When should you tip a waiter or waitress?

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In many states "wage" is total earnings, or "payroll + tips", and it is legal (though I've never heard of anyone doing this) for the employer to collect all tips which are in excess of minimum wage from their employees.

An employer could have a restaurant that did not accept cash, and all transactions were credit/debit. This would mean that all tips are actually handled through the employer. (This is actually common in the 4-star and 5-star restaurant industry.) Since all of the money goes through the employer, the employer can decide exactly how much of your tips you get to have and how much they get to have.

I worked in a place like this where you earned "points" through seniority and training. So while I was working there, I was getting less than 1/2 the share of tips as someone who had been there for 10 years or so.

I'm fine with performance based pay. I'm just saying there are places that handle tips differently than Denny's.

Dude, what, no. If the employer is keeping any portion of the tip pool, they are breaking the law. This is true for all 50 states afaik, and when it's not, it's a huge exception to the rule.

Awarding points due to seniority is really ridiculous, and really defeats the purpose of a tip pool. A tip pool should encourage better service by encouraging team work, instead of an every-man-for-himself atmosphere. Whoever was running that restaurant sounds like a fucking moran.

So in effect, on a slow night you could sometimes be actually tipping the restaurant owner. Well that sucks.

And herein lies an interesting issue. The employer is essentially guilting the customer into subsidizing his staff. Why would customers not be happier simply paying more for a consistent well trained staff?

What is to stop a server from just "being real" and doing a good job without acting like the guy from Chotchkies in Office Space?

You're setting up a false dichotomy, but whatever... the fact is that customers don't know how to appreciate "being real." Some do, but most are looking for some level of Chotchkiness. They are so used to it, that they don't even realize that they are having these demeaning fake interactions with someone every time they go out to eat. And I'd argue that most servers don't even recognize that they are doing it. It is a product of the tipping system.

Then there's the issue of a service economy to begin with. It's such a weird web of nonsense, where a large swath of the participants are expected to be subservient at work, but then want to enjoy the subservience of others when they go out. It's an economy where everyone ends up feeling entitled to be treated like a fucking prince or princess everywhere they go. Then they get their panties all in a bunch when it's not exactly how they wished it would be. Newsflash, you're not royalty.

With risk and inconsistency comes great reward. Serving can be one of the best paying non-skilled / non-educated jobs on the planet, depending on the restaurant of course.

It is only a non-skilled non-educated job for shitty servers. It's possible to get these jobs with no skill and no education, because the employer's investment is so minimal.

It seems like flagrant "up-selling" is a gambit though. If it is off-putting to the customer, that should theoretically reflect in your tip.

That's why it's a tip-boosting as well as check-boosting trick. Obv you aren't going to get a two top to order five entrees... and why are we even discussing flagrant upselling? The tactic, flagrant or not, is disingenuous and deceitful. It is not good service, and it is a by-product of the tipping scheme. It belies the true nature of a tipped employee, who is not there for good service, but is there to try to fleece the customer.