I can't win

I just can't seem to win anymore. Look how horrible my graph is. It's like I'd better off cashing out what's left of my bankroll and doing something else with it. What do you guys think?

This is how "good" I've done so far, and it hasn't even included the addition $140 I lost tonight. Just had another horrible suckout, I flopped 10's full of Queens, got the guy to shove his 100bb stack on turn with a naked Q, and the board pairs, giving him a bigger boat. Lost a stack right there.

When I started poker, I had hoped I'd have the hang of it 5 years in, but I can't do it. And just pisses me off that there are 23 year poker women making $100's of thousands of dollars in months in the game, and I'm stuck playing 25nl and still consistently losing.

Posting hands and stats will be more useful than graphs to turn this around!

I can't really make out the graph, but looks like you're running below expectation. That can mean you need to move down in stakes to recover both your bankroll and some confidence (by beating up fish).

The harsh truth though is that the games at all levels got a lot tougher, with breaking even after the rake now something to be applauded.

How much study do you do and what site do you play on?

I would agree that stepping down is probably wise. I would also stop looking at 23 year old women and what they are doing in poker, because when you're worried about stupid things like that, your focus isn't where it should be, which is your game. I have no idea who you're referring to, but I'd assume she's either excellent at poker, or hot and therefore getting sponsored a shit ton. I'm assuming you're not a hot female, so focus on improving, because sponsorship is probably out of the question.

You don't make any money player poker.
You don't enjoy playing poker.

Stop playing? I did.

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Originally Posted by Savy

You don't make any money player poker.
You don't enjoy playing poker.

Stop playing? I did.

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There's nowhere left for me to run at this point lol. As far as games/hobbies go, poker's going to be it for me. I spent a few years playing back and forth with chess/poker and I don't really care how much money I lose at poker or how bad I run, I just can't spend another hour shuffling plastic army men back and forth for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Nothing to gain, nothing to lose. All pride and ego. I'm 35 now - It's just not for me.

Golf - Not for me. I'm extremely athletic but I'd rather sit and play poker. I haven't played video or computer games in years because they weren't complex enough, another version of the game comes out in 12 months, and like chess - who cares? You don't gain or achieve anything for doing well in Call Of Duty. No other hobby/pastime provides the rush of adrenaline and challenge that poker does, while also offering the possibility of monetary gain. Everything else just costs money and provides you with nothing tangible in return.

^^

Kind of agree on poker > other games. The key for you will be to make sure you can handle things if you are a losing player (both in terms of still being able to pay the bills and your mindset i.e. not chasing losses).

If you're athletic, I've found signing up to running events to be a good additional/alternative hobby. I'm competitive with myself and like to try and get faster each time, plus it keeps me in decent shape and prevents me from drinking too much every single weekend.

Have to say I do struggle with other hobbies too sometimes. I'm currently on another short-term break from poker to reset my tilt mindset. I typically win about 40BI after a break in about 20k hands, only to then give back 30BI through fancy play/volume title in the next 20k hands and need to take a couple of weeks off. I think I'm driving my partner mad in the evenings without much to do, but I do feel much more alert and relaxed each morning having not played a session.

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Originally Posted by BigSlickBaby

There's nowhere left for me to run at this point lol. As far as games/hobbies go, poker's going to be it for me. I spent a few years playing back and forth with chess/poker and I don't really care how much money I lose at poker or how bad I run, I just can't spend another hour shuffling plastic army men back and forth for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Nothing to gain, nothing to lose. All pride and ego. I'm 35 now - It's just not for me.

Golf - Not for me. I'm extremely athletic but I'd rather sit and play poker. I haven't played video or computer games in years because they weren't complex enough, another version of the game comes out in 12 months, and like chess - who cares? You don't gain or achieve anything for doing well in Call Of Duty. No other hobby/pastime provides the rush of adrenaline and challenge that poker does, while also offering the possibility of monetary gain. Everything else just costs money and provides you with nothing tangible in return.

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You don't fall into the category that I said as you enjoy it.

I was a winning player (tiny stakes) and didn't enjoy playing and stopped and it was definitely the right thing to do. I rarely get the urge to play and when I do it's more to play with mates but then I realise that it would be slow, awful and annoying to play with people who don't know how poker works and then the urge goes away.

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Originally Posted by The Bean Counter

^^

Kind of agree on poker > other games. The key for you will be to make sure you can handle things if you are a losing player (both in terms of still being able to pay the bills and your mindset i.e. not chasing losses).

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I don't need the money but I could certainly use it. That said, there are other things I could (and will) be doing to make money so no...it's not like if I don't make "x" buyins this month I'm in some kind of financial jeopardy. Not at all. This helps allow me to actually just play poker at the tables and not even think about the bankroll. It's helped as when I started playing a few years ago, every lost buyin severely hurt and you know you can't play like that.

I've had good and bad sessions since I'm playing again this month but both because of more money + income, maturity, and experience, I've been handling bad plays and the occasional beat much differently than before. I also had a relationship that was quite complicated (to say the least) and a LOT of stress in my life a few years ago. These have both been alleviated greatly.

As said, I was also really committed to chess, too. I thought I was going to go that route but ...it never materialized. At my age now, I have not the slightest interest in playing another game online and I can assure you that the last thing I want to do is pack up my chess equipment, clothes, etc and travel to stay in a hotel for a 6 game tournament over the weekend. I just wouldn't do that unless I was being paid well to do it lol. A few years ago, that seemed like something I legitimately wanted to do. People change. Poker relaxes me, involves the flow of money, and has both an online and live setting that can be lucrative. It's just much more for me today.

So, as said, there's really nowhere to run at this point. A bad day or week doesn't make me even consider taking time off or quitting. I just study/play more and focus on improvement. I like having a strategy game like this in my life and I did find chess to be more visual than strategic. No chess player really disputed that once we got into the discussion. Until you're of an 1800+ rating, you're constantly scouring the board to make sure you don't make tactical mistakes. 99% of the games are decided that way. With today's faster time controls, there's very little time for strategy. It's visually tactical and unless you started playing young, tactics will always be a hardship for you. I'd rather just sit, relax, and make decisions based on my thought process. There's nothing to "not see" other than a hidden straight or set, etc. That's a far cry from searching for mate and 4's with a clock ticking. Again, at this point I'd rather drag a certain body part of mine through glass.

It's just different now and I'm also enjoying the game of poker far more as well as digging into things deeper. Trying different variants, using Power Equilab extensively, and doing a lot of reading/video study online. I analyze hands far deeper than I used to and it's mostly out of genuine interest in the hand. All good signs.

As for struggling with other hobbies: I've gradually drifted from things as I've aged. We all narrow our focus as we get older. I played three sports, two of them until 21, and I fished and traveled regularly. A lot of things happened over the years and I just became more and more involved in the new technology that's been unleashed upon us over the last 10-15 years and other than dating, as well as watching movies/music, I don't really spend much time on anything else. I'm looking to establish a little more balance this summer but I'm also looking to play a ton of poker.

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Originally Posted by Savy

You don't fall into the category that I said as you enjoy it.

I was a winning player (tiny stakes) and didn't enjoy playing and stopped and it was definitely the right thing to do. I rarely get the urge to play and when I do it's more to play with mates but then I realise that it would be slow, awful and annoying to play with people who don't know how poker works and then the urge goes away.

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When we invest time and effort (and even more in some cases) into things, then start to realize they're not for us, it's indeed difficult to finally and definitively admit that to yourself and others, allowing yourself to move on. As you said though, it's definitely for the best. There are plenty of things we all have to and will go through in life that we don't want to. When it comes to the things we have legitimate choice in, I think it's healthy and fair for people to exercise that choice.