mediocre puzzle

[celtic123]

After work , this guy gets on a Tube train in London . He normally meets his g/f at this tube station ,and they travel together and walk home together . But she was delayed this day , at the newspaper stand .

He gets on the tube without her and gets off at his home station , and walks home the usual way. normal pace etc.

The delayed g/f gets the later tube (same station) , and gets off at their home station , exactly the same a her b/f , and walks the same route as her b/f . She doesn't overtake her b/f , nor deviate from the normal route /pace etc .

When the b/f gets home, he finds the g/f there already . Alive and well, reading the previously purchased newspaper.

How was this possible ?

If you've heard of this riddle before, you're honor bound to say spoilers before you give the answer.

edited to clarify there are only 2 tube stations involed


.

[BennyLaRue]

They're siamese twins!!!

[Galapogos]

This sounds like a Brit describing a porn he saw once.

[rong]

They get on at differetn stations, and meet at the home station, normnally she hangs around for fucking ages to wait for him so they can walk home together.

[celtic123]

They get on at differetn stations, and meet at the home station, normnally

They get on at same station ,daily, she missed the first tube, got the later one.

[boost]

She caught the express train...

[Halv]

He works at the news stand?

[celtic123]

She caught the express train...

Nope . It was the next station. no-way the train could overtake. No delays , nothing unusual.

[celtic123]

He works at the news stand?

No , its irrelevant , they both work near the station.

[Halv]

He was even more delayed than her, for unknown reasons like maybe he worked at a news stand and some stupid bitch wanted to buy a newspaper at the last minute.

Im not giving up on the news stand.

[kiwiMark]

boyfriend's a pimp

[Halv]

The cunt stopped on her way to work to pick up a newspaper and was so delayed that she said fuck it and went back home instead of going to work.

[celtic123]

Im not giving up on the news stand.

If he worked at the news stand , this puzzle wouldnt exist .

It was 5.05 in the evening , peak time to be selling newspaper. If he quit the stand now , they could lose their flat .

Secondly , he was a nice guy, would have brought the newspaper home for his g/f for free.

[Halv]

I don't think "mediocre" means what you think it means.

[Duffryn]

Is the answer to do with the underground line (Victoria, Jubilee etc) they normally take?

[celtic123]

Is the answer to do with the underground line (Victoria, Jubilee etc) they normally take?

Yes. The stations are relevant.

[Duffryn]

Hmmm thanks. I think I know the answer then. Won't post as others won't have seen it yet.

[kiwiMark]

if this requires specific knowledge of the london underground system I'm gonna kill a female child

[celtic123]

if this requires specific knowledge of the london underground system I'm gonna kill a female child

NO ! HOLD THAT KNIFE BACK.

No knowledge of London underground needed .

This mediocre puzzle could be based at train / tube stations around the globe.

[Halv]

Oh great, I just wasted 40 minutes researching the london subway.

[BennyLaRue]

Did he go around the whole loop like a gimp?

[celtic123]

Oh great, I just wasted 40 minutes researching the london subway.

Time well spent . You must be on the brink of solving this.

[philly and the phanatics]

yea is benny right? did he just go aroudn the whole loop?

[CoccoBill]

NO ! HOLD THAT KNIFE BACK.

No knowledge of London underground needed .

This mediocre puzzle could be based at train / tube stations around the globe.

Well not just anywhere, in fact I'm not aware of other lines that do a Circle.

[celtic123]

yea is benny right? did he just go aroudn the whole loop?

Nope , got off next stop.

[OngBonga]

Erm... perhaps the train that dropped off MAN dumped him on platform 6, which is an extra 6 minutes walk to home, and the BITCH train arrived 4 minutes later, dropping her off on platform 1, gaining her two minutes.

Sounds like MAN is a bit of a tosser to me, I mean how much of a ballache is it to wait around for an extra couple of minutes?

[rong]

Well not just anywhere, in fact I'm not aware of other lines that do a Circle.

I think Melbourne has one.

[celtic123]

Erm... perhaps the train that dropped off MAN dumped him on platform 6, which is an extra 6 minutes walk to home, and the BITCH train arrived 4 minutes later, dropping her off on platform 1, gaining her two minutes.

Sounds like MAN is a bit of a tosser to me, I mean how much of a ballache is it to wait around for an extra couple of minutes?

Yea . Near enough. Except train took 3 minutes.

Man got on front of first train. Woman got on back of second train .

They lived nearer the back of train , so she got home first .Didn't put dinner on.so he punched her hard.

[BennyLaRue]

yea is benny right? did he just go aroudn the whole loop?

Damn straight I'm right. This is how it ends:

*funny, skinny door to the flat opens*

Man (sullen, like 40% Eeyore and 60% bored John Lennon): 'Ello.

Woman (crotchety, like Eric Idle when he does drag): Where the devil 'ave you been?

Man (still sullen): I been ridin the Tube.

Woman (crotchety): The Tube?

Man (still sullen): Yeah, the Tube. I been goin round 'n round.

Woman (crotchety): Why'd you do that? I fink you were at the pub, wasn't you? I just read in dis 'ere newspaper divorces are down 50% since we got Labour out. You should be 'appy.

Man (still sullen): No, it's not that. I think I'm depressed.

Woman (crotchety): Depressed. Oooo, he's depressed. Yes, dere must be a lot a pressure on you, what with keepin up on all the football scores and how many pints you've 'ad, rememberin all that which you fanny about wit...

Man (still sullen): I remember when you loved me. *leaves back out the funny, skinny door*

Aaaaand...scene.

[BennyLaRue]

Yea . Near enough. Except train took 3 minutes.

Man got on front of first train. Woman got on back of second train .

They lived nearer the back of train , so she got home first .Didn't put dinner on.so he punched her hard.

You owe Kiwi two hours of his life back.

[Halv]

Yea . Near enough. Except train took 3 minutes.

Man got on front of first train. Woman got on back of second train .

They lived nearer the back of train , so she got home first .Didn't put dinner on.so he punched her hard.

So it took the man longer to walk the length of the train than it took the next train to arrive?

Benny's solution is clearly superior. LDO

[OngBonga]

Wow, I thought I was taking the piss.

[OngBonga]

Damn straight I'm right. This is how it ends:

*funny, skinny door to the flat opens*

Man (sullen, like 40% Eeyore and 60% bored John Lennon): 'Ello.

Woman (crotchety, like Eric Idle when he does drag): Where the devil 'ave you been?

Man (still sullen): I been ridin the Tube.

Woman (crotchety): The Tube?

Man (still sullen): Yeah, the Tube. I been goin round 'n round.

Woman (crotchety): Why'd you do that? I fink you were at the pub, wasn't you? I just read in dis 'ere newspaper divorces are down 50% since we got Labour out. You should be 'appy.

Man (still sullen): No, it's not that. I think I'm depressed.

Woman (crotchety): Depressed. Oooo, he's depressed. Yes, dere must be a lot a pressure on you, what with keepin up on all the football scores and how many pints you've 'ad, rememberin all that which you fanny about wit...

Man (still sullen): I remember when you loved me. *leaves back out the funny, skinny door*

Aaaaand...scene.

This is bollocks. The first thing MAN would say is...

"Hello love, put the kettle on would you please"

Then MAN would put his feet up, smoke whatever he smokes, and say nothing until WOMAN has brought him tea.

Then the scene described above might happen.

[BennyLaRue]

Poor fucker is too depressed even for tea.

[OngBonga]

Poor fucker is too depressed even for tea.

There is no such Englishman. He must be Scottish. That's why he's depressed, he's a heroin addict and has ginger hair.

[BennyLaRue]

No way, man. I just read High Fidelity. It's all about guys making each other tea. Not a single cup made by a woman.

[celtic123]

Men make cups. Women make tea.

[BennyLaRue]

Hmmm...are you saying I can't believe works of fiction? What about calling sweaters "jumpers"? You guys do that?

[OngBonga]

Wait what, you guys really call jumpers "sweaters"?

[BennyLaRue]

Wait what, you guys really call jumpers "sweaters"?

Because they make you...jump?

[OngBonga]

Yes, and trousers make me trouse.

[BennyLaRue]

No, they don't. Trouse is a noun. LEARN THE LANGUAGE.

[OngBonga]

I bet you had to look up "trouse" too.

[celtic123]

We play football , you play throw and catch ball . Wearing enlarged outfits . To make you more fearsome or to stop you getting hurt ?

[OngBonga]

We play football , you play throw and catch ball . Wearing enlarged outfits . To make you more fearsome or to stop you getting hurt ?

If you're going to mock the Yanks for padding themselves up like girls, don't compare it to football, where the players roll around, clutching their ankles, like girls. Compare it to rugby.

[BennyLaRue]

We play football , you play throw and catch ball . Wearing enlarged outfits . To make you more fearsome or to stop you getting hurt ?

Seriously, this is the best you can do? We're talking about trousers and you get all touretty with football vs. football? At least OngBonga can stay on topic.

[celtic123]

Seriously, this is the best you can do? We're talking about trousers and you get all touretty with football vs. football? At least OngBonga can stay on topic.

Yes , that's my best shot . And there is nothing in reserve.

[BennyLaRue]

I guess I'm done with this thread. You wrecked it.

[kevster]

Yea . Near enough. Except train took 3 minutes.

Man got on front of first train. Woman got on back of second train .

They lived nearer the back of train , so she got home first .Didn't put dinner on.so he punched her hard.

This is utter shit. Unless the man is as retarded as you why would he walk to the front of the train to get on when he knew they lived near the back?

[profnabeshin]

She normally gets off work hours before him, and waits for him. (maybe she is afraid of going home alone or something) Being delayed she decided not to wait for him and was still able to take an earlier train than the husband.

[celtic123]

This is utter shit. Unless the man is as retarded as you why would he walk to the front of the train to get on when he knew they lived near the back?

Get with the plot. london under ground !!!
You can't pick and choose where you sit.

[kiwiMark]

No knowledge of London underground needed .

Get with the plot. london under ground !!!

[Halv]

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to celtic123 again."

Get working ppl, time for the first (?) double red imo!

[BennyLaRue]

Get working ppl, time for the first (?) double red imo!

No, Shotglass was green and then got 3 reds in about 10 minutes for bumping the STOP BUMPING thread prematurely.

[Halv]

First quadruple red then?

[BennyLaRue]

I appreciate a man with a goal.

[Duffryn]

I thought that the answer was that the guy got the normal tube and the g/f got the next tube but that was a different line which had fewer stops to the destination. Multiple ways to get from place to place on many parts of the London Underground. Seems better than the actual answer to me.

[OngBonga]

It's also possible that the woman's train passed through a wormhole, therefore her train arrived at its destination before if picked her up.

Another explanation is that the MAN stopped off at the pub, or local massage parlour.

Or maybe the woman's train went in a straight line, ignoring the curvature of the Earth, while the man's train took the more standard route over land.

[Halv]

except the pub/massage options all of these are specific to the london underground afaik

[boost]

lynch celtic.

[Duffryn]

So B/F gets off at the front of the train. It's the rush hour so a scrum of people fight to get on his tube. It closes its doors, departs, the next tube arrives and G/F manages to get off that tube before B/F has walked the length of the platform?

B/F is so far behind G/F that he can't even shout to her: Hey bitch how come you are in front of me, when I thought I left you behind?

Is the B/F on crutches? Is it a romantic story about a boy snail and a girl snail? Or are London Underground trains half a mile long? <- Specific knowledge of London Underground needed.

The important question is why didn't G/F put the paper down and bitch: Why are you so late? Did you stop off at that massage parlour again?

[BennyLaRue]

If X is the length of the home terminal platform and Y is the distance between Stop 1 (work terminal) and Stop 2 (home terminal) and Z is the distance between Stop 1 and House, it sounds like X>Z and these two idiots should have just walked.

Note: this is not real math. Let's not all forget the root point here, which is that this riddle was stupid.

The question becomes, would we do to get a newspaper from a living statue who might be a liar and says unh unh?

[Renton]

someone meme this

WORD PUZZLE THAT IS PROBABLY SOLVABLE DUE TO SOME WRITTEN TECHNICALITY

RIDDLED WITH SPELLING AND GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

[bikes]

[Halv]

meme quality fits puzzle quality!