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i like 3 streets, but it depends on the board. On paired ones, more caution is required to ensure he doesnt have the made set. It isnt likely he does, but someone who traps will just call till the river and then raise. Same with flush/straight draws, or when only one card is needed for that flush/straight and you lack that card. Its all dependent on the flop and what you think he has. In your 8-J example, id probably bet the turn just to see if he has it or if he thinks i might.
Second part, raise preflop, but dont call his raise unless you know a little more about his range. tight players, get out, loose you can get away with calling and having position.
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