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Oddly enough, this was on my clipboard:
Next on Jerry! Mod at poker forum tells his shocking story!
Jerry: Mr. Expo, please tell us what happened.
Expo: Well Jerry, about three months ago, this other mod at the forum named WarBill put me down in a drunken post.
Audience: Wooo!
Jerry: Really? Well, that's pretty serious.
Expo: Yes. Then he apologised, and naturally I refused to accept.
Audience: Awwww!
Jerry: Wait. So he apologised and you refused to accept?
Expo: That's right Jerry. I wanted more.
Jerry: Like what?
Expo: I don't know. Just more.
Jerry: Oh. Ok.
Expo: And what's worse, the guy who owns the forum, Merlot, didn't even kick him out!
Audience: Gasp!
Jerry: That's terrible! So then what happened?
Expo: Well, a while later I go into the community forum to quietly and with dignity resign my modship, posting private correspondence from the mod forum. I had to do this because I knew the community would be so shocked and dismayed by my resignation that only a full-scale disclosure of the chain of events leading up to my resignation would soothe their heartaches. That's also why I came on your show today Jerry, to help others who might be in a similar situation as myself.
Jerry: I understand.
Expo: I don't do this for myself Jerry.
Jerry: No, of course not.
Expo: And I don't mean to bash Merlot- I love the guy! It's just that by not banning Bill immediately he let the forum go to <bleep>.
Jerry: So you think Merlot should have done something? Like ban this WarBill guy?
Expo: At least. Maybe even had him shot.
Jerry: I see. So what did Merlot say about all this.
Expo: He says he's sorry he didn't realise how I felt and that he thought the issue had been resolved.
Jerry: He assumed you and WarBill were able to deal with it like mature adults.
Expo: Yeah.
Jerry: So you feel he made a mistake in thinking you could handle it on your own.
Expo: Yeah. Wait, no, that's not what I mean. Here's the thing Jerry: When someone flames you on an internet forum, I mean someone who is a more or less complete stranger but not exactly, it really, really hurts. I mean...I...just....don't...know...if...I....can... .go....on (breaks into tears).
Audience: Awwww!
Jerry: After the break: We'll bring out WarBill and Merlot!
Audience: Booo!
Jerry: Steve, can you get this pussy some tissues?
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