First things first: I am calling my experiences panic attacks. No professional in any psychological field has verified that I am talking about what they would consider a panic attack.

Upon reflection, I don't think the stress was directly related to poker. The stress was related to the inner knowledge that I was grinding a less than living wage, and that I really didn't see myself as a professional poker player. All this was while I was unemployed with a college degree in physics, and milking my dad to pay my rent. I also think, upon reflection, that was hiding from my bigger dreams and hiding from the greater society of (to me, unpredictable) people.

This manifested in me having extreme shivers and cold sweats which involved painful muscle spasms. I would play poker under a blanket and still feel the spasms of shivering. This would begin ~30 minutes into a grinding session and last ~2 hours. The other 4 - 6 hours of grind were smooth sailing. I know this sounds like a long slog to many players, but I was good about managing my mental fatigue and quitting for the day when I needed to.

I was being careful with my sleep, diet and exercise at the time. I mean: I wasn't setting schedules, but keeping goals of allowing for 8 hours of sleep every night (whether or not I used/ needed it, it was available), making sure to elevate my heart rate daily, and eating lots of raw veggies with my meals. It could have been more rigorous, but it is more than I'm doing now.

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If I had been more aware of my actual stressors at the time, I think I may have managed it better, but IDK. I'm loving my career and life in general lately, so I don't have any regrets about stepping away from online poker.