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Hey is this coffee maker worth a damn?

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  1. #1
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Default Hey is this coffee maker worth a damn?

    http://www.amazon.com/Keurig-112276-...pr_product_top

    I don't know anything about this shit holla at me
  2. #2
    It makes coffee, and is therefore a complete waste of money, energy and resources. Buy something that makes tea.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  3. #3
    rong's Avatar
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  4. #4
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    You're a piece of shit stop talking about gay ass tea

    Edit: jk don't ban me bro
  5. #5
    Lukie's Avatar
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    Personally I won't spend $100 on a coffee maker, just like I won't spend $500 on a blender.

    It's more about principal than the money.
  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    You're a piece of shit
    Indeed you are correct.

    stop talking about gay ass tea
    You're out of fucking line here though.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  7. #7
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    It's a gift for the chick I'm dating and will be +EV in the long run, I don't even drink the shit
  8. #8
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Indeed you are correct.



    You're out of fucking line here though.
    lol wp
  9. #9
    Lukie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    It's a gift for the chick I'm dating and will be +EV in the long run, I don't even drink the shit
    A lot of people really like and are really happy with the Keurigs. It's a good present.
  10. #10
    They are great for someone that drinks one or two coffees a day, and yes they make tea too. They use individual cups. My family all use them but at about 40 cents a cup they aren't that great for me. I like a lot more coffee and a real coffee pot brewer is what I use. ( Or a french press on weekends.

    If you want fancy coffees like lattes and ice coffee's then the Tassimo is probably better. But the Kuerig is the best machine to make one cup of coffee or tea at a time.
  11. #11
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    I already have a coffee maker, but sometimes I have to hit it a few times to get her running right without making a lot of noise
  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    It's a gift for the chick I'm dating and will be +EV in the long run, I don't even drink the shit
    Oh in which case please accept my apologies for my tone.

    Ok, well I suggest you don't worry about the efficiency or value of said item, and instead focus on its colour, as that's what's important to women in my experience. If it's going in the bedroom, then it should match the duvet and curtains, while if it's going in the kitchen, then it should match her smartphone.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  13. #13
    lol tea

    Lord Ongbongington III has got his todgers all mixed up in a gobby
  14. #14
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Oh in which case please accept my apologies for my tone.

    Ok, well I suggest you don't worry about the efficiency or value of said item, and instead focus on its colour, as that's what's important to women in my experience. If it's going in the bedroom, then it should match the duvet and curtains, while if it's going in the kitchen, then it should match her smartphone.
    lol it's cool man

    what the hell is colour
  15. #15
    French press is where it's at. Simple, easy to clean, dependable, no consumables aside from grounds.
  16. #16
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    yeah obama owes me one of those too bc lolgubment

    also apparently it sucks http://gizmodo.com/5868602/why-you-s...a-french-press

    Edit:

    Last edited by spoonitnow; 11-30-2013 at 02:18 PM.
  17. #17
    rong's Avatar
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    Wtf is a French press? (goes to Google)
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  18. #18
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    some gay shit for people who like drinking coffee that sucks apparently

    i'm like a hipster weatherman baby i knew it was hot before it was cool
  19. #19
    "oh no, there's a tiny bit of grounds in the bottom of my cup! OH THE HUMANITY!"

    Get. The. Fuck. Outta. Here.
  20. #20
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    hey man when something sucks shit it sucks shit

    bitches be like i wanna drink coffee, not eat it
  21. #21
    rong's Avatar
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    Oh, a cafetiere.

    That's what I use at home. But I got an upgrade in a hotel a few months back (first upgrade ever in anything) and I had my own nespresso machine in my room with a selection of different pods. It was delicious and so quick and easy. I'll buy one eventually.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  22. #22
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    started from the bottom now he's here
  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    "oh no, there's a tiny bit of grounds in the bottom of my cup! OH THE HUMANITY!"

    Get. The. Fuck. Outta. Here.
    coffee, already being one of the healthier products one can consume, gets healthier with a little grounds

    given all the alcoholics around here, coffee should be mandatory. you know, all dose liver benefits
  24. #24
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    where are your other 10000 words

    p.s. coffee tastes like shit idk how anyone drinks that shit
  25. #25
    in ur mum's butt
  26. #26
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    in the words of the great chinese philosopher r kelly, touche my nigga
  27. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    p.s. coffee tastes like shit idk how anyone drinks that shit
    you're using too much water

    and possibly drinking it cold
  28. #28
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    you're using too much water

    and possibly drinking it cold
    no it just tastes like shit
  29. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    what the hell is colour
    Bastardise has no z in it.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  30. #30
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    no but your mouth has a cock in it

    i'm jk i'm fucking borderline manic atm

    my girl has this fucking cunt hipster friend and i'm trying to figure out what to get her and her yankee fiance for christmas, i hate them both
  31. #31
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyms View Post
    They are great for someone that drinks one or two coffees a day, and yes they make tea too. They use individual cups. My family all use them but at about 40 cents a cup they aren't that great for me. I like a lot more coffee and a real coffee pot brewer is what I use. ( Or a french press on weekends.
    This.

    The disposable pouches of coffee are extremely overpriced, so be sure to get her a re-usable coffee filter for it.

    Keureg will make the standard, American, watered-down mess* that most people are familiar with as a beverage. Most of the people I know who've used the Keureg are happy with it.

    * note: In my experience, the Keureg can not produce a strong (read palatable) cup of coffee.

    If she likes to order Greek, Turkish, or another foreign coffee when you go to a restaraunt, then the Keureg can not recreate that (In my experience).
  32. #32
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    you are aware that this is america, right?

    who the fuck drinks greek coffee, what is that made out of like ground up goat brains or something?

    edit: ps f obama

    this christmas gift buying shit stressed me the FUCK out
    Last edited by spoonitnow; 11-30-2013 at 02:50 PM.
  33. #33
    somebody gave me a percolator so i use it and i'm happy with it. tastes way better than drip filter machines to me. french press tastes probably marginally better.
    http://www.google.de/imgres?safe=off...24&tx=62&ty=36

    coffee snobs will tell you percs are the worst way to brew coffee. fuck them.
  34. #34
    spoon is crushing so hard ITT.
  35. #35
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    i'm blacker than you

    edit: from the waist down

    also i've rediscovered bloons td omfg so good
  36. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    spoon is crushing so hard ITT.
    also this
  37. #37
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    One of these should suffice

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  38. #38
    even though the principle is the same as my percolator i linked to, i never really liked the taste of the coffee out of those.
  39. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    also i've rediscovered bloons td omfg so good
    monkey city
  40. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    started from the bottom now he's here
    Lol
  41. #41
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Black, straight, 6 centacup coffee. The workingman's drink.

    All else limps the wrists.
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  42. #42
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    And com-mon

    You don't need to know anything about coffee to sniff out the scam. They want to wrap you into buying their single serve brews on the back of the snap-click convenience. If you don't brew a pot in the morning, only want one serving, and can't get your cup on the economy scale, then you should be looking this way. Otherwise, shitty coffee and great coffee is like shitty scotch and great scotch. They taste different, but they get you to the same place.
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  43. #43
    Preach Rilla, I'm on your side brother
  44. #44
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla View Post
    And com-mon

    You don't need to know anything about coffee to sniff out the scam. They want to wrap you into buying their single serve brews on the back of the snap-click convenience. If you don't brew a pot in the morning, only want one serving, and can't get your cup on the economy scale, then you should be looking this way. Otherwise, shitty coffee and great coffee is like shitty scotch and great scotch. They taste different, but they get you to the same place.
    The goal was to get a single-serve situation going in the first place soo....
  45. #45
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    I bet you get manicures.
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  46. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    The goal was to get a single-serve situation going in the first place soo....
    Can't you just get her a bigger mug, then?

    EDIT:
    Just write "Coffee Mug" on the pot.
  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla View Post
    I bet you get manicures.
    I don't even wipe my ass when I take a shit
  48. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    my girl has this fucking cunt hipster friend and i'm trying to figure out what to get her and her yankee fiance for christmas, i hate them both
    How about personal urns? http://www.cremationsolutions.com/Pe...shes-c109.html
  49. #49
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    In that price range the only ones that are decent are the nespresso ones. Sorry but truth in advertising etc. Anything else sub $500, you might as well piss straight in her mouth; cut out the middle man.
    Other than that: french press is the way to go.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  50. #50
    i'd buy my bitch a coffee maker only if i get to cream in it.
  51. #51
    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    In that price range the only ones that are decent are the nespresso ones. Sorry but truth in advertising etc. Anything else sub $500, you might as well piss straight in her mouth; cut out the middle man.
    Other than that: french press is the way to go.
    What you're missing here is women. A women would much prefer a cheap crappy coffee machine then you directly pissing in her mouth.


    Effort goes a long way.

    #SavyTipOnGettingBirds
  52. #52
    nespresso machines make surprisingly good coffee, but you have to first prefer espresso-type coffe instead of filter-type coffee, which i suspect isn't the case?

    also i can't personally justify the massive waste of packaging and so on that is involved with those nespresso capsules.
  53. #53
    drinking my overextracted, hearty, strong, black, percolator coffee. <3
  54. #54
    rong's Avatar
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    I think we'd all be better off without coffee in our lives. I mean I love coffee and drink a lot of it, but I need it to function now. It's like I now need food, shelter, air and coffee. Cigarettes are the same (aside from killing you), arguably sex and masturbation could be put in the same category.

    The point being all of those things become needs that need to be satisfied and removing a need would make life simpler.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  55. #55
    ^ fuck this.

    or go shave your head and get yourself a saffran coloured robe
  56. #56
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oskar View Post
    In that price range the only ones that are decent are the nespresso ones. Sorry but truth in advertising etc. Anything else sub $500, you might as well piss straight in her mouth; cut out the middle man.
    Other than that: french press is the way to go.
    no one has given a shit about your opinion since like 08

    Quote Originally Posted by TheLongGrind View Post
    i'd buy my bitch a coffee maker only if i get to cream in it.
    dude i get it in like you don't even know

    Quote Originally Posted by ImSavy View Post
    What you're missing here is women. A women would much prefer a cheap crappy coffee machine then you directly pissing in her mouth.


    Effort goes a long way.

    #SavyTipOnGettingBirds
    you're right in this instance, but your head is in the wrong place, if you pissed on her because you wanted to without getting it in her face, then she would respect you more than if you asked timidly if you could piss on her
  57. #57
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    oh and thanks for the suggestions everyone, i went with the one in the OP and have been assured that this is a solid purchase by a couple of broads who like that sort of thing

    happy holidays and all that other politically correct shit
  58. #58
    oskar's Avatar
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    Joking aside, what makes nespresso decent is that they have standardized pumps and the capsules are properly sealed. You should be able to get the same result for less money if you buy good freshly ground coffee and store it in the freezer. What makes most other automates shit is simply the stale coffee people put in it.


    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    no one has given a shit about your opinion since like 08
    That would make two of us.
    Last edited by oskar; 12-01-2013 at 04:22 PM.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  59. #59
    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    I think we'd all be better off without coffee in our lives. I mean I love coffee and drink a lot of it, but I need it to function now. It's like I now need food, shelter, air and coffee. Cigarettes are the same (aside from killing you), arguably sex and masturbation could be put in the same category.

    The point being all of those things become needs that need to be satisfied and removing a need would make life simpler.
    Coffee makes you smarter. And happier. And possibly was responsible for the American Revolution. French one too. That didn't work out so well though
  60. #60
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    I think we'd all be better off without coffee in our lives. I mean I love coffee and drink a lot of it, but I need it to function now. It's like I now need food, shelter, air and coffee. Cigarettes are the same (aside from killing you), arguably sex and masturbation could be put in the same category.

    The point being all of those things become needs that need to be satisfied and removing a need would make life simpler.
    I like how the zen choice is abstention. As opposed to embracing the need and the grogginess like a legless dog embraces a wheel-mount or a fat man should embrace hunger.

    Just drink coffee or don't and don't bullshit yourself like you need it to function. It's just coffee.
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  61. #61
    rong's Avatar
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    Well, if you don't drink much coffee then when you do you get a perk. But you build up a tolerance and an addiction which has withdrawal symptoms. So I guess it boils down to whether the tolerance means a cup now brings you to neutral or still gives you a perk, albeit a reduced one.

    And then you have the reduced perk to offset against the withdrawal symptoms. I don't know if you're better off being a caffeine addict or non-coffee drinker.

    I embrace the coffee, nicotine etc addiction and enjoy it. But that doesn't make my position optimal.
    I'm the king of bongo, baby I'm the king of bongo bong.
  62. #62
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  63. #63
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rong View Post
    I embrace the coffee, nicotine etc addiction and enjoy it. But that doesn't make my position optimal.
    Everyone gets to live 1 lifetime between being born and dying. No more, no less.

    No one knows how or when they're going to die.

    It would be a damn shame if you lived your life sacrificing your joy of today for a secure tomorrow... then died young.

    Some balance is optimal. Finding ways to take cathartic joy in your life, whether through coffee, sex, adrenaline, drugs, etc. is optimal so long as it doesn't become a distraction from your greater goals.

    ...

    Or the use of the word optimal is just madness in this context.

    Moderation in everything... even moderation.
  64. #64
    Kuerig coffee is almost always too weak imo, get a grind and brew
  65. #65
    I adore my french press, but I tend to drink one large very strong coffee per day (in the morning) and then switch to tea and water later in the day.

    I've heard that aero-press is the the abso-best from people that really know coffee. http://www.amazon.com/Aerobie-AeroPr.../dp/B0047BIWSK

    hth.
    So you click their picture and then you get their money?
  66. #66
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    Everyone gets to live 1 lifetime between being born and dying. No more, no less.

    No one knows how or when they're going to die.

    It would be a damn shame if you lived your life sacrificing your joy of today for a secure tomorrow... then died young.

    Some balance is optimal. Finding ways to take cathartic joy in your life, whether through coffee, sex, adrenaline, drugs, etc. is optimal so long as it doesn't become a distraction from your greater goals.
    I want to get drunk and high, and have sex with this statement. I'm trying to find a better balance of this, as I've clearly been living the greater part of the last year a little too close to the flame... It still is a lot of fun, but when it interferes with the greater life goals it's really shitty. Trying to get back to a balanced point is one of the most mentally and emotionally taxing things I've ever done.
    So you click their picture and then you get their money?
  67. #67
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    no but your mouth has a cock in it

    i'm jk i'm fucking borderline manic atm

    my girl has this fucking cunt hipster friend and i'm trying to figure out what to get her and her yankee fiance for christmas, i hate them both
    Give them your gf's old coffee maker.

    Also fuck you I don't have a cock in my mouth.

    Also jk, I do really. Your Mom's.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  68. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    I already have a coffee maker, but sometimes I have to hit it a few times to get her running right without making a lot of noise
    my girlfriend gets grumpy when i talk about her like this
    nh sir
  69. #69
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  70. #70
    I have one of these and make all kinds of shit with it. Anything that you need Hot water for.
    Ramen Noodles
    Coffee - I use a local coffee roaster with a reusable gold filter
    Tea - I use my own bags
    Oatmeal
    Hot Choclate
    3 3 3 I'm only half evil.
  71. #71
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    cool thanks mrhappy

  72. #72
    Quote Originally Posted by kingnat View Post

    I've heard that aero-press is the the abso-best from people that really know coffee. http://www.amazon.com/Aerobie-AeroPr.../dp/B0047BIWSK

    hth.
    I have this to. Love it. When I said french press earlier I was actually referring to my aeropress
  73. #73
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    FedEx dropped it off at my neighbor's house because they're fucking idiots who can't read numbers, and my neighbor's cool (and a total fucking milf) so she brought it over. Thank fuck she didn't just keep it. My girlfriend ended up seeing it because I'm a dumbass who didn't hide the box, so I just said fuck it and let her have it early. She played with it last night and absolutely loves it. Her cunt friend who I hate is super fucking jealous.
  74. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow View Post
    Results:

    FedEx dropped it off at my neighbor's house because they're fucking idiots who can't read numbers, and my neighbor's cool (and a total fucking milf) so she brought it over. Thank fuck she didn't just keep it. My girlfriend ended up seeing it because I'm a dumbass who didn't hide the box, so I just said fuck it and let her have it early. She played with it last night and absolutely loves it. Her cunt friend who I ate is super fucking jealous.
    don't know why but this is how I read it as.
  75. #75
    Imma go make some coffee with my french press to wash down these freedom fries I'm eating.

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