What's the difference between a woman in the army and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball

Q: What's the difference between a Pregnant women and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew the light bulb.

What's the difference between a Porcupine and a Porsche?
A Porcupine has pricks on the outside.


Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn

Why did the man walk around with his fly open?
Just in case he needed to count to eleven.


If dog food tastes so bad, why do dogs eat it?
To get rid of the taste of their dicks

What's the difference between anal sex and a microwave oven?
The Microwave doesn't brown the meat
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What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 4 drinks.

Did you hear that O.J. Simpson is getting married again?
He wants to have another stab at it.

What do you call OJ Simpson, David Koresh, and Mike Tyson?
The butcher, the baker, the license plate maker

How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE! LET THE BITCH COOK IN THE DARK!


What did the first lesbian frog say to the second lesbian frog?
' Hmmm... We really do taste like chicken.'


What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a fireplace? Bernie.
An hour later? Ashley

A man and a woman were stranded in an elevator together and they knew they were gonna die. Then the woman turns to the man and says 'Make me feel like a woman before I die.' So he takes off his clothes and says 'Fold them!!'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't, there's a clock on the oven.

How many men does it take to mop the floor?
None, it's a woman's job!


What do you do when your wife tells you to replace a light bulb?|
Screw the bitch, she can do the dishes in the dark.

How are women like a postage stamps?
You lick 'em, stick 'em, and send them away.

How are women like floor tiles?
You lay 'em once and walk all over them the rest of your life.


What's the extra skin around the vagina called?
The woman.

Why do women get periods?
They deserve them.

How many men do you need to open a beer can?
None, the bitch who brings it should have opened it too.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
They don't have balls.

Why do women have orgasms?
It gives them something to moan about.

How are women like bowling balls?
You finger them, throw 'em down the gutter, and they come back for more.

Why did the woman have 2 black eyes?
She had to be told twice.

What do bungee jumping and sex with a prostitute have in common?
1) They both cost about $100.
2) They both last about 30 seconds.
3) And in both cases, if the rubber breaks, you're a dead man