Weirdest Dreams You've Ever Experienced

[spoonitnow]

I had a dream a few nights ago that I was playing football at my old high school with and against a bunch of penguins. They communicated telepathically and each team had a different "frequency" (for lack of a better term) to communicate on so that you couldn't understand what the other team was saying.

I didn't play football in high school and I've never had sex with a penguin. Wtf?

[bigred]

Haha, penguin virgin

[Ragnar4]

I had a nightmare that I was running around the house searching for christmas presents when I was really young, and all of the towels were sentient. *Think dozens of "towlies" from southpark running around...* They decided I had been a bad boy and needed a spanking, so one got wet, wringed itself out, and proceeded to wetsnap me while the others held me down.

I was 6 and pretty traumatized. I also couldn't go anywhere near the 70's brown towels we had in our house until mom got rid of them... I also routinely did things to them to try to get them out of the house.. pee on them, light them on fire... bleach them.. etc.

I had one that pissed me off last night.. Trinity Harding (pornstar that I went to HS with) was naked in my bedroom and I wouldn't have sex with her because I was married... and she called me a pussy!

[swiggidy]

Had one where I was in an old mansi0n fighting vampires. The whole time there was a voice-over like it was the director's cut of a movie. So he's saying "In this scene I'm really trying to show the fear the protagonist is feeling" and I'm thinking "fuck yeah I'm scared, stop talking and help me"

[BankItDrew]

I remember my dreams after every morning that I wake up. So much randomness going on.

The weirdest dreams I've had were sex related and I'm too embarrassed to go into those.

[a500lbgorilla]

last night I had a dream that iopq pmed me asking me why I felt like everyone was a huge nit!

[wesrman]

I have crazy dreams every night and i have lucid dreams about 2-4 times per week. When i realize im dreaming i can fly (its more like floating).

[a500lbgorilla]

oh and 2 nights ago I dreamt that me and my friend were leading a big group people to a mansion/warehouse to avoid an on-coming sandstorm which would tear the skin off anyone who was exposed to it. Randy Couture and Kurt Angle + some other buff blonde-hair guy only present for comedic support were part of a terrorist organization after my friend for some reason. After we got everyone into beds with blankets over them or bathtubs with wooden planks protecting them (from the sand storm!) my buddy went to go fight Couture. obv they played dirty and broke his knee when he was coming down to fight them. So I did my best to get the shit beaten out of me while leading them outside where we all disintegrated in a sandstorm!

[ProZachNation]

May have posted this before but I had a dream I killed two of our family friend's children... I woke and thought I had done it for a few minutes in the post wake-up haze.

[bigspenda73]

I had a dream last night that three people talked me into robbing a bank, we then got into the safe, and left the bank w/o any money. A cop came by my house and took me in for questioning, but I skillfully passed his interrogation on the basis that his only proof was that we were seen leaving the bank.

A female cop then gave me a ride home and we proceeded to sex it up. She was quite attractive if I do say so myself. After sexytime the other cop came back and arrested me, but once again had to release me on lack of evidence. The female cop helped me get out of the charges since she was now head-over-heels in love with me.

I think we somehow got the money out via Ocean's 11 type trickery but I woke up so hopefully act II happens tonight!

Note of relevance: I was near black-out drunk when I fell asleep and I rarely dream and never remember them.

[Jack Sawyer]

its always something involving vampires

[thizzSantaCruz]

I have crazy dreams every night and i have lucid dreams about 2-4 times per week. When i realize im dreaming i can fly (its more like floating).

I was just about to ask if anyone has lucid dreams. I have a buddy who had one and his description of it was crazy. He wrote it down on paper after having it, and it was very long and creepy as hell. I would be interested in your experiences if you don't mind sharing.

[bode]

i rarely remember dreams in the morning. i know i have them, but cant remember anything. the only one i ever really remember is a reoccurring dream where i'm in college and wake up and realize i forgot to study for a test/forgot to finish a project.

[bigred]

Waking up next to UG every morning is my dream.

[wesrman]

I was just about to ask if anyone has lucid dreams. I have a buddy who had one and his description of it was crazy. He wrote it down on paper after having it, and it was very long and creepy as hell. I would be interested in your experiences if you don't mind sharing.

Ive always had very intense dreams and i remember a few almost every night. Aliens in the sky, missiles being shot at my town and landing in my back yard, talking to dead relatives etc.

The first time i realized i was dreaming was because of a recurring nightmare i had about a shark that was pulling me under water. I fought against the shark every night for over a week and would always wake up scared after it got me far enough under water. Then one night (while having the dream) i thought that it seemed familiar, and thought to myself im dreaming and if i let the shark pull me under water instead of struggling ill wake up. It worked and i never had the dream again.

After that, i started being able to figure out when i was dreaming and be able to do weird things like float. Now when ever i think i might be dreaming, usually because something seems off (for example someone im talking to doesnt look like themself), i attempt to float and if i can i know im dreaming. Ive actually tried it in real life before because something felt funny, but sadly it didnt work..lol. This is the most important part because if you dont have a way to find out you're dreaming you wont be able to get better at it. Ive heard of other things people use to "wake up" in their dreams like trying to read a clock (it wont have a time) or switching on a light switch (nothing will happen).The other night i was playing guitar but the strings were all retarded and i couldnt get it to play right and it dawned on my that i was dreaming. Its called a dream sign and it just has to be something that makes you think.

Once im floating its like a race against time because i know that very soon ill wake up. I guess this is because it takes lots of practice to be able to controll the dream for long periods of time. At first i would get all excited and wake up almost immediately, but im getting better at it now. Most of the time i just float from roof top to roof top but other times i see and talk to people and from time to time i can make people or things appear and other strange things happen, but im not that good at it.

From what ive read/experienced, if/when you become good, you can do anything you want and its like having a second life. Sex being the most interesting thing ldo. You can pretty much do anything you want, to whoever you want if you get real good at it.

And yes i know im weird and im ok with that.

Check out these sites:
http://www.lucidity.com/

http://www.dreamviews.com/whatislucid.php

[thizzSantaCruz]

I was just about to ask if anyone has lucid dreams. I have a buddy who had one and his description of it was crazy. He wrote it down on paper after having it, and it was very long and creepy as hell. I would be interested in your experiences if you don't mind sharing.

Ive always had very intense dreams and i remember a few almost every night. Aliens in the sky, missiles being shot at my town and landing in my back yard, talking to dead relatives etc.

The first time i realized i was dreaming was because of a recurring nightmare i had about a shark that was pulling me under water. I fought against the shark every night for over a week and would always wake up scared after it got me far enough under water. Then one night (while having the dream) i thought that it seemed familiar, and thought to myself im dreaming and if i let the shark pull me under water instead of struggling ill wake up. It worked and i never had the dream again.

After that, i started being able to figure out when i was dreaming and be able to do weird things like float. Now when ever i think i might be dreaming, usually because something seems off (for example someone im talking to doesnt look like themself), i attempt to float and if i can i know im dreaming. Ive actually tried it in real life before because something felt funny, but sadly it didnt work..lol. This is the most important part because if you dont have a way to find out you're dreaming you wont be able to get better at it. Ive heard of other things people use to "wake up" in their dreams like trying to read a clock (it wont have a time) or switching on a light switch (nothing will happen).The other night i was playing guitar but the strings were all retarded and i couldnt get it to play right and it dawned on my that i was dreaming. Its called a dream sign and it just has to be something that makes you think.

Once im floating its like a race against time because i know that very soon ill wake up. I guess this is because it takes lots of practice to be able to controll the dream for long periods of time. At first i would get all excited and wake up almost immediately, but im getting better at it now. Most of the time i just float from roof top to roof top but other times i see and talk to people and from time to time i can make people or things appear and other strange things happen, but im not that good at it.

From what ive read/experienced, if/when you become good, you can do anything you want and its like having a second life. Sex being the most interesting thing ldo. You can pretty much do anything you want, to whoever you want if you get real good at it.

And yes i know im weird and im ok with that.

Check out these sites:
http://www.lucidity.com/

http://www.dreamviews.com/whatislucid.php

I think my friend might have experienced something slightly different. His dream was very lifelike at first but he seemed to detach from his body. He could see his room and himself sleeping on his bed but he couldn't wake up. A huge string of events happened with him convincing a friend to call his cell phone to wake him up. He said throughout the dream he was terrified he would never be able to wake up again.

[a500lbgorilla]

I had a dream last night that three people talked me into robbing a bank, we then got into the safe, and left the bank w/o any money. A cop came by my house and took me in for questioning, but I skillfully passed his interrogation on the basis that his only proof was that we were seen leaving the bank.

A female cop then gave me a ride home and we proceeded to sex it up. She was quite attractive if I do say so myself. After sexytime the other cop came back and arrested me, but once again had to release me on lack of evidence. The female cop helped me get out of the charges since she was now head-over-heels in love with me.

I think we somehow got the money out via Ocean's 11 type trickery but I woke up so hopefully act II happens tonight!

Note of relevance: I was near black-out drunk when I fell asleep and I rarely dream and never remember them.

let's analyze other peoples dreams!

Alright, obv the first paragraph shows that you allow the world to come to you. You just want to be prepared for whatever comes your way but aren't ready to exactly steer the ship that is your life north, south, east, or west.

You leave the money because you're a good guy and feel that you have an edge over the world. You don't need to steal what you can easily earn!

Then the cop scene shows that you want to be one step ahead of anyone who questions you. It's easier or more comfortable to always have the answer when you're innocent under the parameters of a cop v suspect interrogation. Plus it shows that you lack any real fear in this one incident (though, I dunno why)

And finally, you totally just wanna get your dick wet!

[Chelle]

I have a lot of dreams where I'm killed, or hurt in some way. I wake up RIGHT before I actually die in the dream though.

Then for about 3 nights in a row I was dreaming about my dead grandpa's ghost that was telling me things that were actually going on irl. Like telling me that the only reason he had came back was because it had been 7 years since his death. Then Jesse was like, subconsciously you knew that.

Dreams like that still fuck with me. It's just creepy to hear someone's voice after they've been dead for so long, and for them to be telling you things that are happening outside of the dream world.

[a500lbgorilla]

uhhhh, I think your dreams mean that you feel very vulnerable and have a passive approach to life/living (like if god clicks your doomswitch, you'll just roll with it) opinions?

[bigspenda73]

Rilla4mod

[Numbr2intheWorld]

i dreamt that i called off my ipod with midpair, and lost

[Numbr2intheWorld]

My weirdest dream ever i wrote down in my myspace blog, here it is:



A really strange dream?

You may be wondering why there is a question mark after the title of this blog, it's because i'm am very unsure if this experience i had this morning was a dream or not. For now, i'll just assume it was a dream, but it was very, very strange.

I got home today and was very tired, so when i got back to my dorm i went straight to sleep. I felt like i was about to wake up, but it was completely different than that. I felt a little short of breath, and i felt a little scared. I "opened" my eyes a little bit, it was blurry. I had this feeling i was in a different place, i think my bed sheets were green, this room was definitely not my dorm. A voice, i'm pretty sure it was a womans, started saying "hello? hello?" she might have asked if i was up. I didn't respond.

I had this strange thought in my head of what was actually going on. I had the idea in my head that i was "waking up" to the real world, kind of like the Matrix. Either that, or i was in an afterlife place. But i didn't want to wake up, i wanted to go back to "normal" life because, well just because i felt like i still had things to do. It was almost a struggle, but i managed to close my eyes and i shortly woke up in my own bed. I forgot about my dream immediately, but i remembered it about 15 minutes ago and had to write it down.

This might be really weird, but i'm not sure that it was a dream... I mean, i think it's highly probable that it was, but i'm just not sure. This was definitely the strangest experience of my life.

[SaulPaul]

^thats a lucid dream. theyre unbelievably awesome once u realise whats happening.

strangest dream experience was at a festival. i kept waking up walking out my tent, then soemthing mad happening like get into a spontaneous car chase, and waking up. and walking out my tent, only to realise i was dreaming again, and had fallen asleep. this continued for about 7 or 8 times, unitl i forced myself to get out my tent before i would pass out again

[kevster]

uhhhh, I think your dreams mean that you feel very vulnerable and have a passive approach to life/living (like if god clicks your doomswitch, you'll just roll with it) opinions?

i think that dreams are just your mind running wild. No credence should be paid to them nor should they be analysed - they're meaningless IMO although sometimes entertaining/bemusing.

I had one last night where we were flying into Japan. It's a steep descent because of the skyscrapers but there was a problem. Because we were low on fuel we couldn't fly in that way and didn't make it. We crashed on a road on top of a couple of cars. No problem - the damage was minimal so the pilot just drove the plane to the airport along the road. Wat?????

[a500lbgorilla]

yah, dreams are just your brain unloading thoughts which is why I can usually pin down certain aspects of dreams based on what was on television while I slept all night.

but it doesn't mean this isn't a fun exercise!

[WillburForce]

wow - after reading this, especially the stuff Wes says about lucid dreams, It got me thinking about my weird dreams - and turns out I have something rare called Exploding Head Syndrome. Seriously. Google it.

I've always suffered from sleep paralysis quite frequently, and get this really weird noises sometimes - sounds like a fkin bomb going off - I've never really thought much off it, but it turns out theres a name for it. Weird.

[thizzSantaCruz]

wow - after reading this, especially the stuff Wes says about lucid dreams, It got me thinking about my weird dreams - and turns out I have something rare called Exploding Head Syndrome. Seriously. Google it.

I've always suffered from sleep paralysis quite frequently, and get this really weird noises sometimes - sounds like a fkin bomb going off - I've never really thought much off it, but it turns out theres a name for it. Weird.

Sleep paralysis, that's what I was looking for. Is that different than lucid dreams or just another word for it.

[wesrman]

Sleep paralysis, that's what I was looking for. Is that different than lucid dreams or just another word for it.

Its different, but similar at the same time. I get this quite a bit and can usually wake myself up by shaking myself.

The funny thing is that it happened to me last night for the first time in a while.

[wufwugy]

I was playing live poker at the casino. My first hand it gets raised and I fold, heads up to the flop. By the turn board reads Q982, and the two players are allin. The first player flips 10 J for nut straight. Second player says "I'm a favorite" and flips Q 9 and a piece of bread with peanut butter and jelly spread across it. The river is another piece of bread, completing his draw to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

[triumphant cracker]

my dream is one i have all the time..at least 2xs a week....

im being led down into a dungon,dark and dirty...i see on my left ( they are yelling at me and swearin and chanting) are all the women ive had sex with (more than most)..on my right..my family and ( they are quiet) friends... i the middle is a rock tabe with a body all covered up and a guy with a beheading axe standing over him. i walk closer to see the body and notice tha axe guy is me. and i pull the cloth off the body and thats me also...then i look at the axe man and he's about to chop the head...and all of a sudden i'm lookin throgh the axe man's eyes. and i chop the head and i wake up then...


fuckin weird...care to explain?

[thizzSantaCruz]

I was playing live poker at the casino. My first hand it gets raised and I fold, heads up to the flop. By the turn board reads Q982, and the two players are allin. The first player flips 10 J for nut straight. Second player says "I'm a favorite" and flips Q 9 and a piece of bread with peanut butter and jelly spread across it. The river is another piece of bread, completing his draw to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Copyright infrigment.


I was just sitting here in class and all of a sudden a dream I had last nite came back to me.

Me and 3 buddies are in a small room with a cement floor, a skateboard and a box ( the skateboard kind that you can grind on ). I'm in flip flops and my friends are messing around on the skateboard. We all haven't skated in a long time so there rusty. I want to bust out so I get on the board in my flip flops. I don't want to shred my foot so this severly limits the tricks I can do. I skate by the box and bust a perfectly clean shove-it. My friends all gasp and I think they think I'm better than I really am. I now attempt a frontside shove-it and flick the board way too hard bouncing it off all 4 walls. We all laugh. I get on the board and skate crouching down ready to explode up into a trick.....and then the tail snaps.

[thizzSantaCruz]

my dream is one i have all the time..at least 2xs a week....

im being led down into a dungon,dark and dirty...i see on my left ( they are yelling at me and swearin and chanting) are all the women ive had sex with (more than most)..on my right..my family and ( they are quiet) friends... i the middle is a rock tabe with a body all covered up and a guy with a beheading axe standing over him. i walk closer to see the body and notice tha axe guy is me. and i pull the cloth off the body and thats me also...then i look at the axe man and he's about to chop the head...and all of a sudden i'm lookin throgh the axe man's eyes. and i chop the head and i wake up then...


fuckin weird...care to explain?

If you continue womanizing at the current rate your gonna get an STD effectively killing yourself.

[Robb]

Got home and my friend's baby is sitting happily on the counter in my kitchen. I head over to my friend's house, and he and his wife calmly ask if I've seen the kid. I'm like "oh yeah I forgot, he's in my kitchen - I'll bring him over later." But then I forget again, and don't take him back til the next day. And they don't freak out.

Probably just means I'm an awful parent and know it subconciously.

[Ltrain]

Lucid dreams are great, especially when in the dream you have the ability to fly or jump/fly like the incredible hulk. Usually though, as soon as I am lucid, I grab the first hot girl in my dream I pass and start having sex with her; kind of like Mel Brooks as the king in the History of the World pt. 1.

[gabe]

i have always had pretty cool dreams, seems like i go weeks where i have a bunch of them then weeks where i dont remember any. after reading this i told myself to remember them and i had this one, that i just put on rootbone

"there are 5 super smart police detectives. one is a robot, one is me, one is just some guy, one is julia louis-dreyfus, and one is this grizzly bearded guy with an eye patch and trench coat. we are all at the police station talking about this super bad criminal we have locked up in some super tough cell. apparently we don’t have enough evidence to prosecute him or something but we have him locked up for now. the robot makes an advance on julia and she handles it in typical hilarious elaine fashion. the conversation shifts to talking about how there have been lots of thefts around the station lately.

all of a sudden we all notice the grizzly crazy looking one-eyed detective pick up a chair and start running for the exit. everyone starts yelling and chasing him and he is apprehended. we have caught the office thief! yay!!! the police detective thats just some guy questions him and the bearded cyclops admits to trying to steal this office chair, and he then suggests we lock him up with the super bad criminal. i start to realize that the hairy pirate of a detective is not the real thief, he just wants a reason to get put in the cell with the super bad guy so he can execute some plan that will make everyone know that the bad guy is really guilty. i’m only kinda sure this is what hes thinking, because i woke up before i could see his plan play out."

[SaulPaul]

anyone had an outer body experience in a dream?

[a500lbgorilla]

everyone goes to the nth level in gabe's dreams

[spoonitnow]

i have always had pretty cool dreams, seems like i go weeks where i have a bunch of them then weeks where i dont remember any. after reading this i told myself to remember them and i had this one, that i just put on rootbone

"there are 5 super smart police detectives. one is a robot, one is me, one is just some guy, one is julia louis-dreyfus, and one is this grizzly bearded guy with an eye patch and trench coat. we are all at the police station talking about this super bad criminal we have locked up in some super tough cell. apparently we don’t have enough evidence to prosecute him or something but we have him locked up for now. the robot makes an advance on julia and she handles it in typical hilarious elaine fashion. the conversation shifts to talking about how there have been lots of thefts around the station lately.

all of a sudden we all notice the grizzly crazy looking one-eyed detective pick up a chair and start running for the exit. everyone starts yelling and chasing him and he is apprehended. we have caught the office thief! yay!!! the police detective thats just some guy questions him and the bearded cyclops admits to trying to steal this office chair, and he then suggests we lock him up with the super bad criminal. i start to realize that the hairy pirate of a detective is not the real thief, he just wants a reason to get put in the cell with the super bad guy so he can execute some plan that will make everyone know that the bad guy is really guilty. i’m only kinda sure this is what hes thinking, because i woke up before i could see his plan play out."

Dude I hate it so much when I'm having some really interesting dream and can't figure something out and wake up before I find out what was going on. It's like having to leave right before the climax of a movie or something.

[a500lbgorilla]

ive always noticed that i always know what is going to happen and im just trying to put the scene to the plot with a lot of my dreams

[wesrman]

as soon as I am lucid, I grab the first hot girl in my dream I pass and start having sex with her; kind of like Mel Brooks as the king in the History of the World pt. 1.

OK good im not the only one.

[Chelle]

Last night I had a dream about trying to cross a bridge [on foot], and then all of a sudden waves start crashing, over the bridge, and I somehow get a hold of a metal beam, so I don't get washed away, but everytime I thought that the water waves had stopped, they came again. So I would wait and wait and wait. After a while of that, the waves died down, and I crossed the bridge, only to find my family was completely clueless to what happened.

It was odd.

[bode]

I was playing live poker at the casino. My first hand it gets raised and I fold, heads up to the flop. By the turn board reads Q982, and the two players are allin. The first player flips 10 J for nut straight. Second player says "I'm a favorite" and flips Q 9 and a piece of bread with peanut butter and jelly spread across it. The river is another piece of bread, completing his draw to the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

verbatim from 2+2

[animal_chin]

as soon as I am lucid, I grab the first hot girl in my dream I pass and start having sex with her; kind of like Mel Brooks as the king in the History of the World pt. 1.

OK good im not the only one.

I've only had one lucid dream and that's what I tried to do, but I woke up to fast.

Anyways. I have these stupid annoying dreams every once in awhile. They start when you just go to sleep, when you are in that half awake state and half sleep state. I usually imagine I'm walking down the street. Then I usually trip over a crack in the sidewalk. I jerk awake. Usually if I trip it actually seems like I actually am tripping in real life because my foot/leg is the one jerking and spazing out while I suddenly wake up.

[wufwugy]

u guys calling me a liar?

[SaulPaul]

no, just calling u out

[SaulPaul]

actually had the first lucid dream in months last night, cos of this thread

[wesrman]

actually had the first lucid dream in months last night, cos of this thread

They say that the more you think about them, the more they happen.

I actually jerk awake before I have lucid dreams, sucks for me.

I actually jerk awake before I have lucid dreams, sucks for me.

[Ltrain]

This thread reminds me of the Kids in the Hall skit over the Pear

"I had the Pear dream again..."

[EasyT]

One dream, I was pregnant AND gave birth in spite of all my years being a dude.

Another, I cut off both of my feet and one of my hands with a hatchet as I was being burried alive. Figured it was better to bleed to death at that juncture.

[a500lbgorilla]

you are one fcked up dude

[Chelle]

you are one fcked up dude

[spoonitnow]

I actually jerk adude before I have lucid dreams, sucks for me.

[bjsaust]

I have the lucid dreams sometimes a couple times a weak, sometimes not for a fair while. I often become more and more aware that I'm dreaming, they generally end as I realise I more and more need to wake up and pee, and I struggle to stay asleep a bit longer but eventually need to wake up.

I dont tend to fly off or anything though, its more that I have more control over the dream. Maybe I just enjoy the story too much. They're really vivid and often fairly strange, however whilst I remember them clearly on waking, within a couple hours I forget the details.

[a500lbgorilla]

I am with my family, my wife and our daughter who is about 14. There is plenty of family to speak about and we're all there in a pensive mood. All of our many workers are moving around our huge estate doing their jobs when 3 old men approach. It's acknowledge that I am some sort of living mechanism of peace in jewish lore. The take a drop of my blood and use it in this huge shallow bowl filled with still water. The first thing you see is the word "shorter" come into focus. I'm sure it has to do with life span. Then next are, as clear as day, the pages of a book. This is the story of my life and I see something that clues me into the fact that all of our workers were actually body doubles of the bad guys who want me dead. There is an epic knife fight while the 3 old wise men pull out guns and start capping bitches. I'm flying around trying to save my daughter and wife picking up anything I can find to fight off a dozen knife wielding house-workers! Eventually, we start to climb the stairs as the enemy arms himself with guns. On the second floor there is more knife-fighting and gun-play. I constantly rearm myself and do clever shit with my perfect marksmanship like bullseye people through walls or take a peak out of one hole in this swiss cheese wall and then shoot out of another one. My daughter and wife stick together and my wife is badass. Eventually my grandmother who was with us the whole time it seemed grabs a knife and tries to jump me, KABLAM, lead right through her head! I can remember a lof of the awesome shit that went down in the firefight but in the end we get off the roof and start climbing this hill. Everyone seems upbeat with how much the bad guys suck until I see one ambidexterous bad guy fire two rounds in our direction. I get hit in the hip of one leg and the inner hip of the other. My wife who is already like 20 yrds ahead shoots the bad guy as I stagger and fall. The old guys, my wife and daughter come sprinting back for me as I wake up.

Seriously one of the coolest dreams I've had. I seriously felt like I was there fighting for my life in a shit-storm attack. Obv I wake up and dash to this thread!