Stripper Etiquette

Are strippers normal people just like me? Not by any stretch of the means, but there are some guidelines for proper strip club behavior. What are some strip club guidelines and etiquette?


1.DO treat lap dances like rounds. Buy them for your friends and have them buy them for you.

2.DON'T comment on how well stretch marks or c-section scars show up under blacklight.

3.DO tip the ugly dancers at least a dollar when you send them into the VIP lounge or dressing room to fetch a sexier dancer at your request. They have kids to feed, too.

4.DON'T ask about a stripper’s personal life. Ever. Unless you want what little faith in humanity you have shattered.

5.DON'T try to tip the stripper with a sandwich. You will get kicked out.

6.DO NOT get into an argument with a stupid stripper. No matter what you say, she will state some inflated earning potential ("I make $700 a night") as the very definition of her existence, which justifies everything she's ever done with her wasted life as correct. No matter if she couldn’t earn $7 stripping at a dog track, she’ll still say it. As a general rule, take what any ugly stripper says she earns and divide by ten, then divide by 2 for her true earning potential.


Keep em rollin guys!

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Originally Posted by Squeaky_Midget1

4.DON'T ask about a stripper’s personal life. Ever. Unless you want what little faith in humanity you have shattered.

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Further to this, if she has one, do NOT make reference to her black eye(s) in any way. Pretend not to notice it and you shall be rewarded.

Show interest in mediocre-looking eastern-european strippers. They'll do A LOT :h: to try and convince you to give them money, and it'll take them quite a while to realize you aren't gunna give them any money.

Oh wait. That's like...the opposite of etiquette or something...

Valuable information here.

some stripper - "heyyy there, my name is mary! *wink*"
some ftr guy - "oh, i don't care what your name is"

I don't want to know your name, I just want to go bang bang.
But since I can't even tickle yer clit, I ain't gunna give you shit.

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Originally Posted by givememyleg

some stripper - "heyyy there, my name is mary! *wink*"
some ftr guy - "oh, i don't care what your name is"

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good times
good times

you forgot - Don't give a stripper Monoploy money and then try to tell her you gave her fake money because her tits are fake.

Eidt: That joke was so much funnier last night when Larry the Cable Guy said it.

Don't eat the chicken fingers.

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Originally Posted by bigspenda73

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Originally Posted by givememyleg

some stripper - "heyyy there, my name is mary! *wink*"
some ftr guy - "oh, i don't care what your name is"

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good times
good times

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he he

DO pay them in tourney chips with no actual value. J/K kinda
DON'T Get too drunk and try to make dinner dates with them

Don't take the dollar bill out with your teeth

Wow... this is a topic I could go on and on about... I spent many years spending many nights in these clubs...

Some others...

No matter what she says, her real name will never be known to you. She has at least two... one for the stage and one for dorks like you who think you want to get to know her.

Always shun the hottest stripper in the club, she won't dance for shit for you and she expect to get majorly paid for poor performance.

Always get dances from the mid-range strippers in the club... they are there for action and to earn the $$ so they work harder for it.

Always check TUSCL.com before going to an out-of town club, well worth the time to get reviews of clubs from actual guys who spend time there.

Never get totally hammered at an out of town club, you don't know where you will end up and you'll be broke when you get there.

Always learn the bartender/server name. Don't ask them to get you dancers, that is your job.

Don't look like a desperate fool, you've seen boobies before, let them come to you... and if you are only semi-interested they work harder for your attention...


Ok... OBVIOUSLY I spent too much time in these clubs... for more details let me know... i can comment on a number of the clubs or methodologies...

I've heard this before and its so true...Its ok to date a stripper (recommended at least once), but never ever marry a stripper.

Never ask " show me your dick! "
You will get kicked in the face

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Originally Posted by allabout

I've heard this before and its so true...Its ok to date a stripper (recommended at least once), but never ever marry a stripper.

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I did, it's something I brag about when I'm drunk and regret when I'm sober.

5. Have your money handy and never pull out more than you intent to give her. I had one stripper go from very sexual to stripper rage when I wouldn't order another lapdance after I had pulled out a wallet completely stuffed with cash.

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Originally Posted by thizzSantaCruz

5. Have your money handy and never pull out more than you intent to give her. I had one stripper go from very sexual to stripper rage when I wouldn't order another lapdance after I had pulled out a wallet completely stuffed with cash.

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Should have told her to touch her toes in the parking lot.

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Originally Posted by Monty3038

Wow... this is a topic I could go on and on about... I spent many years spending many nights in these clubs...

Some others...

No matter what she says, her real name will never be known to you. She has at least two... one for the stage and one for dorks like you who think you want to get to know her.

Always shun the hottest stripper in the club, she won't dance for shit for you and she expect to get majorly paid for poor performance.

Always get dances from the mid-range strippers in the club... they are there for action and to earn the $$ so they work harder for it.

Always check TUSCL.com before going to an out-of town club, well worth the time to get reviews of clubs from actual guys who spend time there.

Never get totally hammered at an out of town club, you don't know where you will end up and you'll be broke when you get there.

Always learn the bartender/server name. Don't ask them to get you dancers, that is your job.

Don't look like a desperate fool, you've seen boobies before, let them come to you... and if you are only semi-interested they work harder for your attention...


Ok... OBVIOUSLY I spent too much time in these clubs... for more details let me know... i can comment on a number of the clubs or methodologies...

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I think we may be twins

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Originally Posted by thizzSantaCruz

5. Have your money handy and never pull out more than you intent to give her. I had one stripper go from very sexual to stripper rage when I wouldn't order another lapdance after I had pulled out a wallet completely stuffed with cash.

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Ah... the biggest mistake of a noob strip club visitor... using your wallet.

Rule #1 put your money in a clip, in your pocket, preferably your chest pocket... put the 100's on the outside, 1's on the inside. Know how much you have at all times without counting, never put more than you intend to spend in the roll at one time. Always have a few 5's and 10's.

When the dance is over, pay what you intend to, it is ok to throw a few singles in during the dance too for encouragement... but never let the woman dictate what you pay for the dance, pay what it was worth... but don't be afraid to pay for it. Always pull out the clip within the last 30 seconds of the song, flip to what you intend to pay and get it ready, then return the clip to your pocket.

Don't ever be intimidated into a dance or allow yourself to be told you're cheap... they are there to EARN it... not just stand there and EXPECT it.

If there are table minimums ($5, $10) don't be afraid to only pay the minimum unless you get a very good performance. Also don't be shy about taking 2-for-1 deals when announced by the DJ... these are great opportunities for the dancer to give a little extra, and when she does be sure to pay for two dances, not one...

Ok, now I'm just getting too detailled.

My one buddy has the best luck in clubs where he goes in and doesn't appear to care, won't smile, etc. The girls all try very hard to get him to smile, which he usually does when returnning from the back room.

Strip clubs bore me, I don't like what I can't touch...

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Originally Posted by bigred

Strip clubs bore me, I don't like what I can't touch...

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This. Plus it costs many monies.

Buying drinks for random girls (which I've never done) is probably a more +EV line

I like to talk to them to give them hope and then say no thanks, like I thought they really were just interested in talking to me, and not in my money.

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Originally Posted by bigred

Strip clubs bore me, I don't like what I can't touch...

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Ah yes, the old I don't like boobies line ;)

You are going to too high class of a club if you can't touch.

Also, if you aren't attracted to what was at home (as it used to be for me years ago) you go for inspiration.

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Originally Posted by bigred

Strip clubs bore me, I don't like what I can't touch...

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Strip clubs in South Florida (including Tampa) ftw

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Originally Posted by GatorJH

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Originally Posted by bigred

Strip clubs bore me, I don't like what I can't touch...

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Strip clubs in South Florida (including Tampa) ftw

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Man, I haven't been to Tampa in 5-6 years but damn they had the best I've seen. The dance where they take you to the floor and dance like standing sex... that is pretty hot, also they have some of the best clubs in general... or they did.

they are still good, but South Florida (Miami/Boca Raton area) are way better these days.

Never been to Miami/Boca, Daytona had at least one good one in the past. Ohio has tons of clubs, only a few good ones though. I've heard Windsor Ontario has quite a few good ones.

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Originally Posted by Monty3038

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Originally Posted by bigred

Strip clubs bore me, I don't like what I can't touch...

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Ah yes, the old I don't like boobies line ;)

You are going to too high class of a club if you can't touch.

Also, if you aren't attracted to what was at home (as it used to be for me years ago) you go for inspiration.

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Nope...rather take girls home from bar...

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Originally Posted by bigred

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Originally Posted by Monty3038

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bigred

Strip clubs bore me, I don't like what I can't touch...

---

Ah yes, the old I don't like boobies line ;)

You are going to too high class of a club if you can't touch.

Also, if you aren't attracted to what was at home (as it used to be for me years ago) you go for inspiration.

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Nope...rather take girls home from bar...

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True... but when your wife is there, kind of puts a crimp into that.

pics?

Seriously here are my stripper rules, I've probably been to 10-12 clubs in my life for a total of 30-40 times. I did date a stripper when I lived in Vegas for about 6 weeks, yea, not as cool as you'd think. It sucks when a women who makes your weekly salary in a night won't pay for anything because she's so used to men taking care of everything. IM A BROKE-ASS GOLF PRO BITCH. I met her at a BBQ hosted by a member from my club, not at the strip club.

Anyways, here is what I can think off the top of my head from hanging out with her and her friends for a few months:

1. Do NOT treat them like they are a real person, guys that are nice to strippers are the ones that spend $200 to get a lap-dance in the VIP Room while some asshole just paid $40 for dome.

2. Do NOT ask them out, try to get their number, etc... They won't give you their number, and if they do give you a number, it won't be the right one. The only way to actually get it is if they offer it to you, but that means you broke rule #1 and were nice to them, so fuck you.

3. DO tip the Door-man/bouncer if you are a regular and there is no cover. If you're from out of town (usually paying a cover) and just there once I see no reason; however, it's always good to have the house on your side.

4. Do NOT hit on the cocktail waitresses, you're in a club staring a naked disgusting women, she is not going to find that attractive.

5. Do NOT wear a big clanky belt, should be self-explanatory.

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Originally Posted by bigspenda73

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Originally Posted by givememyleg

some stripper - "heyyy there, my name is mary! *wink*"
some ftr guy - "oh, i don't care what your name is"

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good times
good times

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oh man that was a classic...

balla

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Originally Posted by Monty3038

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Originally Posted by bigred

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Originally Posted by Monty3038

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Originally Posted by bigred

Strip clubs bore me, I don't like what I can't touch...

---

Ah yes, the old I don't like boobies line ;)

You are going to too high class of a club if you can't touch.

Also, if you aren't attracted to what was at home (as it used to be for me years ago) you go for inspiration.

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Nope...rather take girls home from bar...

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True... but when your wife is there, kind of puts a crimp into that.

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It's my fault your stuck to one vagina for the rest of your life? :)

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Originally Posted by bigspenda73

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Originally Posted by allabout

I've heard this before and its so true...Its ok to date a stripper (recommended at least once), but never ever marry a stripper.

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I did, it's something I brag about when I'm drunk and regret when I'm sober.

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Haha she gave you a lifelong souvenir didn't she?

more like set me up to be sexually disappointed by every women I've slept with since her.

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Originally Posted by bigspenda73

more like set me up to be sexually disappointed by every women I've slept with since her.

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the clap will do that