12) "You cant respect someone who kisses your ass."
Ah, Ferris Bueller. There are others from that movie, but I'll pass...

"My son's getting his engineering degree, top twenty of his class... I don't even know how velcro works."

"Well, it ain't Ozzie and Harriet."

'Ooh' and 'aah' is how it always starts. Then 'ooh' and 'aah' turns into running and screaming."

"The Nanny State soon will need a cautionary tale, so I have written one for them: When they came for the smokers I kept silent because I don't smoke. When they came for the meat eaters I kept silent because I'm a vegetarian. When they came for the gun owners I kept silent because I'm a pacifist. When they came for the drivers I kept silent because I'm a bicyclist. They never did come for me. I'm still here because there's nobody left in the secret police except sissies with rickets."

"The pen is mightier than the sword. That may be because the pen will get through the metal detector."

"A couple of years back, I began some generalization or other by saying, "The difference between America and Canada is . . ." And the American I was imparting this insight to interrupted me with: "The difference between America and Canada is that Americans don't care what the difference between America and Canada is."

"Finally, I would remind you to notice where the claim of consensus is invoked. Consensus is invoked only in situations where the science is not solid enough. Nobody says the consensus of scientists agrees that E=mc2. Nobody says the consensus is that the sun is 93 million miles away. It would never occur to anyone to speak that way. "

“War is a series of catastrophes that end in victory.”

“Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.”

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane."