Assuming I had an unrealistic amount of political muscle...
- The first major piece of legislation would be campaign finance reform. I would deadlock Congress until it passed. I'm not sure what the bill would look like, but its effects would be in making it impossible for special interests to donate to campaigns. All donations would be transparent and achieve a cap based in median income. If a president passed something this powerful, they would be one of the best in history because this is pretty much the only way to keep the country from eventually becoming a full blown Corporatocracy IMO
- Universal health care. I don't give a fuck what anybody says, everybody gets care, and the richies are going to pay for it with their taxes. However, much high cost care/low effectiveness care will not be universal.
- Drug war ends immediately. All drugs become regulated
- Prostitution also would be legal, but very heavily regulated. Every unmarried man on the planet would try to move to the US since we would have an awesome business of the Girlfriend Experience, and everybody will find that intimacy is much easier with contracts. The GFE would become very respectable and lucrative, and probably one of the more popular businesses for both women and men to get into.
- All foreign war ends immediately. Okay, maybe not immediately, but really damn quickly, and a majority of troops stationed everywhere (like Germany) are reassigned. But that doesn't mean that military spending decreases. On the contrary, all troops would be allocated elsewhere. I would push for greater cooperation with UN, EU, NATO, Russia, China, etc to end world hunger. We already have enough aid, but we don't have the means of protecting that aid, and that's what the our militaries would be used for. Also, all black site imprisonment ends.
- The Patriot Act gets overturned. The correct response to 9/11 was to amend the communication barriers between intelligence agencies, not take away rights and invade a nation
- Online poker obv legal
- Illegal immigration ends, and Mexico is treated like a brother instead of the red-headed step child. The border would become completely locked down; no more US firearms reach the gangs in Mexico, and no more Mexican drugs and illegals reach the US. Instead, tremendous amount of financial, technical, and professional (even militaristic) aid would be provided to Mexico to help them clean up their streets and government and make that step from a second world country to a first world country from which it's citizens don't wanna emigrate.
- Every school, no matter where they're located or how the children perform, receives ample finances to modernize their infrastructure and pay teachers very well. The teaching profession would experience a paradigm shift. Pay would substantially increase and class sizes would decrease. Maybe even incentive programs along the lines of the government paying the kids for performance
- US would be put on a path to be completely green by 2030. This still won't be enough since all emissions could cease today, and the increased carbon would still continue to warm for a couple hundred years or so. Hopefully we would be able to create artificial trees, but even those may not work. I think that maybe capturing and sequestering carbon from the oceans may be the only actual way to beat global warming, but I don't think anybody knows how to do that
- I'm not exactly sure how to fix this, but pretty much everything would become de-privatized to an extent. Things like war and prison would be completely de-privatized, and I would probably push for some kind of publicly run company in every area of business. This would be one of the many steps in decreasing corporate power by increasing competition and equality.
- This will all be paid for by ceasing some stupid spending, raising assloads of taxes on those rich enough to own small islands, and a conglomeration of the Wall Street banks that caused the Crisis of 08 and the biggest shift of wealth in US history. They will be put on the hook for the trillions of dollars they killed. They will pay their dues for many, many years to come, it will all go straight to the public sector, and the populous would finally be treated correctly.
- Jon Stewart would be my Press Secretary. He would take a series of questions every morning, and answer them in a succinct fashion, then by the end of the day, he would answer those same exact questions in a similar fashion as he does with Daily Show. I would also never take one ounce of shit from anybody. I would regularly call people like John Boehner and Michael Steele and Glenn Beck dumbshits who fuck the American people up the ass with their lies and hate on national television.
- Also, abolish the Senate or at least the filibuster. It's called majority rule, not minority rule. And the Senate has kept the country in minority rule for a very long time. No more than 51 votes should ever be needed for anything because then all the power gets shifted into the minority like we are currently seeing. Imagine if the Senate filibuster required 99 votes instead of 60. Imagine that one lone Senator could basically dictate everything just by filibustering. Also, the Senate is highly disproportionately representative for the country. Nobody lives in Montana, but for some reason they still have two Senators, the same number that California has. Massive, massive minority rule going on here. The House is all we need on the legislative side of government.
Feel free to add or criticize or post pictures of your mom
