Should you be allowed to party w these hot bitches

[JoeHaw]

You're a freshman in college, your gf is a sophomore at a different college. You want to stay at a hotel with some buddy's and some girls you know overnight at a DIFFERENT college because there's big raging festivities and no where else to stay.

Reads: your gf and you both trust each other and there have never been issues with cheating/shadiness in over a year of dating. Your gf knows who you are staying with, doesn't dislike them, but is not friends with them. You have no intentions of being anything other than entirely faithful. Guys you're staying with are single, but it's unlikely anyone hooks up with anyone else. Your gf says she trusts you entirely but thinks its "inappropriate". You are planning on getting hammered.

Question 1: Should you be allowed to go sleep in said hotel
Question 2: If the situation were flipflopped, would your gf be allowed to stay in said hotel.

I'm going through a very warped situation similar to this (with many more variables)

Just curious as to what you guys think.
Ask any questions about the dilemma and I will give a thorough answer to aid your decision making process.

[baudib]

Sounds like a recipe for disaster, or a really good time. Or both.

[JoeHaw]

There is a 0% chance that you hook up with one of the girls at the party. You have discipline. Even though they might be getting super drunk, horny, and flirty.

[baudib]

There is a 0% chance that you hook up with one of the girls at the party. You have discipline. Even though they might be getting super drunk, horny, and flirty.

you might as well, because if you go through with this and do it she'll hold it against you anyway.

[JoeHaw]

hahaha I seriously love you guys.

EDIT: I'll give you guys the full situation eventually

[daven]

There is a 0% chance that you hook up with one of the girls at the party. You have discipline. Even though they might be getting super drunk, horny, and flirty.

does not compute

[StarGrinder]

If we're not married or engaged to be married then we should be allowed to fuck anything that walks. It's in our DNA as males to want to spread our seed. If you're not planning on getting hitched up with this chick, then go party your ass off and whatever happens, happens.

[boost]

If we're not married or engaged to be married then we should be allowed to fuck anything that walks. It's in our DNA as males to want to spread our seed. If you're not planning on getting hitched up with this chick, then go party your ass off and whatever happens, happens.

this is retarded.

[bigred]

If we're not married or engaged to be married then we should be allowed to fuck anything that walks. It's in our DNA as males to want to spread our seed. If you're not planning on getting hitched up with this chick, then go party your ass off and whatever happens, happens.

Marriage is such a feeble contract in these days and age. You cheat on someone if you love yourself more than her/him, that's pretty much what it comes down to. It's a violation of trust and if you don't have trust you don't have love or a real relationship.

I really wonder if you believe your own statement. It's more likely you're like every other insecure dbag frat boy uttering shit they don't really believe but think everyone else is saying the same thing. Pat yourself on the back and have another budweiser.

[HarleyGuy13]

Dude as a freshman in college you SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED to be told what to do by said gf! Life is to damn short my friend and you shouldn't pass on any experience IMHO.

[spoonitnow]

Q1: Yes, because men are capable of logic
Q2: No, because women are cheating whores

[philly and the phanatics]

Q1: Yes, because men are capable of logic
Q2: No, because women are cheating whores

words out of my mouth etc

[OngBonga]

Q1: Yes, because men are capable of logic
Q2: No, because women are cheating whores

Wins thread, no point reading more.

[Ragnar4]

TL;DR

Seriously. The first paragraph reads like a goddamn calculus problem

[baudib]

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I used to go clubbing all the time, and I had a tight group of friends I saw every weekend. I was particularly close with one chick named Susannah. She was hawt with a killer body but our relationship was strictly platonic. I crashed many many nights at her place.

Then I started a LTR with a girl from work. She was totally not into the scene, so I stopped going out really. She had met my friends and got along fine, but it was never going to be her thing. Then we were living together.

One day she says, you know, you should go to (my favorite club). I'm like, well, it's like over an hour away, and driving home after at like 6 in the morning isn't a good idea. She said, "So stay at Susannah's." She practically insisted.

So I did, I slept on the couch, woke up at noon, called the GF and she went batshit crazy on me.

"WHERE ARE YOU? WHY AREN'T YOU HOME? WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME?"

"Um, I just woke up and I didn't want to call you at 5 a.m.?"

it was bad.

p.s. I hooked up with Susannah eventually but it was sort of regrettable.

[supa]

Q1- yes
Q2- Yes

[JoeHaw]

Just btw my stance is

1 yes
2 yes provided you can ensure a risk of rape/harassment of less than say 3% (which is difficult but very possible)

[surviva316]

2 yes provided you can ensure a risk of rape/harassment of less than say 3% (which is difficult but very possible)

wtf happened in this post?

[JoeHaw]

what do you mean?

[bikes]

yes
yes

[rong]

Yes and yes, but it's ok if you don't really like no. 2, as long as you say yes anyway, shut up and don't be a dick about it.

[Lukie]

Ask any questions about the dilemma and I will give a thorough answer to aid your decision making process.

What makes you think a bunch of randoms on a poker forum, with a demograph heavily slanted toward guys who will respond favorably to your position, gives you more insight into the situation than your girlfriend? Relationships are supposed to be based largely on open communication and if this is a gray area where she isn't comfortable, you should consider that.

There is a 0% chance that you hook up with one of the girls at the party. You have discipline. Even though they might be getting super drunk, horny, and flirty.

I was trying to come up with a smiley face that would convey the following: I trust based on how you are asking that you are sincere that you don't want to cheat on your gf, but a) you don't understand the mathematical implications of 0% (super nitty) and b) from a practical standpoint I'm sure you know there is a non-trivial chance that you are hooking up with some rando there even if you don't intend on it.

[JoeHaw]

What makes you think a bunch of randoms on a poker forum, with a demograph heavily slanted toward guys who will respond favorably to your position, gives you more insight into the situation than your girlfriend? Relationships are supposed to be based largely on open communication and if this is a gray area where she isn't comfortable, you should consider that.


I was trying to come up with a smiley face that would convey the following: I trust based on how you are asking that you are sincere that you don't want to cheat on your gf, but a) you don't understand the mathematical implications of 0% (super nitty) and b) from a practical standpoint I'm sure you know there is a non-trivial chance that you are hooking up with some rando there even if you don't intend on it.

My point is that if she is uncomfortable, its because she doesn't trust me, which is fucked up, or she's just jealous and being a bitch about it (which has become a pattern in our relationship).

EDIT: I'm not talking about being around other girls necessarily, but just going out and having fun without her.

The thing is she wont admit to being either of those, so she just says it's "inappropriate". Which is bullshit. At the same time, I'm a firm believer that if you're in a serious relationship and someone asks you not to do something (and doesnt ask you all the time) than you dont do it, period. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be happy about it.

There is a 0% chance of me hooking up with someone because I got "too drunk" or anything like that . I suppose there's a 1% chance I get super pissed at my gf for some reason and also find the hottest girl in the world who just happens to be into me. But for the most part I would NEVER cheat on someone as opposed to just dumping them and then hooking up with whatever other girl.

[boost]

I'm a firm believer that if you're in a serious relationship and someone asks you not to do something (and doesnt ask you all the time) than you dont do it, period. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be happy about it.

I want to subscribe to this, but I just can't. I would make an exception if I felt they would explain their feelings and the reason behind their desire for you to abstain from whatever. But if its just "please don't do this, and I will never back up my request with reason or logic," Then fuck all that noise.

[Lukie]

By the way my advice is to never get into this situation in the first place; i.e. you're going and you're making it very clear you are going. If she doesn't like it, too bad. You're a freshman in college ffs. I'd only reconsider if there was a good chance you were going to marry her or something.

[drmcboy]

By the way my advice is to never get into this situation in the first place; i.e. you're going and you're making it very clear you are going. If she doesn't like it, too bad. You're a freshman in college ffs. I'd only reconsider if there was a good chance you were going to marry her or something.

this is exactly how people end up miserable married to the wrong people. Pretend all you want if it's someone you want to sleep with for 6 months or whatever, but start being you ASAP if you're thinking you might get married.

[rong]

I think the real question here is should a grown man need permission to do anything that's legal.

[Monty3038]

IMHO... if she says that she 'trusts' you but thinks that staying there is inappropriate, then she doesn't trust you.

[kiwiMark]

I don't really get why there's a discussion about permission. I mean I would be suuuuuuuuuper unhappy if it were my gf in the flipped situation because I'm a bitch (and would be totally paranoid the whole time) and I dunno how she'd feel if I were in your shoes, but it wouldn't even occur to either of us that we needed permission or that we could/should/would stop the other one from going.

But I mean really lukie's right, if she doesn't want you to go then I'm not sure how much the consensus of the masses or what's "reasonable" comes into it. Gotta weigh up how much you care about how much she cares about it versus how much you wanna go, if all the talking-about-it that can be done has been done.

IMHO... if she says that she 'trusts' you but thinks that staying there is inappropriate, then she doesn't trust you.

also +1 ldo

[Muzzard]

it boils down to the fact she is insecure and doesnt trust you fully.

[kfaess]

it boils down to the fact she is insecure and doesnt trust you fully.

this

[jyms]

There is no way in hell I would first off, be involved ina long distance relationship.

Second, be involved ina long distance relationship when I'm that young and primed.

Third, allow a women that I am not married nor engaged to, tell me who or when I can do anything while in college.

Remember that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. I'm not sure who said that. For me, the only thing I have ever regretted in my life is something I didn't do.

[Shotglass]

There is no way in hell I would first off, be involved ina long distance relationship.

Second, be involved ina long distance relationship when I'm that young and primed.

Third, allow a women that I am not married nor engaged to, tell me who or when I can do anything while in college.

Remember that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. I'm not sure who said that. For me, the only thing I have ever regretted in my life is something I didn't do.

QFT

Until there's a ring on your finger she has absolutley no right to be able to "give you permission" to do anything.

If she saying that she trusts you, but not them then she doesn't fucking trust you.

[baudib]

I can't imagine having/wanting a serious girlfriend at age 18-22ish.

I'm sure some people do and it's great but, especially when you're in college, it seems meh.

[wufwugy]

jyms with the gospel

[givememyleg]

no pics?

[boost]

no pics?

and no request until now.. I am ashamed the commune..

[bikes]

man compared to you guys i seem like a hopeless romantic.

[JoeHaw]

^ haha i def can't agree with that

[bikes]

hedonists itt

[manfredi]

JoeHaw, so you want to party with hot bitches and your girlfriend feels that it is inappropriate? You seem to disagree -- obviously you two have different ideas about what is/not appropriate. That's cool, you're both pretty young and you can't be expected to agree on everything. Surely you must realize though, that to some people, the situation you describe IS INAPPROPRIATE. It's not bullshit, just because you don't agree.

The crux of the matter seems to be whether you are willing to respect your partner's expectations of the relationship/personal value system, or if you would rather try to have your cake and eat it, too (i.e. enjoying what she has to offer without fulfilling your obligations to her). It's no dilemma; there's an easy solution.

I think you should man up and have a little talk with your woman. Tell her that you are not comfortable being with someone who finds it 'inappropriate' for you to party with other young ladies. Tell her that your relationship has reached its natural conclusion, since the two of you are incompatible on an issue that is pretty much a deal breaker. Both of you should be happy for the time you had together, wish eachother well, and move on in the search for a more compatible partner. Neither one of you deserves the stress of being part of a bad couple.

Perhaps one of those young ladies that you are going to party with will be a good fit for you, since they seem to enjoy the same activities that you do.

On a related note: I'm 31 and no lightweight and let me tell you that drinking definitely does increase the chance (by, like, 100x) that you will do something that you would NEVER normally do, such as making out with random girls and/or groping girls that you misidentified as said previous willing random girl. Speaking from recent experience... self control, values, common sense go right out the window after you cross the invisible line.

[bigred]

@op, do it. If your girlfriend trusts you, then this should be fine. If she doesn't, you have deeper relationship issues. I spent a few years dating a girl who constantly got insecure and would occasionally accuse me of cheating (although I never did). I eventually realized it really had nothing to do with me. Now I date a girl who wouldn't even consider telling me I couldn't stay in that hotel room. While I would have some reservations to letting her do the same, it's mainly because I've been programmed in the past to be insecure about this kind of shit. Now, I would totally encourage her to do it because I know it's not a big deal. At the end of the day, even if she did cheat, I can't control that. Limiting her from doing things won't stop her from cheating. You can't monitor people 24/7 and your GF needs to realize this if she hasn't already. Go for it. If she tries to stop you, I have some bad news about the outlook of your relationship.

[kfaess]

damn, solid advice from mr bigred imo

[boost]

yep, wins this thread.

[jyms]

I can confirm Bigred has not cheated with the opposite sex.

[wufwugy]

I can confirm Bigred has not cheated with the opposite sex.

.

[kmind]

Bigred is spot on. I can't agree with all the post in here but his is goooooooooooood

[OngBonga]

What the FUCK? BR make a post of decent length, it's well thought out, intelligent and above all something that people agree with. Has something very strange happened while I was sleeping?

[JoeHaw]

UPDATE:

So the difference between my situation and the op situation is that my gf is a total bitch. She's also my first "real" girlfriend and I let myself get way to attatched to her. I could go into detail about all the horrible things I've had to put up with but it'd take an eternity. I've very confident she's bipolar, but won't call a psychologist, and is terrible to me. So I'm giving up on her. I've let it affect me and my friends way to much and I'm sick of it.

Here's the real dilemma. Her mother is psycho as well, but loves the shit out of me cuz knows her daughter is psycho but I put up with it. So she's taking me and her to puerto rico for a week.... in about two weeks.

She is in fact so crazy that she's about to break up with me just for trying to explain why I should be able to go. After 15 months of dating....

So question is, do ethically, do I deserve to milk this vacation and try and deal with this shit or should I do the right thing and end it now.

EDIT: GF has cheated on me before twice with the same guy although not passed first base. I can gamble and drink in puerto.

[Galapogos]

EDIT: GF has cheated on me before twice with the same guy although not passed first base. I can gamble and drink in puerto.

lol, none of them ever seem to get past first base in these confessions.

[boost]

lol, none of them ever seem to get past first base in these confessions.

this.

[JoeHaw]

lol, none of them ever seem to get past first base in these confessions.

oh ya Def a possibility there was more.

[manfredi]

oh ya Def a possibility there was more.

It sounds like you've already broken up with her in your heart. What are you, some kind of pitiful whore that needs to be 'paid' with a vacation?

Fucking idiot.

[Sasquach991]

UPDATE:

...EDIT: GF has cheated on me before twice with the same guy although not passed first base....

Did you tell her that was inappropriate?

My advice: Run away as fast as you can.

[Monty3038]

Did you tell her that was inappropriate?

My advice: Run away as fast as you can.

Honestly.... this is sad. Think more of yourself and leave her immediately.

Even for her to consider it means she is not the right woman for you.

[DropTheBanana]

So, your gf (ex or whatever) wouldn't be in PR with you?

Edit: Or is she just blatently just trying to leave you at home while she goes to PR?

[Smith]

1) Rule #1 Don't ever let a bitch come between you and a good time with your bro's. If your GF doesn't know the girl then it's OK to get busy. The less the connection between your GF and the girl the more +EV it becomes. Two states away is called a freebie.

If you get caught just remember this song. ]YouTube - SHAGGY - IT WASNT ME Also default to the "girl you must be crazy" line, and accuse her of being in the wrong when she brings it up. Flip it up and turn it around like she is the bad person in the relationship for even coming up with such nonsense in not trusting you. Convince her who ever told her is lying, because of _________ reason. Make up some retarded reason that the person is mad at you. Played right and you will turn it from ending a relationship to the best "I'm sorry for accusing you Baby" sex of your life. (And don't forget to make life miserable for the person who blabbed. They are a traitor, and must be dealt with appropriately)

Also a tip: Do it discreetly as possible. Be aware of listening posts called spies. Your GF has a network that can rival the CIA. A good back up plan is to pretend that your wasted, and don't remember a thing afterwards. Convincing others (witnesses) your drunk can work in your favor. In a pinch do a bunch of shots of Vodka (Water) in front of everybody. Then get said girl to "help" you go pass out some place. This also works great if you insist on driving, and your friends won't let you drive. Said girl simply offers to drive you, because she just happens to want to go home now too. In the end she is a hero for driving you back to her place! SCORE!

2) No matter how good you think your girl is, she is a cheater. Rule #2 They are all dirty dirty whores. They just know how to be discreet about it, and keep secrets. You know how she calls some of her friends sluts and whores? That's because they trade these stories like baseball cards. She has inside knowledge that she doesn't even share with you. Why? Because if she did she would break the girl code, and another girl could spill her exploits to you in retribution.

Given the right circumstances she will forget your name, and will be praising god with some other dude. A better looking more ripped dude shows interest in her, and she will melt with the flattery. She knows the drunk card too, and after a few drinks the panties will drop.

Also the more make up, piercings, ink, cleavage, the girl has the easier it is to get her in the sack. It's not called a tramp stamp for nothing fellas.

After writing all this I'm too tired to do your sister. Can you come and pick her up? She's at my place again.

/humor

Seriously though. Somebody who is worried about a cheater is a cheater. That's a fact. It's not that they don't trust you. It's they wouldn't trust themselves in that situation!!!

[JoeHaw]

no she would be. if we break up i dont go

[boost]

Just break up with her and move on. You can go to Puerto Rico on your own, you'll enjoy it much more.

[boost]

Also, bang one of the chicks in the hotel room. Hell, bang all of them. Rock out with your fuckin cock out.

[JoeHaw]

I dont have that kind of money haha

[OngBonga]

I dont have that kind of money haha

But her family does? Is she hot? I mean, all women are mental, if you can get one that's at least wealthy and hot, it's not so bad...

[JoeHaw]

her rents are divorced and her mom is pretty rich. She's really hot but she knows it... which is a huge turnoff

[boost]

She's really hot but she knows it... which is a huge turnoff

not saying I disagree with this, but it seems like that this is a red flag for some sort of psychological problem.

[donkbee]

She's really hot but she knows it... which is a huge turnoff

really hot girls almost always know they're hot

[wufwugy]

Don't let women dictate what you do or how you feel

Or you'll end up like me

[jyms]

I was going to say it earlier but decided against it, but it's almost always the cheaters that get jealous and don't trust

[bikes]

WHERE ARE THE GOD DAMN PICS?>!?!?!?!?!?

[OngBonga]

I thought only American kids use the term "first base" etc. Once you grow pubes, it's ok to kiss, fondle, and fuck.

I think I'd just finish it, but then I remember how difficult it was splitting up with my first girlfriend, it took me months to get my head together, although it sounds to me like you're not into her anywhere near as much as I was into my first bitch.

Dump her, get drunk, find someone not quite as mental.

really hot girls almost always know they're hot

Unlike men, who think they're good looking even if they're ugly. I'm fucking beautiful.

[Muzzard]

Take the holiday then fuck her off. It can be repayment for the cheating she's done.

/thread.

[Lukie]

I thought only American kids use the term "first base" etc. Once you grow pubes, it's ok to kiss, fondle, and fuck.

I think I'd just finish it, but then I remember how difficult it was splitting up with my first girlfriend, it took me months to get my head together, although it sounds to me like you're not into her anywhere near as much as I was into my first bitch.

Dump her, get drunk, find someone not quite as mental.



Unlike men, who think they're good looking even if they're ugly. I'm fucking beautiful.

took the words right out of my mouth

[kmind]

Just end it now with her and her mom being psycho. I would have ended it the moment I knew she cheated so that's a whole other story. Sometimes it's good to get "even" or back at them but I don't think this is the case.

[Numbr2intheWorld]

Dude you should have ended it a while ago... End it now please. It'll be tough for a while but worth it in the end.

[mrhappy333]

Federal tax form:
[X] SINGLE
[ ] MARRIED
If the federal government says your single, your single!

[JoeHaw]

[sappiness]

i know it makes me a total bitch but I've been through a lot with this girl and i can't help but feel like i'd be giving up on her to break up with her. She knows when she's being a bitch she just can't admit it. And she knows she has issues. theres obv another side of her as well that's really great and everytime i get close to dumping her thats all I can think about.

[/sappiness]