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things that tilt you

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  1. #526
    bigred's Avatar
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    Rilla and I will have an open bar when it's legal. You're all invited.
    LOL OPERATIONS
  2. #527
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    I just wish there were some sort of convenient pocket sized(and shaped) metal container I could secretly carry roughly 6.5 fluid ounces of liquor in. *sigh*
  3. #528
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigred
    Rilla and I will have an open bar when it's legal. You're all invited.
    the appletini ice fountain will be a huge hit
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  4. #529
    Quote Originally Posted by bigspenda73
    bitches
    It tilts me when some insensitive, misogynistic, brute insists on referring to hoes as bitches. It's like we haven't made any progress.
  5. #530
    Quote Originally Posted by Lukie
    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    Quote Originally Posted by nibbles
    People who work in food services that think the plastic gloves are to protect their muthafuggin hands. They handle the money after they scratch their ass before they fix the sandwich. My meal is UNCLEAN!!! What are ya gonna do? This is standard everywhere now.
    what tilts me is that people advocate the use of gloves in food service. JUST WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS. People have a tendency to do more unclean gross things when wearing gloves than they would if they were just taught proper food service hygiene. I wash my hands all the time. Why the fuck would I need to wear gloves? Its just a fucking pony show when food is actually handled in front of the guest.
    lukie theorem on washing hands: nobody actually washes their hands, except when people are looking
    You'd be surprised at how many adults don't know how to wash their hands. Pay attention next time you are at a public restroom. I've seen so many people wash without getting any soap on the back of their hands. Now this is better than those people who just rinse their hands off, but if you work in food services you should lather up to your wrists. Almost enough to make you start brown bagging your lunch. Almost.
  6. #531
    We had all the beer and wine you could drink, cash bar for hard liquor....that's where shit gets expensive, because some asshole that always drinks beer will start guzzling crown royal because somebody else is paying for it.


  7. #532
    Quote Originally Posted by nibbles
    Quote Originally Posted by bigspenda73
    bitches
    It tilts me when some insensitive, misogynistic, brute insists on referring to hoes as bitches. It's like we haven't made any progress.
    what can I say, I'm from a simpler time
  8. #533
    will641's Avatar
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    my life

    specifically, some guy who i absolutely dont want to hang out with keeps sending me fb messages and writing on my wall. today he writes, hey dude wanna hang out? then what do i do? i fucking run into him at the grocery store and have to basically bullshit my way out which comes naturally but thats not the point.

    i overdrew my bank account which sucked donkey balls. i was making out with this chick last night and some 2nd level friend of ours who had been hooking up walks into the party and cock blocks. my other good friend got cock blocked simultaneously. shit is just fucked.
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  9. #534
    US Open rainouts

    serial, wtf else am I supposed to do for 8 hours on Thursday but watch this damn tournament, and I get to see ~15 minutes of live golf.
  10. #535
    will641's Avatar
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    thanks mr. triptanes for "liking" that guys fb post.
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  11. #536
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigspenda73
    US Open rainouts

    serial, wtf else am I supposed to do for 8 hours on Thursday but watch this damn tournament, and I get to see ~15 minutes of live golf.
    Yeah this was the gaaaay!

    A guy at work gave me Tiger against the field with 4:1 on $100 and 8:1 if he wins by 4+, just want it to be over so I can go collect my monies
  12. #537
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    Oh yeah, how the radio times their good songs to either start as soon as I'm getting out of my car or finishing as soon as I turn to it. That shit really does annoy the hell out of me.
  13. #538

    Default Re: things that tilt you

    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    "well i'm only hungry enough for half a donut, can i just buy half of one for half price?"
    how often do you hear this? tell that fucker to buy the whole thing, eat half now, eat the rest when they're hungry again. boom you got two halves of a doughnut for two halves of the price
  14. #539
    bigred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    my life

    specifically, some guy who i absolutely dont want to hang out with keeps sending me fb messages and writing on my wall. today he writes, hey dude wanna hang out? then what do i do? i fucking run into him at the grocery store and have to basically bullshit my way out which comes naturally but thats not the point.

    i overdrew my bank account which sucked donkey balls. i was making out with this chick last night and some 2nd level friend of ours who had been hooking up walks into the party and cock blocks. my other good friend got cock blocked simultaneously. shit is just fucked.
    Weird, someone else posted on your wall and then ran into you at the grocery store too? Small world!!!!!
    LOL OPERATIONS
  15. #540
    Galapogos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    my life

    specifically, some guy who i absolutely dont want to hang out with keeps sending me fb messages and writing on my wall. today he writes, hey dude wanna hang out? then what do i do? i fucking run into him at the grocery store and have to basically bullshit my way out which comes naturally but thats not the point.
    This post is in pretty poor taste dude. I mean, Massimo is almost guaranteed to read it.


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  16. #541
    people who while on escalators don't adhere to the walk left, stand right policy that is clearly posted on them. one of these days I'm going to go "Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!" and boot you dumb motherfuckers down the steps
    derp
  17. #542
    I hate when people get off the escalators and congregate right at the exit, like there aren't dozens of people getting off after them. "Oh, I'm sorry, didn't see you". You don't have to see, you should know, dumbass.
  18. #543
    Steve Yea
  19. #544
    Quote Originally Posted by RugbyDonk
    Steve Yea
    lol this guy?
    Flopping quads and boats like its my job
  20. #545
    selecting use e check at pokerstars only to find that I have to go find a western union to get more chips!
    I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
  21. #546
    will641's Avatar
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    when my roommate comes into my room and never ever ever closes the door when he leaves.
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  22. #547
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigred View Post
    xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
    yo
  23. #548
    will641's Avatar
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    BITCHES.
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  24. #549
    JKDS's Avatar
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    freshmen that are like, IM GOING TO WALK IN THE BIKE PATH which would be easy enough to avoid if every single freshmen didnt do it. im thinking of just taking the brakes off my bike and seeing what happens.
  25. #550
    kmind's Avatar
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    Let's just combine that last 2. Freshmen Bitches.
  26. #551
    Quote Originally Posted by UG
    We had all the beer and wine you could drink, cash bar for hard liquor....that's where shit gets expensive, because some asshole that always drinks beer will start guzzling crown royal because somebody else is paying for it.

    Hey UG, you ever see tosh.0???


    the ninja guy in your avatar does a web redemption of the back flip...pooping hilarious...
    Roco415.
  27. #552
    Car racing on the radio

    Not being able to understand the wierd ass chat slang in IRC.

    Pronounced chat shortcuts (i.e., JayKay, ElllOhhhElll, etc.)
    "Just cause I'm from the South don't mean I ain't got no book learnin'"

    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla View Post
    ...we've all learned long ago how to share the truth without actually having the truth.
  28. #553
    STOP THE CHAT SHORTCUTS
  29. #554
    will641's Avatar
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    waiting for UPS packages suck a fat one.
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  30. #555
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sasquach991
    Car racing on the radio

    Not being able to understand the wierd ass chat slang in IRC.

    Pronounced chat shortcuts (i.e., JayKay, ElllOhhhElll, etc.)
    Not only do i use el oh el in face-to-face convo, I actually use my hand to spell L O L
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  31. #556
    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    waiting for UPS packages suck a fat one.
    So Ive been ordering quite a few parts for my motorcycle lately and normally I go for usps because its cheaper. But now I always go for it if I have the option cuz in my experience it also tends to be faster, several days faster.
    You-- yes, you-- you're a cunt.
  32. #557
    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
    Quote Originally Posted by Sasquach991
    Car racing on the radio

    Not being able to understand the wierd ass chat slang in IRC.

    Pronounced chat shortcuts (i.e., JayKay, ElllOhhhElll, etc.)
    Not only do i use el oh el in face-to-face convo, I actually use my hand to spell L O L
    +1, inverse L with index finger/thumb followed by O with mouth finished by another inverse L, I'm that damn cool.
    "This sure beats Super Mario Bros.!" is my ejaculation catch phrase.
  33. #558
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ATOTHEC101
    Quote Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
    Quote Originally Posted by Sasquach991
    Car racing on the radio

    Not being able to understand the wierd ass chat slang in IRC.

    Pronounced chat shortcuts (i.e., JayKay, ElllOhhhElll, etc.)
    Not only do i use el oh el in face-to-face convo, I actually use my hand to spell L O L
    +1, inverse L with index finger/thumb followed by O with mouth finished by another inverse L, I'm that damn cool.
    Respect
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  34. #559
    Oh thought of an epic one the other day:

    Songs that have fucking sirens in them, shit freaks me out every time.
  35. #560
    Quote Originally Posted by bigspenda73
    Oh thought of an epic one the other day:

    Songs that have fucking sirens in them, shit freaks me out every time.
    haha ya..



    One that tilts the shit outta me is people who dont teach their kids any sort of respect and just let them run wild. There are a couple families on my block who just let their kids run around, like 4 year olds playing alone in the alley..
    You-- yes, you-- you're a cunt.
  36. #561
    Chopper's Avatar
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    My Mother-in-law

    and, i second the pronunciation of chat terminology.
    LHE is a game where your skill keeps you breakeven until you hit your rush of random BS.

    Nothing beats flopping quads while dropping a duece!
  37. #562
    No-Limit Hold'em, $1.00 BB (2 handed) - Hold'em Manager Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com

    BB ($143.60)
    Hero (SB) ($148.75)

    Preflop: Hero is SB with 8, 10
    Hero calls $0.50, BB bets $4, Hero calls $4

    Flop: ($10) J, 7, 9 (2 players)
    BB bets $8, Hero raises $16.75, BB raises $31, Hero raises $127 (All-In), BB calls $99.60 (All-In)

    Turn: ($287.20) 5 (2 players, 2 all-in)

    River: ($287.20) 5 (2 players, 2 all-in)

    Total pot: $287.20

    Results:
    Hero had 8, 10 (straight, Jack high).
    BB had J, J (full house, Jacks over fives).
    Outcome: BB won $286.20
  38. #563
    OP's Avatar
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  39. #564
    people who post bad beats when villain has 8 outs on the flop and 11 going into the river
    derp
  40. #565
    losing 100k hands in a row even tho u got dealt pocket jokers every time and the clowns at the table folded pf every time yet they still managed to take ur entire stack because stars has doomswitched u worse than anybody ever of all time everlasting eternity
  41. #566
    loserk1d Guest
    topics like this xP1
  42. #567
    Quote Originally Posted by dthorne04
    people who post bad beats when villain has 8 outs on the flop and 11 going into the river
    with 8 outs on the flop and 11 outs on the turn it's not a bad beat, but it titled me none the less, hence the post in this thread.
  43. #568
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    Stafford 16/37 205 0 3

    50 million bucks

    that tilts me
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  44. #569
    Being 6'5" and not fat trying to buy new clothes.
    Everything is either too short or too baggy.

    shopped for 3 hours today and bought absolutely nothing FML!
  45. #570
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    - being too chubby for 80% of my clothes, while the remaining 20% is in the laundry basket.

    - online religious debates. (IRL I stay away from them but online I somehow end up spending hours reading discussions.)

    - not being able to find a new rehearsal room for my band.
  46. #571
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    having to spend 20 hours writing up a lab report on circuits. 15 hours or so is me reviewing how a freakin circuit works because im a Chemistry major and not an Electrical Engineering Major or a Chemical Engineering Major. This is the first lab for the course, and it appears that I will never have to create a circuit for the lab, analyze one for any experiment, and there is no final so i wont need the knowledge for a test.

    Im spending 15 hours learning circuits just because.

    The remaining labs deal with topics i can do in my sleep. TILT
  47. #572
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    Circuits are easy bro.
    That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
  48. #573
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigred View Post
    xtr stand for exotic tranny retards
    yo
  49. #574
    JKDS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BooG690
    Circuits are easy bro.
    2nd semester physics, ya circuits were easy. V=IR and all that jazz, lets introduce capacitors and diodes too.

    400 level chem class: hey heres this thing called an op amp, an AC circuit, a voltage divider, and a bread board...all things ive never seen before.

    Im still frantically looking shit up and learning how all these work so i can answer retarded questions like

    "would you use a noninverting, an inverting, or an inverting with large resistors circuit to create a pH probe (Hint: a pH probe acts as a nonideal transducer)"

    i dont know what a transducer is either

    Also, apparently ive ruined a book for everyone on ftr and am extremely hated right now
  50. #575
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    we dont expect assholes like you to understand circuits!
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  51. #576
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    Quote Originally Posted by JKDS
    Also, apparently ive ruined a book for everyone on ftr and am extremely hated right now
    start making amends
    try posting hot naked chicks in the "sexy thread" and funny pics in the "LOL thread"
  52. #577
    when people from bumblefuck, sc come to visit you in philly or in nyc and think you're a dick when you don't give a dollar to every frickin' homeless person/street performer/disabled person there is.

    i'm not one of those "go getta job" types, but after seeing the 3 millionth homeless person, you start to realize that you can't save the world on a grad student budget.
  53. #578
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    Quote Originally Posted by surviva316
    when people from bumblefuck, sc come to visit you in philly or in nyc and think you're a dick when you don't give a dollar to every frickin' homeless person/street performer/disabled person there is.

    i'm not one of those "go getta job" types, but after seeing the 3 millionth homeless person, you start to realize that you can't save the world on a grad student budget.
    I'm totally one of those "go get a job types". I live in a town where there's plenty of work available and you will still see a bum standing in front of stores like Walmart or Superstore that have help wanted signs right on the window behind them.

    The reason they beg for money is simply because it works. If it didn't, they'd stop.


    Quote Originally Posted by sauce123
    I don't get why you insist on stacking off with like jack high all the time.
  54. #579
    bigred's Avatar
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    Bigred


    That motherfucker is too cool. He's making the rest of you look bad.
    LOL OPERATIONS
  55. #580
    Quote Originally Posted by XTR1000
    wufwugy´s signature
    why
  56. #581
    Quote Originally Posted by surviva316
    when people from bumblefuck, sc come to visit you in philly or in nyc and think you're a dick when you don't give a dollar to every frickin' homeless person/street performer/disabled person there is.

    i'm not one of those "go getta job" types, but after seeing the 3 millionth homeless person, you start to realize that you can't save the world on a grad student budget.
    I gave the Naked Cowboy like $10 for a picture and some other black dude with a funny sign about how ninjas killed his family...contributing to bums in NYC is more satisfying when they do tricks for money, unlike the one ones in NC who just stand there
  57. #582
    This fucking mouse I just bought.. The off-center laser makes for one epic fail mouse. All my horizontal wrist movements make it go 20 degrees up when moving left, 20 degrees down when going right. FGHDJKGEDG

    Some days it feels like I've been standing forever, waiting for the bank teller to return so I can cash in all these Sklansky Bucks.
  58. #583
    Um, I don't think the Naked Cowboy counts as a bum. I'm sure he makes more money than most of us here.
  59. #584
    flomo's Avatar
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    naked cowboy won a lawsuit against M&M's, i think he is doing alright
  60. #585
    Quote Originally Posted by KoRnholio
    This fucking mouse I just bought.. The off-center laser makes for one epic fail mouse. All my horizontal wrist movements make it go 20 degrees up when moving left, 20 degrees down when going right. FGHDJKGEDG

    I have this mouse and this isnt the case for me... its probably defective
  61. #586
    Mac lovers and their reasoning for why Macs are superior:

    "Macs are better because they are more expensive"
    "More people buy PCs because PCs are way cheaper"

    etc...

    ...feel free to add more dumb ass reasoning as to why Macs are awesome and PCs suck...
  62. #587
    Quote Originally Posted by Massimo
    Quote Originally Posted by KoRnholio
    This fucking mouse I just bought.. The off-center laser makes for one epic fail mouse. All my horizontal wrist movements make it go 20 degrees up when moving left, 20 degrees down when going right. FGHDJKGEDG

    I have this mouse and this isnt the case for me... its probably defective
    ya I think your mouse is defective. The placement of the eye should not matter so long as it isnt at the far front or far back of the mouse.
    You-- yes, you-- you're a cunt.
  63. #588
    will641's Avatar
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    people who put the frickin dirty dishes in the frickin sink when the frickin dishwasher is frickin 2 feet away.
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  64. #589
    Halv's Avatar
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    While Im home for christmas Im going in my friends studio to record some songs with my band. So I brought a ton of stuff with me, including a double bass drum pedal, cymbals, some drum pads, an electronic drum module and some guitar effects. Basically everything needed to record some kick ass tracks.

    Except I forgot to bring drumsticks. My home town is in the middle of nowhere, with no music shops even remotely close. So I have to record the whole thing using some beat up sticks I found in the attic.

    fuck
  65. #590
    Hardcore porn

    I shall forever remain astounded that heterosexual men actually choose to watch pornography starring a guy other than themselves. I can understand it if that's all there is, but it's not. Meanwhile, so much potentially great porn is ruined because for some weird reason dudes like seeing chicks get rammed by some douchebag.
  66. #591
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy
    Hardcore porn

    I shall forever remain astounded that heterosexual men actually choose to watch pornography starring a guy other than themselves. I can understand it if that's all there is, but it's not. Meanwhile, so much potentially great porn is ruined because for some weird reason dudes like seeing chicks get rammed by some douchebag.
    youre crazy. And on top of that you seem to be a pretty big homophobe.. That being said a lot of porn is ruined by some douchebags talking/grunting. Oh and dont forget camera angles. Srsly, who directs this shit? Watching a girl getting railed is great, but zooming in to the point that all you can see is a guys asshole, a cock, a vag and a girls asshole is really lame. I could understand a couple of these shots that lasted maybe 20 or 30 seconds at most at a time. However a lot of porno seems to be made up of mostly these shots that last several minutes at a time! Then they zoom out for like 20 seconds then zoom back in.
  67. #592
    Halv's Avatar
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    POV porn is the nuts. Hopefully they will shoot them in 3D in not too long
  68. #593
    I guess in some ways you could call me a homophobe, but reality is that no matter how much I may or may not like other males' sexuality, I absolutely fucking loathe bigotry and insults regarding homosexuality. I am disgusted that homosexuals are treated as second-class citizens, and that there is a sort of double standard in our society whereas we are 'tolerant' of gays, yet everything about our colloquialism and actions are incredibly derogatory towards gays.

    Our society is so fucking horrible towards gays that I guarantee that if I was gay nobody close to me would know. Not my family, not even my closest friends. It's fucking ridiculous, and I want to shove my foot down the throats of anybody who thinks of anybody differently because they're homosexual
  69. #594
    application invites on Face book are prolly the worst!
  70. #595
    Quote Originally Posted by boost
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy
    Hardcore porn

    I shall forever remain astounded that heterosexual men actually choose to watch pornography starring a guy other than themselves. I can understand it if that's all there is, but it's not. Meanwhile, so much potentially great porn is ruined because for some weird reason dudes like seeing chicks get rammed by some douchebag.
    youre crazy. And on top of that you seem to be a pretty big homophobe.. That being said a lot of porn is ruined by some douchebags talking/grunting. Oh and dont forget camera angles. Srsly, who directs this shit? Watching a girl getting railed is great, but zooming in to the point that all you can see is a guys asshole, a cock, a vag and a girls asshole is really lame. I could understand a couple of these shots that lasted maybe 20 or 30 seconds at most at a time. However a lot of porno seems to be made up of mostly these shots that last several minutes at a time! Then they zoom out for like 20 seconds then zoom back in.
    lol, if anyone gets turned on by these shots please tell me, because I can't work out how any director can think that 3 minutes of some guy's balls bouncing increases the heat.

    wuf, I absofuckinglutely agree with you about society's attitude towards gay people.

    As an aside, I really like sybian porn and possibly my favourite porno ever is Elle on sybian (just google it). Should I be seeing a shrink?
  71. #596
    reality fucking tv
  72. #597
    Quote Originally Posted by givememyleg
    reality fucking tv
    this.

    reality tv is like mmorpgs. When it first started it was new and different than the same recycled crappy sitcoms. But there is little to no content but instead just addictive little tidbits to string you along past the commercials and onto the next episode. And I hate the fact that they take up so much air time, yet provide nothing useful to the viewer. If I want something funny, I want to watch a show that was either well written, or that stars skilled improv comics. And if I want to actually learn something I most certainly am not going to look to reality tv.
  73. #598
    Quote Originally Posted by Ash256
    wuf, I absofuckinglutely agree with you about society's attitude towards gay people.
    Speaking of which, I come from a very fundy family, and my sister exemplifies this by freaking out if anybody even so much as uses the word 'gay' within earshot of my 8 and 4 year old nieces. Like my entire lineage, she believes that homosexuality is Satan's work and even a mere mention of it will send her pre-pubescent daughters into a muff smashing frenzy

    I don't have much respect for my family
  74. #599
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy
    Quote Originally Posted by Ash256
    wuf, I absofuckinglutely agree with you about society's attitude towards gay people.
    Speaking of which, I come from a very fundy family, and my sister exemplifies this by freaking out if anybody even so much as uses the word 'gay' within earshot of my 8 and 4 year old nieces. Like my entire lineage, she believes that homosexuality is Satan's work and even a mere mention of it will send her pre-pubescent daughters into a muff smashing frenzy

    I don't have much respect for my family
    kill them with grease fire.
  75. #600
    when a donks catches his river ugh

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