rant

[Alibi]

So I'm sitting at home midning my own business or whatever and the doorbell rings. I open it iand it's some dude in a raggy shirt and jeans and he tells me "I'm here to check your water meter." He's wearing some clothing identifying him with a water company, so I let him in. However, I never trust these fuckers. I followed him around my basement to make sure he didn't steal anything. While I was down there the only thing I could think about was how no one would find my body for hours if he raped and murdered me and then looted my house. Fucking water meter guys. What kind of shady job is that, showing up in the middle of the afternoon asking to be let into someone's house? If I ever rob someone that's how I'm doing it.

[RiverMonkey]

You almost sound like Elaine from that Seinfeld episode where you hear her inner voice contemplating hitting that service-man over the head because she figures that she would have a high liklihood of getting away with it, so why not.

There's a fine line between ranting and clearly displaying sociopathic tendencies Don't cross that line. Your secret's out you sicko

[koolmoe]

You can call the water company to make sure it's legit.

A guy used a similar method to rape and kill several women in my town.

Your water meter is in your house? Weird.

[Warpe]

Your water meter is in your house? Weird.

Think "below freezing temperatures".

[gabe]

you should have went and gotten a knife and then returned to the front door and escorted the guy to the meter, holding the knife in plain view.

[ihategnomes]

Yea cause there is nothing better than being killed by an object that you brought to a fight. Kind of like the scene from Conair when the DEA agent brings a gun on board.

[Pyroxene]

you should have went and gotten a knife and then returned to the front door and escorted the guy to the meter, holding the knife in plain view.

When my wife and I lived in Florida, our home was in a 'neighboorhood' that was quite off the beaten path. There were certainly other homes in the neighborhood, but not many. My nearest neighbor was about 1/2 mile down the road and there were no houses on the other side of the road at all in either direction.

We lived a very quiet life. Years went by and it was very rare that anyone ever came to our door.

I was raised in a 'gun friendly' household and I own a Glock 21; a 45 calibre semi-automatic. With no children and no visitors, I kept the loaded weapon on my nightstand next to my bed.

One year the neighborhood experienced a growth explosion. Probably 30 or 40 houses were built and sold during the spring and summer. None were near us and my wife and I really did not think much about it.

Around 8:00pm one night in early Autumn someone POUNDS on the front door and there is clearly some shouting.

My wife gives me a worried look and I am thinking, "What the hell is going on?" So, I grab my Glock and head for the front door.

I am moments from opening the door when a thought hits me...

"Phyllis, what day is it?"
"Thursday"
"No, I mean day of the month."
"31st"
"Christ, it's Halloween."

We had never had trick or treaters there before, but with all the new families it finally happened.

My wife got the door while I hide the Glock in the kitchen and pulled out a bag of candy bars that we had.

We had a good laugh thinking about the story those kids would have had if I had been a moment slower on the realization.

"This crazy guy swung the door opened and he was shouting and he had a gun!"

My wife and I laugh about it to this day.

[DaNutsInYoEye]

Now see, that is just a plain, ol' fashioned funny story. It was humorous without being vulgar or otherwise offensive. See everyone? You can be funny without being obscene... Thanks for sharing.

[koolmoe]

Your water meter is in your house? Weird.

Think "below freezing temperatures".

Oh.

Think "time to migrate."

[UG]

Now see, that is just a plain, ol' fashioned funny story. It was humorous without being vulgar or otherwise offensive. See everyone? You can be funny without being obscene... Thanks for sharing.

I agree. This thread definitely had "teh funny" in it.

[Lukie]

you should have went and gotten a knife and then returned to the front door and escorted the guy to the meter, holding the knife in plain view.

great advice.

[mb2447]

You can be funny without being obscene?

BLASPHEMY!