yeah I mean if there's one thing that's certain, the northern lords are all basically worthless except for Lyanna Mormont, who probably represents the smallest fiefdom but is the bravest and smartest of them all (not saying much).
Sansa is 100% going to make the crucial play somewhere along the way, for good or ill, and to her own gain.
Because of its strategic/symbolic importance, whoever controls Winterfell basically controls the North, you can't "rule" it in absentia.