Japanese Monkey Workers

[WillburForce]

BBC NEWS | Special Reports | Monkeys work in Japanese restaurant

Gotta love the crazy Japanese

[rong]

I want one as a slave. I've always wanted a slave, but due to silly laws it seems monkeys may be my only hope. But really, if you think about it, slaves make sense, or at least slave labour. I get a poor, foreign, unemployed and starving individual as a slave, they get a shed to live in, a garden sprinkler system as a shower, basic rations to eat and 1 hour leisure time per day. It's a win win situation. Perato efficiency ftw.

[rong]

I'm in Thailand again in Feb, maybe I should try and import some. It seems if you marry them first its legal, I think this is unfair as it forces women into marriage.

[oskar]

I don't usually +rep posts, but when I do it's for inclement political incorrectness.

[Luco]

If you pay soy beans, you get monkeys

[rong]

Your right, that is racist, I'm sorry English people, I shan't restrict your employment opportunities at this difficult time, I'll take on poor, hungry and homeless English slaves too. Equal opportunities ftw.

[OngBonga]

Dan, aren't you in Cornwall? I'll be a poor, hungry and homeless English slave if it gets me out of fucking Kidderminster. I want weekends off though, and four weeks holiday a year, and you have to provide me with weed and cider. Then we're onto a winner.

[TheLongGrind]

concerning slaves.I always wanted a poor uneducated midget slave. If i ever get to be a big baller in poker or win euromillions, which is more likely, then i'll simply buy myself 2 midget slaves. They'll get to live in a small cozy garden house. I'll give them supercute service maid outfits and i'll let them sign a contract in which they forfeit the right to sue me for abuse. Abuse in a non sexual but yet violent way. Nothing hardcore though just some good old fashioned belt whoopings. I don't want to permanently damage my midgets.

Next i'd invest in a high tech breeding farm house, so my midgets can multiply in a controlled environment. Obviously i'd hire some ex navy seals for security reasons. I've learned my lesson after having watched Spartacus. A midget rebellion could be devastating for my garden.

During festivities i'd invite all my friends and family for the annual midget auction so i can get some of my money back since midgets are high maintenance. They are prone to obesity and require alot of calories to fuel them. Owning a midget is like driving a hummer , it's fun but expensive.

[rong]

Dan, aren't you in Cornwall? I'll be a poor, hungry and homeless English slave if it gets me out of fucking Kidderminster. I want weekends off though, and four weeks holiday a year, and you have to provide me with weed and cider. Then we're onto a winner.

I don't think you're really grasping the role of a slave. TLG on the other hand seems to get it just fine. That's not to say he isn't weird, but he gets it.

[givememyleg]

this is awesome

[DoubleJ]

Belgians Rock!

[OngBonga]

Ok I'll settle for 3 weeks holiday, and a 4 hour shift on saturday, and sunday off. Final offer. Am I getting it yet?

[flomo]

My first slave will be named Coonter Cunter.

[TheLongGrind]

IF you've read my previous post i'd also like to add that i would create a deity for my midgets. I would create al sorts of religious festivities and traditions. It would be a mixture of hardcore fundamentalist christianity/islam/Jew stuff blended in with some ancient Aztec/voodoo stuff.

Every year BLARRGH will demand it's annual midget sacrifice. BLARRGH is represented by a huge ( 1 feet hi , we're talking midgets) stone statue with a widespread gaping mouth and sharp teeth. The statute would speak with a growling freaky voice ( cuz i rigged it) . The chosen midget will think it's an honor to be chosen by BLARRGH and walk into this pit of fire while praising BLARRGH This will keep my midgets in check.