Convince Char's wife to let him get DSL

[Warpe]

Your mission: Give Char some convincing arguments to use on his wife so she'll allow him to dump his dial-up and get DSL.

Discuss.

[Fnord]

Big pot, no disconnect protection. Nuff said.

[chardrian]

I'm forwarding this to the lady who wears the pants in the family, so make em good.

[Lukie]

*laughs and shakes his head*

[AHiltz]

oh my dear god

DSL is only $5 more per month then dial up here. How much we talkin here?

[Warpe]

"B-b-but...all the other kids have it"

[Bmxicle]

aren't you a lawyer? Shouldn't you have both the funds and argueing ability to get dsl yourself?

[Lukie]

aren't you a lawyer? Shouldn't you have both the funds and argueing ability to get dsl yourself?

If I wasn't shaking my head and laughing, I'd ask the same question rofl.............

[flomo]

you should get cable and tell her you will only use it for porn

you should convince her that she needs it
she is in med school, she will be taking step 2 and needs to study for it
online(kaplan--Qbank)

good luck

[gabe]

chard, you are making the big bucks now and you can afford one of the luxuries of life now. just do it.

[DogOnMySide]

How about "But it's the 21st century... I was always brought up to belive i'd be living on Mars with my own personal robot friend and driving a hover car by now. At least let me have broadband.... you horrible evil creature who solely exists to shackle me to a tedious existence, draining joy from my life like a vampiric harpy."

Maybe miss out the end bit.

[bluey]

dialup still exists?

[Greedo017]

DSL is 15 dollars a month forever, so long as you get 1 year contracts each time. 180 dollars a year. That is like, one buy-in. dial-up is probably 10 a month? I don't even know. This is for 100x better service. What is her reason for keeping dial-up?

[Greedo017]

if that doesn't work.

[DaNutsInYoEye]

But Char dear, you have used dial-up for how long? What were you using when you got the big cashes in those MTTs? It was dial-up, wasn't it honey? Obviously it wasn't a problem then, was it?

You want DSL? Well I don't want to cook dinner every night. It would be nice if you would rub my feet on occassion too.

I mean first it's DSL, then what next? A t1 line? Oh, you want to host lan parties too, huh? I see where this is going. The answer is "no" mister. "NO!"

[chardrian]

But Char dear, you have used dial-up for how long? What were you using when you got the big cashes in those MTTs? It was dial-up, wasn't it honey? Obviously it wasn't a problem then, was it?

You want DSL? Well I don't want to cook dinner every night. It would be nice if you would rub my feet on occassion too.

I mean first it's DSL, then what next? A t1 line? Oh, you want to host lan parties too, huh? I see where this is going. The answer is "no" mister. "NO!"

She said "my sentiments exactly."

[Xianti]

Dude, you're not supposed to show her Dnuts' post!

[chardrian]

I told u - I was gonna show her all of em.

We have somewhat of a deal. But it's doubtful to come through.

I get DSL if I also pay for new cell phones with my poker winnings.

Problem is most cell phone plans are 2 years - and we are very likely moving next year. Remember those first cordless phones from Miami Vice and Fresh Prince? Yeah, ours sorta look like those too.

[ttanaka]

Char, make a new agreement, tell her if you don't get DSL, your cousin is coming to stay for a few weeks...

[Xianti]

ROFLCOPTER LMAONADE!!11!!11!!!

And pee all over her scrubs.

[a500lbgorilla]

Tell her you'll work for it around the house. And make sure "around the house" has the tone that suggests you'll please her sexually.

[™]

You need DSL in order to download more pornography and at a faster rate.

[UG]

I will let her use my body any way she wants for 24 hours if she gets you DSL.




Problem solved.

You need DSL in order to download more pornography and at a faster rate.

Or better yet I can give you a link to my own personal XXX site and she can download me doing lots of things. Naked.


P.S. This is only for Char's wife, so don't ask for a link unless you are Char. Thanks.

[DaNutsInYoEye]

Ahhh, DSLs... What every guy wants on a woman. Errr.... DSL, from a woman.

you should get cable and tell her you will only use it for porn

you should convince her that she needs it
she is in med school, she will be taking step 2 and needs to study for it
online(kaplan--Qbank)

good luck

I'm sure her institution has a wonderful library that she can/does use.

I think you buying new cell phones is a wonderful compromise, and that's what helathy relationships are all about. Unfortunately since you are likely moving though, she might have to take an IOU and you can instead do something else for her in the mean time. Nothing like cleaning the gutters though. You should be doing things such as that all the time. I mean treat her to something like a day at the spa or make reservations for a wine dinner for her and a friend(s).

Or, if your phones really are that old, then you could just buy some new ones and have your provider program them with you current number. You don't have to sign a new contract to get new phones. You can find models that have been out for a little while for fairly cheap. They might not be the very latest, but they would still likely be a significant upgrade from what you have now. Of course, searching for them online would be a lot easier if you had DSL...

[lolzzz_321]

I told u - I was gonna show her all of em.

We have somewhat of a deal. But it's doubtful to come through.

I get DSL if I also pay for new cell phones with my poker winnings.

Problem is most cell phone plans are 2 years - and we are very likely moving next year. Remember those first cordless phones from Miami Vice and Fresh Prince? Yeah, ours sorta look like those too.

I saw Char trying to call in an airstrike today at work, wait... that's a cell phone? Looked like something out of Platoon.

[geoffm33]

We have Verizon phone service + DSL = ~$55/month. We are considering dry-loop DSL (no phone service required) for ~$20/mo. Since we use cell phones for all calls, we really don't need home phone.

You could actually save money in this deal.

[Xianti]

Since we use cell phones for all calls, we really don't need home phone.

I have cable modem for my broadband and, of course, have a cell phone. I haven't had a phone landline at home in 7 years.

[chardrian]

Char, make a new agreement, tell her if you don't get DSL, your cousin is coming to stay for a few weeks...

For those that don't know, tyson is talking about my cousin Javier in my avatar.

He seems scary, but he's really harmless - he was just in for public urination. And his mom (tia Maria) is making him put rogaine on his eyebrows to cover the tats up.

My wife likes Javi, so the threat isn't as good as it appears.

[Xianti]

I don't know too many "harmless" guys that have "fuck you" tattoos in place of eyebrows. Come to think, I don't know anyone that have tattoos in place of eyebrows.

Looks like a fun guy to party with.

[chardrian]

Well now u know two guys.

There's Javi in my avatar (and he is fun to party with).

Now meet my crazy uncle Teddy who we all try and pretend is not really a part of the family.

[jmontis]

god i wish i had dsl last night after my awesome internet goes down with 300 remaining in the 40k, and I had 2x the average stack... sob

[grnydrowave2]

Well now u know two guys.

There's Javi in my avatar (and he is fun to party with).

Now meet my crazy uncle Teddy who we all try and pretend is not really a part of the family.

[img]http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/5439/dmilam19uk.jpg[img]

Poor guy took quite a beating. Look at his nose

[bdawg56kg]

Hey chardrian, if it makes you feel any better, I still have dial-up. And a fat 15" crt monitor that can only do 1024 x 768. And I just got Poker tracker.

Damn, I need to get my ass out of the stone-age. :P

[Lukie]

Hey chardrian, if it makes you feel any better, I still have dial-up. And a fat 15" crt monitor that can only do 1024 x 768. And I just got Poker tracker.

Damn, I need to get my ass out of the stone-age. :P

I've been trying to tell you this for months now...

[eeeee]

1) My online income went up 1500% once I got broadband.

2) $Dialup plus $phonebill plus $cablebill plus $cellphone plus $time > $cable/phone/broadband plus $cellphone minus $time
or
$Dialup plus irritation > $DSL plus YouDon'tKnowWhatYouAreMissing

I pay for Internet service and get free TV as a by-product.

Suggestion -- dump money onto EPass and quietly pay for DSL/Cable with your poker earning using your Epass Visa number. Nothing else can be said after that.

[alias2211]

broadband offers:

1.) security: as fnord suggests, losing one pot to a d/c can pay for an entire year of broadband access

2.) economics: as eeeee suggests, if you currently pay for homephone service, you will definitely be able to save money by getting dsl. if your wife still wants home phone, you can get vonage for $16/mo. and probably still end up saving money on the entire equation. also w/ vonage, you can move anywhere and still have your same number and account, you just need to be able to plug in their router to a high speed connection. so you don't have to commit to two 2yr. cell phone plans if you don't want to.

since we don't know how much you're paying now, or what local rates are for dsl or cable or local phone, i can't give you an exact answer, but you can slap that together for yourself in a matter of seconds.

3.) transformative: probably the most important consideration. you'll both be able to use the resources available on the net that you haven't yet been able to do because of limitations on time spent/month (i.e. 10 hours/mo. on your dial up contract) OR because of limitations on data speed (can't download multimedia. make sure to read the pew foundation internet and american life study, it's incredible. especially check out the demographics section so you can learn more about how women are using the internet, and then you can bring up applicable areas to your wife:

http://www.pewinternet.org/PPF/r/171/report_display.asp

certainly, most women are using the internet to find information related to health, and since that is her field, there is a symbiotic relationship here that should be explored.

when it comes down to it, it's not even really a decision between broadband and dialup, the real question is between dsl and cable:

http://reviews.cnet.com/4520-6536_7-726601-1.html

i know you can do it, char.

[shysti]

Ahhh, DSLs... What every guy wants on a woman. Errr.... DSL, from a woman.

you should get cable and tell her you will only use it for porn

you should convince her that she needs it
she is in med school, she will be taking step 2 and needs to study for it
online(kaplan--Qbank)

good luck

I'm sure her institution has a wonderful library that she can/does use.

I think you buying new cell phones is a wonderful compromise, and that's what helathy relationships are all about. Unfortunately since you are likely moving though, she might have to take an IOU and you can instead do something else for her in the mean time. Nothing like cleaning the gutters though. You should be doing things such as that all the time. I mean treat her to something like a day at the spa or make reservations for a wine dinner for her and a friend(s).

Or, if your phones really are that old, then you could just buy some new ones and have your provider program them with you current number. You don't have to sign a new contract to get new phones. You can find models that have been out for a little while for fairly cheap. They might not be the very latest, but they would still likely be a significant upgrade from what you have now. Of course, searching for them online would be a lot easier if you had DSL...

Seriously what is with all this bullshiet, excuse my french! She IS the one not compromising here at all,why do you even need to make deals to get what YOU want! Be a man! FFS!

Why is she keeping a tight reign on your finances like that? It's not like your asking her to let you get a new muscle car! It's broadband!

[Warpe]

Seriously what is with all this bullshiet, excuse my french! She IS the one not compromising here at all,why do you even need to make deals to get what YOU want! Be a man! FFS!

Why is she keeping a tight reign on your finances like that? It's not like your asking her to let you get a new muscle car! It's broadband!

How's that relationship going? Still dicey?

[joshuadzl]

If the cost of DSL/cable is breaking the bank, its time to reorganize the funds, because you probably shouldn't be paying for dialup then in the first place.

Out of curiosity, does she run everything she purchases for medschool by you? She needs it for her education, you need DSL to secure your other source of income as well. Yeah, you won an MTT on dialup. She can study using the liabrary's books and pass on that too. She doesn't need her own.

Seriously though, that'd be retarded. She needs all her materials and tools to secure her education, just as you need DSL to secure your poker progress. You can half ass it, sure, but thats no good. You play at stakes which have a relative significant effect on your day to day life don't you? I think that is enough to justify an extra $40 dollars a month tops.

[shysti]

Seriously what is with all this bullshiet, excuse my french! She IS the one not compromising here at all,why do you even need to make deals to get what YOU want! Be a man! FFS!

Why is she keeping a tight reign on your finances like that? It's not like your asking her to let you get a new muscle car! It's broadband!

How's that relationship going? Still dicey?

Well she doesn't believe me that once our lease is up Im finding my own place without her.. so..

[Miffed22001]

char: If you dont do as i say woman some random british maniac is going to come round and make you swallow his pee.

No offence Mrs char, but DSL is better than that surely :P

[Sprayed]

It sounds like she doesn't use the internet as much as you do and may not understand the importance of reliability when it comes to surfing the net. What you need to do is show her the wonderful side of the internet. Let her play on the net for a while and she will see the frustration that you are having. You need to create a connection with her and the net so that she can understand. My wife didn't know anything about the net until I showed her a few things. Before she knew it, it was a must have in her life. Create the connection and you will create the need.

[chardrian]

She knows the need. One downfall of having DSL would be that she could actually do some of her work at home which would mean I would be kicked off the computer.

What it really comes down to is that having DSL is not a huge deal to me - it it was, I would get it.

I am a man of simple means.

[Warpe]

She knows the need. One downfall of having DSL would be that she could actually do some of her work at home which would mean I would be kicked off the computer.

What it really comes down to is that having DSL is not a huge deal to me - it it was, I would get it.

I am a man of simple means.

The first step in dealing with your problem is admitting you have a problem, char. Your friends are worried about you. That's why we thought an intervention was necessary.

[chardrian]

I know - my probation just got revoked cuz I stopped attending my dial-up support group.

[a500lbgorilla]

I like my suggestion to best. Women really respond to sexual innuendos.

[grnydrowave2]

Don't you play 30+3 R/As? Just one buyin is almost the cost of a month of service. If your wife is too stingy to let you spend ~$40 a month on DSL, she would flip her lid if she knew how much you've invested in poker.

Be a man. You shouldn't have to ask permission to spend your own money.

Correction: It's not even $40. That's what I pay for cable and internet combined.

[chardrian]

Don't you play 30+3 R/As? Just one buyin is almost the cost of a month of service. If your wife is too stingy to let you spend ~$40 a month on DSL, she would flip her lid if she knew how much you've invested in poker.

Be a man. You shouldn't have to ask permission to spend your own money.

She knows exactly how much I spend. Maybe I'm a puss - but I am a very happy puss.

Realtionships are all about communication and compromise. Sorry folks, DSL just aint that important to me. Obviously it would be for you guys - I'm just not going to get my panties into bunches over this. If you are that interested in my poker roll and finances take a look at my thread in the Poker Etcetera section.

I also don't consider my poker winnings to be exclsuively MY money - it's OUR money. Just as I won't consider her 6 figure salary in about 5 years to be HER money - again that will be OUR money.

[Warpe]

Sigh. We tried. But it's hard to help a man who has everything (everything that's important, that is).

[alias2211]

I also don't consider my poker winnings to be exclsuively MY money - it's OUR money. Just as I won't consider her 6 figure salary in about 5 years to be HER money - again that will be OUR money.

+++EV nhggtyvm

[grnydrowave2]

I also don't consider my poker winnings to be exclsuively MY money - it's OUR money. Just as I won't consider her 6 figure salary in about 5 years to be HER money - again that will be OUR money.

+++EV nhggtyvm

Yes, IF that turns out to be true. I wonder if he will be able to tell her that she can't buy shoes on a given weekend.

[chardrian]

I also don't consider my poker winnings to be exclsuively MY money - it's OUR money. Just as I won't consider her 6 figure salary in about 5 years to be HER money - again that will be OUR money.

+++EV nhggtyvm

Yes, IF that turns out to be true.

http://www.physicianssearch.com/physician/salary1.html

She's going into OB/GYN. I am going into early retirement.

[grnydrowave2]

http://www.physicianssearch.com/physician/salary1.html

She's going into OB/GYN. I am going into early retirement.

I meant that you may have no control over how money is spent, which seems to be the case now. But none of that really matters as long as you are happy.

Just curious.. how old are you and how long have you been married?

[chardrian]

I am 30. Have been happily married over 6 years.

[shysti]

She knows the need. One downfall of having DSL would be that she could actually do some of her work at home which would mean I would be kicked off the computer.

What it really comes down to is that having DSL is not a huge deal to me - it it was, I would get it.

I am a man of simple means.

Nah youre just whipped *shrugs* she told you to say that didnt she

rofl !

[shysti]

Edited for truth:

She knows exactly how much I spend. I'm a puss - but I am a very happy puss.

Realtionships are all about communication and compromise (she communicates to me that there is no compromise on her part and I have to agree because my balls haven't dropped. Sorry folks, DSL just aint that important to me (because she says so). Obviously it would be for you guys - I'm just not going to get my panties into bunches over this ( or else she will crush me). If you are that interested in my poker roll and finances take a look at my thread in the Poker Etcetera section.

I also don't consider my poker winnings to be exclsuively MY money(because again, she said it's her money also even though she doesn't go through the agony of trying to win these things) - it's OUR money. Just as I won't consider her 6 figure salary in about 5 years to be HER money - again that will be OUR money. Until she breaks up with me at that point and find a man with a backbone. [/quote]


haha man Im just bustin your chops

[shysti]

I also don't consider my poker winnings to be exclsuively MY money - it's OUR money. Just as I won't consider her 6 figure salary in about 5 years to be HER money - again that will be OUR money.

+++EV nhggtyvm

Yes, IF that turns out to be true. I wonder if he will be able to tell her that she can't buy shoes on a given weekend.

HA! hell no he wont be able to, that's the power of a dominate woman and a pussified man!