Swiggidy's C- Stories

[swiggidy]

Well, this game is kinda ghey, but my friends needed another player after a group holiday dinner. We had a "cameo" where you pretend to be someone else. The other team read the card then goes "Swig, you totally have to do this one"

ME (in bad girly voice): "So, it's awesome how I'm famous and everybody loves me. I'm riding around and my driver is approaching a tunnel"

This is where the correct answer was guesses (so like 5 sec tops).

Me: "OMG my car is flipping over, I'm totally on fire, I'm dead"

Most of the room lols and girl who gave me the card while laughing
"I knew you would be totally inappropriate"

/story

Do what you wish with this thread.

[Galapogos]

/appreciation of Swigs threads

[will641]

First few words i thought paris hilton but the tunnel is a dead giveaway that its princess diana

[DaNutsInYoEye]

kate moss?

[swiggidy]

/appreciation of Swigs threads

[spoonitnow]

Nice =)

[Galapogos]

/appreciation of Swigs threads

Just re-read this and hope no one thinks I took offense to the subject matter. Was just making fun of Swigg for a C- story.

[swiggidy]

/appreciation of Swigs threads

Just re-read this and hope no one thinks I took offense to the subject matter. Was just making fun of Swigg for a C- story.

I followed you.

[bigred]

First few words i thought paris hilton but the tunnel is a dead giveaway that its princess diana

I agree with him because he is correct

[swiggidy]

note: names changed to protect the innocent

swiggidy: so I went to bar last night to watch the boxing match
my_sister: mk
swiggidy: so this chick starts talking to us, not sure what she was saying
swiggidy: she was wasted
my_sister: mk
swiggidy: she had black fingernail polish, and kinda bangs
my_sister: scenester?
swiggidy: so I interrupted her (because I wasn't listening anyway) and said "are you emo"
swiggidy: except for what I listed she looked sorority
swiggidy: so she started a soapbox about how she hates emo
my_sister: i love you
swiggidy: and how she was fromthe country at is was so lame that people were emo
swiggidy: so I say "yeah you just wanna tell him, stop being a bitch, get on your tractor and go plow the fields"
swiggidy: and she's all "OMG, totally I know"
my_sister: ahahaha!
swiggidy: so then I say "or if it's a girl, cunt go bake me a pie"
my_sister: haha what'd she say?
swiggidy: she was shocked
swiggidy: then her 6'5" bf came over and bitched at her for talking to a table of guys
swiggidy: so she started crying
my_sister: shes sounds like oodles of fun
swiggidy: then he left and I said something stupid and she smiled and stopped crying
swiggidy: then she fell over

[givememyleg]

haha protecting the innocent my ass

[givememyleg]

also funny story. at least a B, not a C- this time!

[swiggidy]

ty sir, on both accounts

[givememyleg]

selling swigg's 16 yr old sister's aim screen name, start the bids now

[Zee Devee]

i'll give ya a high five for it.

[givememyleg]

current bid is a virtual high five, who's next?

[salsa4ever]

I'll give ya a story and a blowkiss

[euphoricism]

I'll give you a blowjob story.

[bigred]

I'll give you a blowjob story.

Did you blow the guy who was holding you in that picture again?

[euphoricism]

No i was the receiver, so I'm not gay.

[bigspenda73]

I'll give her my heart

and another organ that's shaped differently

[swiggidy]

I'll give her my heart

and another organ that's shaped differently

haha, spenda's in <3 with my 16 yr old sister. He seriously needs to get laid.

[ensign_lee]

I like your second story better. GO GO SWIG!

[salsa4ever]

hey what's wrong with 16 year old sister!!! (hmmm cue underage sex story?)

I don't discriminate on age.

where were we in our auction again? I'm bidding a pair of handcuffs, a red rope, and a xmas costume

[kingnat]

No i was the receiver, so I'm not gay.

It's not gay if you're the big spoon.. {acronym Renton hates}

[Galapogos]

Haha seconds story's funny. I think Swiggidy's the one person I'd get along with the best in real life from this site. Even though he used to be a hippy long hair.

[swiggidy]

Haha seconds story's funny. I think Swiggidy's the one person I'd get along with the best in real life from this site. Even though he used to be a hippy long hair.

I should make a trip to vancouver. Between you and courtiee I'd feel like a god. Or maybe just like X.

[flomo]

this is a great thread
please continue with more stories

[gabe]

so i was just thinking about meeting swigg and was thinking about him drinking whiskey from a jar and was reminded of this video where you cant really see him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfVtfq1en_E

also swigg remember lukie's brother in law and him explaining all those weird games and strategies and stuff?

[bigspenda73]

so i was just thinking about meeting swigg and was thinking about him drinking whiskey from a jar and was reminded of this video where you cant really see him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfVtfq1en_E

also swigg remember lukie's brother in law and him explaining all those weird games and strategies and stuff?

I still laugh every time I hear you say "what is this, 1000 proof? is that possible?"

[givememyleg]

givememyleg (5 months ago) (Reply) (Spam)

LOOK AT MY WATCH

ahahaa

[UG]

second story is better

awesome thread

swig we'll meet someday, you're cool, I want that 1000 proof whiskey btw

lukie you're a cartoon character, not sure if that's good or bad yet

gabe you're fun stuff

[gabe]

so i was just thinking about meeting swigg and was thinking about him drinking whiskey from a jar and was reminded of this video where you cant really see him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfVtfq1en_E

also swigg remember lukie's brother in law and him explaining all those weird games and strategies and stuff?

I still laugh every time I hear you say "what is this, 1000 proof? is that possible?"

personally i like the "you just made out with a guy"
"it was a girl"
"oh my bad"

[Lukie]

gabe is the funniest guy i've ever met

[bigspenda73]

I think it's still great b/c that is the first time a lot of us heard your accent and I think we were all surprised by it.

[gabe]

what accent

[bigspenda73]

don't worry, it's a good southern boys accent

[gabe]

damn right

[Galapogos]

I still laugh at Lukie spotting the camera and immediately falling in love with it.

[givememyleg]

spenda has such a thick southern accent. but pelions is the best on ftr, maybe anosmic though.

[jyms]

spenda has such a thick southern accent. but pelions is the best on ftr, maybe anosmic though.

Salsa is right up there. He's got the Croc Dundee thing happening but he's such a little guy, must mess people up.

[salsa4ever]

spenda has such a thick southern accent. but pelions is the best on ftr, maybe anosmic though.

Salsa is right up there. He's got the Croc Dundee thing happening but he's such a little guy, must mess people up.

TJ loves me! YAY

have I won the auction yet?

Would you ask whether she prefers pink or black handcuffs? I have a pair of pink ones that my friends bought me as a joke... they look real cute but not very strong, even someone like me could probably break it in two if I really tried. The black ones are industrial quality and were a gift to me from a for-hire professional dominatrix.

[bigred]

I still laugh at Lukie spotting the camera and immediately falling in love with it.

[bigspenda73]

spenda has such a thick southern accent

lol no I don't, I really don't understand why you insist on saying I do. Anyone else who has listened to my vids or talked to me in Vent plz tell leg he is wrong.

[JL]

spenda has such a thick southern accent

lol no I don't, I really don't understand why you insist on saying I do. Anyone else who has listened to my vids or talked to me in Vent plz tell leg he is wrong.

leg you are wrong

[givememyleg]

i am not wrong

[givememyleg]

it's southern but like more high pitched

[bigspenda73]

it's southern but like more high pitched

hhahahaha GFY

you're the one that sounds like a little girl

[givememyleg]

no that's hartlin, i def don't have a high pitched voice. i also didnt say you did either, just that it's more of a high pitched southern one. DONT TEST ME BOY.

[swiggidy]

So everyone missed that I'm totally gagging about to throw up in the background?

Corn Whiskey after 1/2 bottle of Crown is not the shit.

[swiggidy]

also swigg remember lukie's brother in law and him explaining all those weird games and strategies and stuff?

yeah, I was telling the story on Sunday because we were playing at my house and this kid wanted to play ride the snake.

You get 7 cards, betting round, pass 3 to your right, betting round. I have 6s full of 4s and have everyone covered. 4 people all-in. pass 2 to your right, "betting round", pass one to your right "betting round". Of course I have the worst boat and the 3 other people all had them after the first pass.

Almost equally as weird a game.

[swiggidy]

I left my popcorn bowl with the leftover kernels on my table. Cat knows he's not allowed on the table, so only climbs up there when I'm gone. Today he ate all the kernels, then shit them all over my floor. At least I know it probably hurt him coming out.

[swiggidy]

I left my popcorn bowl with the leftover kernels on my table. Cat knows he's not allowed on the table, so only climbs up there when I'm gone. Today he ate all the kernels, then shit them all over my floor. At least I know it probably hurt him coming out.

And of course, my roommate who just moved out took my carpet cleaner with him, even though he didn't clean a fucking thing the 2 months he was here. And my car is in the shop.

So pissed right now.

[givememyleg]

sup swigg

[swiggidy]

sup swigg

Cleaning carpet if you know what I mean

[Xianti]

I left my popcorn bowl with the leftover kernels on my table. Cat knows he's not allowed on the table, so only climbs up there when I'm gone. Today he ate all the kernels, then shit them all over my floor. At least I know it probably hurt him coming out.

Orville Redenbacher?

[swiggidy]

Orville Redenbacher?

Fuck no. Act II butter lover's and it's not even close. 8 years ago they made a butter 2000, "butter for the new millennium". That was the best ever but they discontinued it

[a500lbgorilla]

And for good reason, the worlds fake butter flavor reserves were crippled that year thanks to that overly decadent and microwaveable light snack.

[bode]

kettle corn owns all over butter lovers all day long

[a500lbgorilla]

kettle corn is a leak

[Xianti]

Redenbacher was my guess at who you were cameoing (per OP), not the brand of popcorn.

My advanced humor escapes you.

[swiggidy]

kettle corn is a leak

And by leak you mean vomit in my mouth

My advanced humor escapes you.

Yes, more lame humor plz

[triumphant cracker]

First few words i thought paris hilton but the tunnel is a dead giveaway that its princess diana

me too...

[bode]

kettle corn is a leak

And by leak you mean vomit in my mouth

post lives up to thread title

[GatorJH]

Can we change the topic to Swiggidy's Fail Stories?

[swiggidy]

I'll do that instead of changing my avatar

[GatorJH]

ummmmm lemme think about it.

done thinking

NO