Brag: I finished my PhD Dissertation on Saturday.

Beat: After killing myself writing for 12+ hours per day for the last 2 months, I can't turn into a complete degenerate because my 2nd kid is due to be born on Monday!

Variance: In 5 weeks the baby comes, I defend my thesis, I go to the CWS, and finish revisions, drive family to Maine to start my new job.