm giving you my last Oreo." And he was like, " I'm Bill Brasky bitch. You'll do as I say."

Then all of the sudden dude just falls on his face. And to my surprise. Brian Boytano heard me being harassed and snuck up behind the Brasky dude and gave him the Flying Camel Toe. Knocked him clean out.

Brain was like, "Are you okay, sugarlips?" And I was like, "Dude! Don't even go there. I love the meat curtains." And he was like, "Oh? What a shame."

And after a longing stare at me he throws some pixie dust in the air and does one of those Peggy Flemming supersonic teleport spins. And poof!! He was gone as fast as he came. So I peed on Brasky's head and got the hell out of dodge.

[Humphrind]

I know Brasky. Never thought he was that funny.

But FyrFytr is damn funny.