who is the real 500lb gorilla?

[soupie]

I am just trying out my new avatar.

Please vote for the real gorilla and feel free to post your comments.

[LeFou]

Soupie you're really valuable to the community and all but you should be banned for this.

[a500lbgorilla]

You can't touch this shit.

-'rilla


A small side note: You owe me lunch becuase I just lost mine.

Only a500lbgorilla can be the real gorilla. I'm sorry, but there can be NO replacements. Period.

[TylerK]

Soupie you're really valuable to the community and all but you should be banned for this.

quoted for truth.

[zenbitz]

Aside from the felonious assault on our eyes... I gotta wonder... Did he just have this pic lying around? Did some secret admirer send it? An old college buddy?

Or did he use google image seach for "orca fat"???

A purely rhetorical question...

[Humphrind]

Because Fishstick is gone on Holibob, I feel a responsibility to turn in this banning request for on soupie. It's what fishy would want.

Xainti, would you please process this for me?

[Aces]

Soupie - it's hard to read your posts with that traffic-accident-of-an-avatar staring at me Make it stop

[astrodon]

Just roll'r in flour and hunt for the wet spot - that's poker!

Because Fishstick is gone on Holibob, I feel a responsibility to turn in this banning request for on soupie. It's what fishy would want.

Xainti, would you please process this for me?

Nice to see my word is becoming part of the FTR dictionary of words!

[jokerindapack]

Ok since I'm still new and I don't know all you guys that well I hope it doesn't come out the wrong way but...soupie is that what happens now a days when you kiss the frog Well at least she's not in an FTR Thong that wouldn't be right...or would it.

[a500lbgorilla]

Well at least she's not in an FTR Thong

She'd need 4.

-'rilla

[Corey]

Guys I am so sorry.


But I cant stop staring at my tits!!!

[whileone]

First it turns out lhoney is a guy. hmm, ok.
now i find out Corey is a girl.

you guys are wierd. or girls. or ... ahhh, hell i dunno.

Flop turn river, home to the poker playingest gender benders on the 'net.

[Corey]

First it turns out lhoney is a guy. hmm, ok.
now i find out Corey is a girl.

you guys are wierd. or girls. or ... ahhh, hell i dunno.

Flop turn river, home to the poker playingest gender benders on the 'net.

rofl dude

I am a guy i refered to my tits becuase of the avatar!

[a500lbgorilla]

Whatever, fatty.

-'rilla

[Aceofone]

I voted for souie because she is a real gorilla. On the other hand she's probably a666lbgorilla. There can be only one 500llrilla.

[elanto]

soupie plzz change that horrendus thing you call a human being, thats just wa whale, not a gorilla, i have stopped reading your posts, I cant watch 32 of those...things ughhhhh ....lol


-anto

[soupie]

Hey guys,

Thanks for all the responses. I have not laughed that hard in years. As some of you may know i am real serious about poker, but that doesnt mean i have lost my sense of humor.

A little more humor. This following is about the funniest think i have ever read.

Soupie

Chilli Cookoff
Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

"Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:


Chilli # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.


Chilli # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


Chilli # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.


Chilli # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills, that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. Is chilli an aphrodisiac?


Chilli # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!


Chilli # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!


Chilli # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.


Chilli # 8: Mount Saint Helen's Chili

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he would have reacted to a really hot chili?
FRANK: -------------- (editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

[a500lbgorilla]

Oh, soupie. You're so silly.

But seriously: No more fat chicks.

-'rilla

[Xianti]

soupie, for the love of all that is good...!

[jokerindapack]

Does it make me a sicko if I liked the 1st one better?

[bigspenda73]

This thread is worthless w/o pics

[gabe]

im gonna say this is a dumb thread just so all the soupie loving lurkers (but former posters) will come out just to bash me

[jyms]

oooooooooooooohhhh Chilibumpaments is my favorite.

[bigspenda73]

someone tell Soupie I bumped this plz....

[lolzzz_321]

SOMEONE TELL POOH BEAR THIS HAS BEEN BUMPED

[a500lbgorilla]

good thread, guys.

[bigred]

Just roll'r in flour and hunt for the wet spot - that's poker!

Pure gold.