Offical IRC quotes thread.

[mgobluefb]

[20:50] * elgrkn has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
[20:50] * LeFou has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
[20:50] * bmxicle has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
[20:50] * mo`badass-work has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
[20:50] * COOKERRR has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
[20:50] * JGB146 has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
[20:50] <mgobluefb> what just happened
[20:50] <Estrop> oh no
[20:50] <GeorgeSevenTables> all of those people are dead

[Estrop]

<vlle18> hi fag
<vlle18> i just learned shuffle with ch1ps!1111
<vlle18> I'M FUCKING MAGICIAN
<vlle18> a
<vlle18> eh
<scgolfer> you fuck magicains?
<vlle18> stfu
<vlle18> A
<BigRed> HAHA
<BigRed> ville is all like, hey you made my penis disappear
<scgolfer> ok you fuck a magician?
<vlle18> you're not doing that BigRed.
<BigRed> and the magician is all like, actually you're just that small
<vlle18> i hate you :<
<vlle18> you're too mean.

[a500lbgorilla]

<scgolfer> rilla why are you a homo?
<scgolfer> not that there is anything wrong with that
<a500lbgorilla> Becuase I love all of God's creatures. Equally.
<a500lbgorilla> And in the pooper.

-'rilla

[gabe]

<elgrkn> By the way, my package came today... 2 boxes of Sharpie markers, 24 total... 12 blue and 12 black... Not bad for $5... I usually pay $1-2 each at any stores around here.
<Estrop> what are you going to use them for?
<gutshot> why do u need 24 sharpies?
<elgrkn> Writing on things

[gabe]

<elgrkn> I also carry duct tape and 2 different sizes of paperclips

<CoxhEd> No ban?
<dwarfman> don't tempt me CoxhEd
<dwarfman>
* CoxhEd tempts
* CoxhEd was kicked by dwarfman (*dwarfman delivers)

5 minute pause

<dwarfman> erm, CoxhEd didn't come back
<arkana> so?
<dwarfman> we party
<dwarfman> like it's 1998
* CoxhEd has joined #flopturnriver
* ChanServ sets mode: +v CoxhEd
<CoxhEd> that was no ban!
<dwarfman> oh fuck
<dwarfman> party over

[CoxhEd]

Hahaha the servers wouldn't let me connect like usual, takes several times for it to find a working server.

[ake]

Try Reflex.UK.EU.GameSurge.net right now

Nevermind, I disconnected while typing this post

[CoxhEd]

Try Reflex.UK.EU.GameSurge.net right now

Nevermind, I disconnected while typing this post

I cannot, I am at work for another hour and a half.

[Estrop]

<ake|estrop> suck my cock
<ville18> or
* ake|estrop unzips
<ville18> "they were s00ted"
* ake|estrop pulls it out
<ville18> wow that's tiny
<ville18> how can u pee with that
* ake|estrop cries

[Sykedupp]

<scgolfer> rilla why are you a homo?
<scgolfer> not that there is anything wrong with that
<a500lbgorilla> Becuase I love all of God's creatures. Equally.
<a500lbgorilla> And in the pooper.

-'rilla

POTM baby!

-Chris

[Sykedupp]

o shit... i think i crashed IRC with my intense barrage of stupid comments ... silly me!

-Chris

* a500lbgorilla has joined #flopturnriver
* ChanServ sets mode: +v a500lbgorilla
<mgobluefb> si senor, el chico come la calle
<dwarfman> guten abend a500lbgorilla
<a500lbgorilla> Sorry, wrong channel.
* a500lbgorilla has quit IRC (Quit)

<StapleGun> test
<StapleGun> hmmm
<CaribOne|gervais> its crtl + b
<dwarfy`mid-session-interval> try ctrl+b
<CaribOne|gervais> not HTML
<StapleGun> oh ok
<CaribOne|gervais> ROFL

A cunning plan:

<StapleGun> i bet fnord gives bad advice in the forum then buddylist's the people and takes there money

[Staple Gun]

About the dude who won the Party Poker million...

<dwarfman> $27951.807228915662650602409638554 per hour
<dwarfman> jesus, he was making $0.08 every millisecond
<StapleGun> 244 million dollars a year
<mgobluefb> 20 mil per menstrual period

[Staple Gun]

<Estrop> Once I had a Royal Flush
<Estrop> and was beaten by a higher Royal Flush

[a500lbgorilla]

* Estrop has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<dwarfman> Estrop gone too
<dwarfman> i'll be next
<Estrop> yeah
<dwarfman> what the FUCK?

-'rilla

[Sykedupp]

<dwarfman> back later, dinner
* dwarfman is now known as dwarfy`dinner[MSTRBTNG]

-Chris

[Sykedupp]

Dwarfy was describing a spam email...

<dwarfman> topic: Horny pills - 75% off
<dwarfman> Hard erection
<dwarfman> Long lasting effects
<dwarfman> No prescription required
<dwarfman> Only $2.99/$1.99 per dose (2 doses in each pill):
<dwarfman> CIALIS - http://www.wonderpills.biz/sv/
<dwarfman> VIAGRA - http://www.wonderpills.biz/vt/
<dwarfman> Directly from the manufacturer!


I tried to sig it, but then...

<SykeduppTheTeacher> dwarfy
<SykeduppTheTeacher> lucky
<dodgerfan29> i think gmail gives away ur email address
<SykeduppTheTeacher> sig 2 long
<SykeduppTheTeacher>
<dwarfman> bwahaha
<SykeduppTheTeacher> w8 lemme take ur name off n put a shorter name on
<SykeduppTheTeacher> like
<SykeduppTheTeacher> ake
<dwarfman> good idea!
<ake> wtf
<ake> im still here
<ake> you asshole
<SykeduppTheTeacher> oh
<dodgerfan29> lmao
* ake was kicked by dwarfman (not anymore!)
* ake has joined #flopturnriver
* ChanServ sets mode: +v ake
<SykeduppTheTeacher> lmfao
<ake> I hate you guys


dwarfy = banned for spamming.
ake = PWNT.
Syke = godly as ever


-Chris

Prior to saying that:

<dwarfman> don't click the links, they could well be viruses

dwarfy = thoughtful as ever.

* homer- has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* mtbottle has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* CaribOne|chevy has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* Sykedupp has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* bair has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* thx has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* toe has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* sndp has quit IRC (*.net *.split)
* NewJack has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<dwarfman> oh great
<dwarfman> i'm in a room full of AFKers!
* dwarfman whistles
<dwarfman> dum di dum di dum
* dwarfman taps foot
* dwarfman looks at watch
<dwarfman> hmm
<dwarfman> wtf do i do now?
* dwarfman cries
<dwarfman> i'm so looonely
<dwarfman> ah fuck it
* Disconnected

[a500lbgorilla]

<Estrop> I'm making $-2.60 a hour
<Estrop> I'll be a millionaire in..
<arkana> last decade

-'rilla

[boost]

<Ripptyde> lemonparty rocks

[a500lbgorilla]

<Ripptyde> www.ratemypoo.com
<Ripptyde> its funny as shit

-'rilla

<Ripptyde> i need to start takin my cam phone into the john when I go to take a squirt...then I can submit it to ratemypoo and hey...who knows I might get 'poo of the month'

<Estrop> www.hardcoreporno.com
<wiwwe> nah
<iwa`> no thanks

[Estrop]

<wiwwe> this is the weirdest one
<wiwwe> http://www.ratemygasmask.com/index.php
<wiwwe> WHO THE HELL WANTS TO RATE YOUR FUCKING GAS MASK?
<Estrop> lol
<Ripptyde> lol
<Estrop> lmao
NSFW <wiwwe> http://www.ratemygasmask.com/index.php?id=667&c=all NSFW
<wiwwe> ok i can see now
<wiwwe> lol


<Estrop> Hey I got a bad beat story!
<Estrop> Who wants to hear it?!
<gutshot> not me fucker
<a500lbgorilla> I dont have time for your life story.

* blueyonder2.uk.quakenet.org sets mode: -oooooo a500lbgorilla dwarfy`4tabling Estrop |-|yper Ripptyde boost
* blueyonder2.uk.quakenet.org sets mode: -oooo iwa` corey L ake
* blueyonder2.uk.quakenet.org sets mode: +o L
-L- Done.
<dwarfy`4tabling> errr
<dwarfy`4tabling> wrong button
<bair> lol
<corey> wtf u do
<corey> butt fugger

[Staple Gun]

You dont wanna know how we arrived at this...


<JPD> razor to foot = -EV

[Estrop]

<rippyfillmaff> Hi Cyndy by the way...we havent 'met'...Im Rippy
<rippyfillmaff> havent seen you before
<Cyndy_Lou> wow thats a lot better than who the fuck is cyndy lou
<rippyfillmaff> wanna cyber ?

[gutshot]

<NewJack> WE ARE ALL IN SHANES POOPER

* boost has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
* boost has joined #flopturnriver
<boost> stupid dsl dropped
<boost>
<dwarfman> i have wireless DSL
<dwarfman> never dropped once
* dwarfman has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

[huh-wat]

<dwarfman> wow i'm retarded
<boost> yse
<dwarfman> i wanted to turn my speaker volume up
<boost> yes you are
<dwarfman> so i turned my monitor off
<dwarfman> i've no idea why
<dwarfman> i turned it off and was like, 'wtf i didn't want to do that', and turned it back on again

[Estrop]

<ake> my friend and I had some fun with the condom..but it turned out pretty bad

[huh-wat]

<ake> my friend and I had some fun with the condom..but it turned out pretty bad

[Muxy]

wow you both liked that quote

[a500lbgorilla]

<ake> my friend and I had some fun with the condom..but it turned out pretty bad

[Estrop]

<ake> my friend and I had some fun with the condom..but it turned out pretty bad

Best quote

[boost]

lol..... I think my sense of humor is a bit strange, I dont know I thought this shit was funny, but Im a sick fucker so, heres the story:

I was having a hard time and just couldnt get my shit together on stars and busted al ot of my roll, ilikeaces86 came to my rescue and set me up over on PP and showed me a good way to own the sngs over there. I did good for a while, then thigns went sour, and I moved back to stars, since then Ive done fine and I have my br back up to what it was. So Im doing just fine. So this is where the joke comes in, ilikeaces86 has been offline for about a week or more, and heres a PM I just sent him on irc. All the sudden he disapeared and isnt responding in public chat and hasnt said anything more back to my pm, lol I think I scared the shit outta him.


<boost> you there?
* ilikeaces86 nods
<boost> ..
<boost> I busted my bankroll on pp
<boost> playing those god damn sit n gos
<ilikeaces86> your an idiot
<boost> and you know what?
<ilikeaces86> tilt?
<boost> ITS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT
<boost> IF IT WASN TFOR YOU I WOULD BE FINE
<boost> YOU PUT ME OVER THERE
<boost> AND NOW IM BROKE
<boost> MY SUICIDE IS ON YOUR CONSCIENCE
<boost> HAVE FUN LIVING WITH THAT ASSHOLE
<boost> oh come on chris.. have a sense of humor
<boost> lol

[ake]

boost,

Hahahahaha, you bastard!

[a500lbgorilla]

<bmxicle> how many (posts) do you need to get a flush?
<kaelogus> 5
<kaelogus> wait
<kaelogus> what?
<kaelogus> nm

[sandstorm]

21:57:43 » Join: BADGERBADGERBAD ‹[email protected]›
21:57:43 ‹BADGERBADGERBAD› BADGER
21:57:43 ‹BADGERBADGERBAD› BADGER
21:57:43 ‹BADGERBADGERBAD› BADGER
21:57:44 ‹BADGERBADGERBAD› BADGER
21:57:44 ‹BADGERBADGERBAD› BADGER
21:57:46 ‹BADGERBADGERBAD› BADGER
21:57:46 » Quit: BADGERBADGERBAD ‹[email protected]› ‹Read error: EOF from client›

[sandstorm]

01:28:53 ‹sandst0rm› i love when gutshots hit
01:28:59 ‹sandst0rm› muhaha
01:29:11 » Join: gutshot` ‹[email protected]›

[a500lbgorilla]

<a500lbgorilla> Who is JPD?
<a500lbgorilla> And <3 gutty
<gutshot`> i dunno
<gutshot`> kick him

-'rilla

[loanhorse]

<a500lbgorilla> I cant believe I just lost
<loanhorse> heh, it happens
<a500lbgorilla> FSAJDKF
<a500lbgorilla> Never again will I chase a runner runner flush.
<loanhorse> lol

[NewJack33]

<dwarfman> yes i like men
<BigRed> ur a brit

[a500lbgorilla]

<a500lbgorilla> I cant believe I just lost
<loanhorse> heh, it happens
<a500lbgorilla> FSAJDKF
<a500lbgorilla> Never again will I chase a runner runner flush.
<loanhorse> lol

Wait a second! That never happened!

... did it?

-'rilla

[loanhorse]

late night for you rilla?

[Sykedupp]

* Sykedupp slaps mtbottle around a bit with a large trout
* gabefish smiles
<Sykedupp> oh
<gabefish> teee
<gabefish> hee
<Sykedupp> didnt know you were into that kind of thing gabe
* mtbottle grads the trout and fillets it, serving up on a bed of rice
<mtbottle> grab*
* Sykedupp slaps gabefish around a bit with a large trout
<Sykedupp> harder?
<Sykedupp> lol
* gabefish orgasms
<gabefish> ha
<whileone> drinking only kills the weak brain cells. keep at it, soon you'll be smart like me
<Sykedupp> wow
<Sykedupp> ive heard of the one minute man....
<gabefish> those trout
<gabefish> man
<gabefish> they really do the trick

<Glival> i'm bad at playing aggressively
<Glival> i fold a lot

* Muxy is now known as Muxy-Away
* n00bJack1123 is now known as Muxy
* Muxy-Away is now known as n00bJack1123
<n00bJack1123> touche

[Muxy]

<Muxy|Tourney> FUCK
<Muxy|Tourney> I FOLDED A ROYAL FLUSH!!!!!
<Valorian> why?
<Valorian> its the best hand in poker
<Valorian> you couldnt lose

[mgobluefb]

[16:41] * allLiving has joined #flopturnriver
[16:41] <Sharkbait05> LOL
[16:41] <mtbottle> lolol
[16:41] <mgo|HesGuilty> lol
[16:41] <dwarfman> rofl

[Estrop]

<smackinyaup> i used to play SNGs
<smackinyaup> then my balls got hairy and i quit

[a500lbgorilla]

<Estrop> I have problems with A6, I know its like one of the best hands because it has an ace, do I just push it before the flop?

-'rilla

[a500lbgorilla]

<Estrop> I launder drug money through neteller

-'rilla

After kickbanning someone from another poker channel on QuakeNet for trolling our channel, here was our PM conversation:

<SOOOFA> retards
<SOOOFA> go fuck yourself
<dwarfman> gg

[SmackinYaUp]

<AmigoDelTio> Black dicks taste saltier than white dicks
<Estrop> they do?
<smackinyaup> guess what amigo
<smackinyaup> you've just been quoted
<smackinyaup> ha ha

[a500lbgorilla]

<Estrop> I penis once had a downswing
<Estrop> my
<Estrop> I

-'rilla

<Estrop> if I die
<Estrop> brb

[a500lbgorilla]

<dwarfman> #Shanes_Poop_Hole
<dwarfman> #Shanes_Poop_Hole
<dwarfman> #Shanes_Poop_Hole

"pound Shane's Poop Hole" *shudder*

<a500lbgorilla> <dwarfman> #Shanes_Poop_Hole
<a500lbgorilla> <dwarfman> #Shanes_Poop_Hole
<a500lbgorilla> <dwarfman> #Shanes_Poop_Hole
<Estrop> uhmm
<a500lbgorilla> Pound Shane's poop hole?!
<a500lbgorilla> WTF?!?!?
* a500lbgorilla sets mode: -m
<boost> ROFL
<boost> HAHAHAHAHAHHAH
<n00bJack1123> haha
<a500lbgorilla> YOU SICK FUCK
<boost> AHAHAHAHAHAHHA

-'rilla

<Glival> NL ring is not that bad, but i've also played NL ring

[Estrop]

<Muxy> how do you give a reason to quit
<Estrop> ./quit (I'm gay)
<Estrop> just copy and paste that every time you want to quit!
* Muxy has quit IRC (Quit: Im gay)
* Muxy has joined #flopturnriver
<Muxy> did that work?
<COOKERRR> lol
<COOKERRR> no... try it again
<mgobluefb> no
<CoxhEd> Nah try this one ./quit (AFK: Spooning with my mom)
<Estrop> no, copy it without the .
<Muxy> i did
<Estrop> hmm
* Muxy has quit IRC (Quit: (AFK: Spooning with my mom))
<COOKERRR> rofl
<CoxhEd> it didnt work
<CoxhEd> say it
<Estrop> nope
* Muxy has joined #flopturnriver
<CoxhEd> Nah Muxy

[Estrop]

<Estrop> I launder drug money through neteller

-'rilla

what?! I don't even use neteller, and Estrop is NOT my name. I JUST MADE ITUP

[Muxy]

Rest of the convo.

<Estrop> nope
-L- [#flopturnriver] Welcome to the FlopTurnRiver IRC Chatroom. You must be registered on the FTR boards at www.flopturnriver.com/phpBB2 in order to be allowed to use this channel. THIS IS FOR FTR MEMBERS ONLY. No spammers!!!
<CoxhEd> Nah Muxy
<Muxy> i know its working
<CoxhEd> You're doing something wrong.
<Muxy> you guys are dummies
<Muxy> for even trying to trick me
<Estrop> * Muxy has quit IRC
<Muxy> god nubs
<Estrop> lets just quote it for fun..

* Estrop has joined #flopturnriver
<dwarfman> lol yeah
<dwarfman> then Estrop admitted it
<dwarfman> he really is gay
<dwarfman> :S
<dwarfman> ....hey Estrop
* Estrop has quit IRC (Quit: (FUCK YOU THEN))

[Muxy]

<Estrop> what did dwarfy do?
<Estrop> tilt?
<ake> Estrop, he quit..
<Muxy> said he lost his BR
<Muxy> and quit
<ake> busted and quit
<mgobluefb> "quit"
<dodgerfan29> dwarfy quit?
<ake> he quits all the time
<dodgerfan29> or rippy
<ake> dwarf
<mgobluefb> yeah he quits a loty
<Estrop> ouch.
<dodgerfan29> oh
<mgobluefb> lot*
<Muxy> he probably has a test tomarrow and needs a good night sleep or something
<ake> his quitting average is like twice a month probably
<ake> but we'll see
<dodgerfan29> lol
<ake> he can't last forever
<Estrop> he lost.. it all?
<Muxy> naw
<Estrop> but he was doing so well...
<ake> appereantly
<Muxy> i dont think so
<ake> I dunno how
<ake> he said he busted
<Muxy> well
<Estrop> crazy kid
<ake> sigh..
* dwarfman has joined #flopturnriver
* L sets mode: +o dwarfman
<Muxy> HEY!!!!!
<ake> hello..
<dwarfman> pffft i talk some shit sometimes
<Muxy> we didnt start the betting yet
<dwarfman> back to camping
<Muxy> we didnt start the betting yet
<mgobluefb> hi
<Muxy> we didnt start the betting yet
<dwarfman> later
<ake> rofl
<Muxy> AHHAHAHA
<Muxy> HAHAHAHAHAHHA
<ake> who won?
* dwarfman is now known as camp-dwarfy
<mgobluefb> lmfao
<Muxy> HAHHAHAHA

[Estrop]

<a500lbgorilla> Estrop! You win the WSOP in 8 years!
<a500lbgorilla> !!!!
<Estrop> in 8 years..
<a500lbgorilla> But you get mugged the next day.
<boostNslide> lol
<a500lbgorilla> For the total sum.
<a500lbgorilla> Becuase you were walking around with 80 mil
<a500lbgorilla> in your pockets..

[boost]

<Estrop> I'm fully in control with the muscles in my anus when I am hypnotised

[Estrop]

<Estrop> I'm fully in control with the muscles in my anus when I am hypnotised

I never said that. I wasn't even online. Although..

<boostNslide>I stick my finger in their butt when theyre oaut

[boost]

bullshit!

you just made THAT up... you trick bastard!

[loanhorse]

Heres some more of BOOOST...

<boostNslide> Do you know any good porn sites?
<boostNslide> a guy has to get action some how
<boostNslide> if only my sex life was as good as my bankroll

[Muxy]

<Estrop> lets see some of my notes..
<Estrop> find some leaks
<Estrop> ah yes.. I had a big chip lead 4 left, then my cards died
<Estrop> 3 handed, I push K2 with 5xBB in the SB
<arkana> estrop to fix your leaks you will need to start wearing a diaper