some people will think this is funny ....

[triumphant cracker]

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises ...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above...

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says.......

"Yesterday we were campaigning, today you voted."

[Thunder]

Fail.

[spoonitnow]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

[triumphant cracker]

fuck you

[Thunder]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Jeez man, get a fucking life. Making one comment on the topic (as I did) and which is in keeping with comments in similar threads is one thing. Being a twat and trolling people's threads with the sole intention to make (repeated) personal insults and completely ignoring the topic at hand is another.

As is even going so far as to make public a pm that was encouraging said troller to either discuss to resolve his issues or at the very least be a man about his activities.

As is then hanging on to said confrontation and making repeated allusions to it (as in this thread).

As is then whining like a l'il bitch when Wesrman points out what a thin skinned, cry baby hypocrite you really are.

You've been a dick. You got called on it. You spat your dummy out in the forum. Let it go, get over it, and move the fuck on.

And if you can't - pm me rather than keep it public. Then go see a good life coach to help you out with your fixations and misplaced values.

[spoonitnow]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert retort that is waaay too long.

Insert comment questioning your sexuality and vaginal blood output rate.

fuck you

Haha you're so fucked, now you're going to get stalked every time you post in the commune.

[Thunder]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert retort that is waaay too long.

Insert comment questioning your sexuality and vaginal blood output rate.

Abridged version for those who can't cope with a few stanzas:

a) Get a fucking life.
b) Stop being an overreacting hypocrite.
c) Let it go, get over it, and move the fuck on.
d) Go see a good life coach to help with your sad, childish fixations.
e) pm me if it bothers you so - rather than being a continued dick in the commune.

Haha you're so fucked, now you're going to get stalked every time you post in the commune.

Just look at yourself and your behaviour. You're the one who's clearly fucked. In the head.

Now, review a) through e).

[spoonitnow]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert retort that is waaay too long.

Insert comment questioning your sexuality and vaginal blood output rate.

Insert another really long post that nobody's going to read or care about.

Insert comment about possible fornication with applicable female members of your family and the proceeds from media recording these events.

[bode]

i like the OP, the other shit i could do without.

[spoonitnow]

i like the OP, the other shit i could do without.

I don't know, it's kind of a not-so-creative play on the same thematic tour heaven and hell joke, just like the Bill Gates one. The fun thing about these types of jokes is that they're easily manipulated into fitting some said occasion which can make them funnier in the moment if done correctly imo.

[bode]

i like the OP, the other shit i could do without.

I don't know, it's kind of a not-so-creative play on the same thematic tour heaven and hell joke, just like the Bill Gates one. The fun thing about these types of jokes is that they're easily manipulated into fitting some said occasion which can make them funnier in the moment if done correctly imo.

i didn't say i laughed hysterically or anything. it was decent and well timed iyam.

[spoonitnow]

i like the OP, the other shit i could do without.

I don't know, it's kind of a not-so-creative play on the same thematic tour heaven and hell joke, just like the Bill Gates one. The fun thing about these types of jokes is that they're easily manipulated into fitting some said occasion which can make them funnier in the moment if done correctly imo.

i didn't say i laughed hysterically or anything. it was decent and well timed iyam.

Yeah that's what I'm saying though, like this could be tailored to almost any time or situation which makes it better than any one individual instance of it imo.

There was another one that had to do with two boats or something a few months back that was very similar in nature but I can't remember it.

[BankItDrew]

Thanks for sharing OP.

This is the first joke of its kind that I have read and I can honestly say that I thought the punchline was very clever.

[JKDS]

but why isnt it in the "got a joke leave a joke" thread? i like that thread...

[Ragnar4]

Thanks for sharing OP.

This is the first joke of its kind that I have read and I can honestly say that I thought the punchline was very clever.

:snicker:

[givememyleg]

nice

[triumphant cracker]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert retort that is waaay too long.

Insert comment questioning your sexuality and vaginal blood output rate.

fuck you

Haha you're so fucked, now you're going to get stalked every time you post in the commune.

i could care less you made a comment and a lame one word post just to post to get your jollys. both of you are fuckin morons who have no clue what a joke is.

and i still say fuck you.

edit..
thunder i always thought you were ok. but spoon...

[Thunder]

thunder i always thought you were ok. but spoon...

I am. And can roll your criticism without getting all bent out of shape about it, even though I think you retaliated a tad harshly. I didn't find the joke funny, commented as such with lighthearted intentions, you reacted. End of. We're quits. No hard feelings?

[givememyleg]

hey cracker this may sound weird or something but not everyone will find your joke funny!

[wufwugy]

thread seems like a good candidate for me to marklar

but eh im too tired

[bigred]

lol at people who still read thunder's posts

[spoonitnow]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert retort that is waaay too long.

Insert comment questioning your sexuality and vaginal blood output rate.

fuck you

Haha you're so fucked, now you're going to get stalked every time you post in the commune.

i could care less you made a comment and a lame one word post just to post to get your jollys. both of you are fuckin morons who have no clue what a joke is.

and i still say fuck you.

edit..
thunder i always thought you were ok. but spoon...

WATEVER MORAN

[Ash256]

[mrhappy333]

LOL,I liked the joke.

[nutsinho]

trainwreck

[a500lbgorilla]

This thread starts off strong and then is derailed by the gays. First they're fucking up marriage, now they're fucking up our threads!

[spoonitnow]

I bet this joke could be re-worked to be about Brandi.

[JKDS]

This thread starts off strong and then is derailed by the gays. First they're fucking up marriage, now they're fucking up our threads!

dont forget our water supply, their queering that up too! rainbows!!!

[wesrman]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

[x] Dishes it out well
[ ] Takes it well
[x] Cries like a bitch when anyone calls him out on it

[triumphant cracker]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert retort that is waaay too long.

Insert comment questioning your sexuality and vaginal blood output rate.

fuck you

Haha you're so fucked, now you're going to get stalked every time you post in the commune.

i could care less you made a comment and a lame one word post just to post to get your jollys.

and i still say fuck you spoon...

edit..
thunder i always thought you were ok. but spoon...

WATEVER MORAN

hey...look who cant spell...

[triumphant cracker]

thunder i always thought you were ok. but spoon...

I am. And can roll your criticism without getting all bent out of shape about it, even though I think you retaliated a tad harshly. I didn't find the joke funny, commented as such with lighthearted intentions, you reacted. End of. We're quits. No hard feelings?

none....

ha ha spoons all upset.

[fjuanl]

[spoonitnow]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert retort that is waaay too long.

Insert comment questioning your sexuality and vaginal blood output rate.

fuck you

Haha you're so fucked, now you're going to get stalked every time you post in the commune.

i could care less you made a comment and a lame one word post just to post to get your jollys.

and i still say fuck you spoon...

edit..
thunder i always thought you were ok. but spoon...

WATEVER MORAN

hey...look who cant spell...

Lisen hear butty eye cann spel jus fin.

[spoonitnow]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert the same old song and dance.

Insert comment about how Aerosmith sucks.

[a500lbgorilla]

spoonitnow: where doin it for the lulz meets uninspired execution.

[spoonitnow]

spoonitnow: where doin it for the lulz meets Martha Stewart.

[Marbleboy]

Strange thread

[Jack Sawyer]

[Jack Sawyer]

great joke btw

[a500lbgorilla]

spoonitnow: where doin it for the liberal media meets active super volcanoes

[XTR1000]

[spoonitnow]

spoonitnow: where rightist fear-Mongols meet Gia Darling

[wesrman]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert the same old song and dance.

Insert comment about how Aerosmith sucks.

You're so pathetic it makes me LOL.

At least you didnt cry this time.

[wesrman]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

[x] Dishes it out well
[ ] Takes it well
[x] Cries like a bitch when anyone calls him out on it

Its funny cuz its true.

[spoonitnow]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert the same old song and dance.

Insert comment about how Aerosmith sucks.

Insert further harassment.

Insert reference to the FTR Rules of Conduct.

[wesrman]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert the same old song and dance.

Insert comment about how Aerosmith sucks.

Insert further harassment.

Insert reference to the FTR Rules of Conduct.

Theres the crying.

You keep bringing shit up first (see the quote below) so dont whine when i bring it back.

And stop being such a pussy. K thanks.

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

[spoonitnow]

Fail.

Insert comment about shitting on peoples threads.

Insert the same old song and dance.

Insert comment about how Aerosmith sucks.

Insert further harassment.

Insert reference to the FTR Rules of Conduct.

Insert statement implying he doesn't have to follow the FTR Rules of Conduct.

Insert concerns about the rules not being enforced even after someone says that they don't have to.

[dthorne04]

@ the joke

at the continued trolling/dreadful posting by wesrman/spoon/thunder

[spoonitnow]

@ the joke

at the continued trolling/dreadful posting by wesrman/spoon/thunder

I thought that 2nd smiley was a blowjob smiley until recently.

[a500lbgorilla]

spoonitnow: where what when why and how

[spoonitnow]

spoonitnow: where forklifts meet pornography

[mrhappy333]

In before the Lock!!

[JinxT4]

I thought the joke was funny.

[flomo]

danm! some pics of trannies might improve this thread

[spoonitnow]

danm! some pics of trannies might improve this thread

[flomo]

thanks spoon

glad i didn't say gay retards having sex