When I first joined I was playing 2nl and was hella bad. Pretty sure one of my first posts was getting a royal flush and basically checking it down just so I could show villains I got a royal flush. I got raked over hot coals for posting that hand lol
i already had a kid when I joined the forum so it feels like I was playing a lot of poker back then, but nowhere near what some of the college kids were putting in for hours.

i grinded to 25nl but moved back down pretty quickly. Lost 4 BIs on a swing and was terrified of the stakes so I moved to 10nl, and the games got nittier after that as the US players had been given the boot. I had two kids by then and just lost interest in playing.

I never stopped thinking about it. I love playing, I wish i could have been good enough to play 100nl or even 50nl. I put a lot of time into it (as much as I could spare) and couldn’t stay at 25nl long term.

I just started playing again a month ago after probably 8 year hiatus on line and it’s not like it used to be but I still enjoy it. I like the competition and having to work my brain. But the game is terrible for mood. I lost at the home game two nights ago and I was off for over 24hours. Grouchy. The players were terrible and I just couldn’t figure out how to beat them and that’s what pisses me off. I should have walked out a winner but didn’t. That’s my struggle with tilt/doubt.

I think I can understand the issues with depression and playing poker. Playing Lots of poker essentially turns you into a hermit which is tough on depression. And running bad/tilt would make it worse.