One type of violence is acceptable to further the story, another isn't. Ok, I think this is a poor stance, but fine-- Oh, wait, that forbidden type of violence is acceptable so long as the source material included it? Let me get this straight. Diverging from the source material, as has been done plenty (from what I understand): Ok. Depicting a specific type of rape: Ok. Diverging from the source material in a way that ends up depicting that exactly same specific rape scenario: Resolutely NOT OK!
I really think you need to step back and acknowledge that Daenerys' rape aired before the phrase "rape culture" was coined, and Sansa's took place after. That is why people are upset at the writers. Being upset by the scene makes sense. Being upset at the writers does not make sense. If you continue to stand by the narrative decision to have Daenerys be raped as the result of a politically motivated arranged marriage, but condemn the same situation involving Sansa, I don't think you're up for a rational discussion of the latter.
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