poker and women

[|~|ypermegachi]

you know what? i need a break from this big CS project i'm doing, so i'm gonna post about how poker and women are related.

now firstly tight poker is usually the proper way to play. you want to be selective in your women too. you can't just go randomly picking up on them because most of the time it won't work out. you should be selective. well you can play loose if you want. this would be equivalent to going out with many women at a time. you get to have lots of fun, but your emotional swings go up and down radically.

now, say you see AA, and you raise too big and everyone folds. this would be like trying to pick up a women by shouting your name out loud to her. most of the time she'll think you're crazy and somehow avoid you. otherwise she'll think you're a swell guy being so bold. how about AA and you raise a normal amount so you get callers? this would be like getting a really hot and attractive girl. you spend a lot of money and time on her. most of the time it'll work well, but one day a hot girl will just take all your money away and put you on tilt. notice how you are willing to spend more money on attractive women than on less attractive women? just like the cards?

now speculative hands are really good. low suited connectors and low pocket pairs. well this girl isn't model drop dead gorgeous, but she has the potential to be SO much more! especially when you flop that straight or set. there's a lot of hidden potential in these women. you could find your soul mate! but of course there's always the chance that she turns out to be a shemale on the river. notice how you want to spend as little as possible? but the rewards are ENORMOUS when you score!

but the greatest part about poker...you're in position (damn that sounds nasty in this post), and you raise with 74o on the button. and both the blinds call. you proceed to flop a boat. this would be like the school girl with the dorky glasses studying all the time, and one day you see them take them off and you're like DAMN girl!!

[jmrogers7]

now firstly tight poker is usually the proper way to play. you want to be selective in your women too.

I like my poker like I like my women! TIGHT!

[Fnord]

I like my poker like I like my women! TIGHT!

Loose and Aggressive!

[Humphrind]

I must be a ho.

I like my poker and my women to be giving me money.

[DavSimon]

Not too much preflop action....but a maniac after the flop!

[lolzzz_321]

I hate being in the Big Blind Women....

[FlyingSaucy]

you could find your soul mate! but of course there's always the chance that she turns out to be a shemale on the river.

You're right. They look pretty hot but then when its time to show...
I've gotten screwed by shemales many times.

put that in your sig and smoke it 'rilla.
In fact, I might as well just come out and say that I enjoy getting screwed by shemales.

[DaNutsInYoEye]

I like it when when I put da nuts in their eye.

[jokerindapack]

I love to flop my women on the bed, turn, em over and be wet like a river (corny I know but who cares) :P

[Radashack]

I would post a fantastic reply, however I fear for my safety as my woman could potentially read this post..

I check.

[a500lbgorilla]

*sigh* I often find myself flopping the nuts in my hand.

-'rilla

[Aceofone]

However, trying to understand poker is possible, understanding women, is not.

[a500lbgorilla]

However, trying to understand poker is possible, understanding women, is not.

You should open up your own soupian thread, then. Becuase I need some help.

"Aceofone's guide to beating women"

Maybe work on the title a little.

-'rilla

[TylerK]

However, trying to understand poker is possible, understanding women, is not.

You should open up your own soupian thread, then. Becuase I need some help.

"Tight is right in the first hour..."

[elanto]

I love to flop my women on the bed, turn, em over and be wet like a river (corny I know but who cares) :P

sick dude :P

I like my woman tight and aggresive


-anto

[Les_Worm]

Just like you commit to a good hand you need to commit to a good woman because you don't want to be left at home with the bachelors hand .......JKo

[elipsesjeff]

I like my woman tight and aggresive

If you are going up against Tag women you are going to get beat everytime. They wont call you down to the river and if they raise you better get the fuck out the way before they beat your ass. Plus, you can only go against them with the goods.

On a side note, everyone has failed to mention when you have a good hand but you get out-kicked. You do everything right: You got them check-calling their AKs against your AJo because you show aggression, then, all-of-a-sudden, when its time to show her your hand you're like:

wtf? What kind of Loopy whore are you? Next time let me know your hand so I dont get my hopes up on winning....stupid b*tch

Then you start to realize you shouldn't have cold-called the flop with AJo out of position. You knew you should have folded when no one else called the raiser. And if you had noticed she doesn't raise too many hands and she's got a huge stack...hind sight is 20-20.

[kling]

This thread had so much potential for dry sexual humor.

I'm glad it did not dissapoint! Keep 'em coming and I'll keep laughing.

[Aceofone]

You should open up your own soupian thread, then. Becuase I need some help.

"Aceofone's guide to beating women"

Maybe work on the title a little.

-'rilla

Aceofone's guide to "beating" women.

Point 1.

When a woman says nothings wrong, that means that everything is wrong.

Point 2.

When a woman says somethings wrong, that means that EVERYTHING is wrong.

Point 3.

When a woman says somethings not funny, boy, you better not be laughing your ass off.

^credit to homer simpson^

Point 4.

Don't ever buy a woman a drink to get her number, if she likes you she'll give it to you anyway (555-6789, generally means you suck, get lost).

Point 5.

Don't argue, you can't win.

Point 6

Her friends may suck, they may be ugly, they may be hot, she is allowed to comment, you are not. You must simply respond when asked: "they seem pretty cool."

Point 7

Convince her parents that your intelligent and ambitious to win them over, do not mention the time you got loaded and pissed on a government vehicle (bonus points for a cop car, super double extreme bonus points if a cop was in the car at the time).

Point 8

Get along with her pet. (slipping the little shat treats when she's not looking helps, aspirin and milk dont mix for cats).

Point 9

Don't automatically expect her to be your drinking buddy, that takes time.

Point 10

DO NOT EVER forget to call, go out, get sloshed and take a job in another city without telling her.

Point 11

Do not ever give up power in the relationship, state that power of the relationship is controlled by the best arm-wrestler/beer-drinker, if she can beat you in either of these, get out the kneepads, cuz your gonna be the bitch.

Point 12

Don't go for women without brains AND personality, it's not worth it.

Point 13

Some women look older than they may be, some look younger, when in doubt, RUN.

Point 14

If she is using long-term words on the second date, RUN.

Point 15

If she says I love you before you love her, say "I love me too" then RUN.

Point 16

If she compliments you on your manhood, respond with "dont tell me, tell your friends"

Points 17

When she calls to see what your doing and your with your buddies, don't ever say "bring some friends" remember that some are ugly and quickly add "the hot ones."

Point 18

If you ever find a woman who accepts you for who you are, the relationship can proceed to a 3rd date.

Point 19

Disregard most of the advice given.

[Molinero]

[Insert sexually charged joke or pun on the poker term 'nuts' here]


LOL!