I feel so fucked up right now, and need to get this all off my chest so you guys get no choice

I went out this this girl for 2 years in highschool, we had a great time and we both really love/d each other. This year I went away to school and she is only a junior in highschool so we decided to break up when I went away to college. We talked a lot of the phone and hung out when I came home but nothing really major just hanging out and maybe a lil kiss here and there.

Well I came home from school for X-mas break and Sunday something happened and we were all over each other and it felt great and we had a good time. Monday night we went to a movie and we decided we would gte back together and see how things went. Last night she came over and I helped her with some homework and we fooled around some and then she got really upset about what was going to happen with me leaving and stuff. So we talked before she left and I reassured her and stuff and I thought we were cool.

So later that night I called her and she was really upset and said she didnt know if she could handle the stress of us being together and being apart(she has always had really bad anxiety, she didnt have the best childhood experiences) she pretty much said she wanted to be with me but not be a couple but be friends with benefits like we had been on Sunday.

I pretty much told her I couldnt do that because of how bad us just being friends had fucked me up while I was at school(one week we would be tight the next we would be fighting and shit.) I pretty much told her I either want a relationship or to not have her in my life so I can get over my feelings for her. I love her so much but I dont know what I need to or should do...

Anyone ever have a similar experience and can give some insight?

And please no immature responses I am more of trying to get this off my chest and looking for any insight.


After I get off work today we are gona talk so I will see how that goes too.