Random thought for the day

[JB25163]

Any show that has Mr. T teaming up with Boy George is #1 in my book.

[a500lbgorilla]

Let's see how random these thoughts can get. Only one per customer.

You know what's worse that stubbing your big toe? AIDs. Also being homeless would probably be worse.

[Lukie]

i have to go pee

[fasin8ing]

I had a dream about me laying in bed having a dream.

[Trikflow77]

I like to eat bellybutton lint, its better than sprinkles on icecream.

[Greedo017]

who came up with lifting weights. i mean, was someone like hey that shit looks heavy, i'm gonna lift it up and down a lot

[samsonite2100]

There needs to be a word in the English language that means "dying of dehydration." Like, if you go too long without food you get hungry and then starve. If you go too long without water, you get dehydrated and then what?

[gabe]

all the vending machines at my school have changed snack prices to 80 cents. its fucking bullshit because a 20oz drink costs 1.25. i used to be able to buy pepsi and candy with an even $2, not i have to break a third dollar. its retarded and i hate anyone that supports this.

38" table tennis balls are rubbish.

[sandstorm]

wonder why my bottle of absolut vodka have both "made in sweden" and "imported" written on the bottle. seems like a lot of work.

[kingnat]

So I go to take a crap yesterday... and the toilet seat is cold as hell. Like most universities the heating/cooling systems are so fucked up that one place is freezing cold while others are burning up... ah well just raise tuition to cover the costs, I guess.

So I go to take a crap today in the same (freezing cold) restroom as yesterday, and as I walk in there is a guy who is getting out of stall and the others are filled. So I go and sit on the freezing cold seat.. only it's not freezing cold... it's warm... WARMED by another MAN'S ASS....

[Rondavu]

When I was a kid there was a big dog on the train tracks sliced into three pieces. We figured he was supended in a mid air running motion above the rails when the train hit him. Either that or he chose the wrong location for a nap. We named him Triplet. We used to go down every couple of days and stab Triplets heart with a stick. Week after week Triplet decomposed. We never got sick of checking out Triplet for a half hour. Eventually we renamed him Furpile.

So I go to take a crap yesterday... and the toilet seat is cold as hell. Like most universities the heating/cooling systems are so fucked up that one place is freezing cold while others are burning up... ah well just raise tuition to cover the costs, I guess.

So I go to take a crap today in the same (freezing cold) restroom as yesterday, and as I walk in there is a guy who is getting out of stall and the others are filled. So I go and sit on the freezing cold seat.. only it's not freezing cold... it's warm... WARMED by another MAN'S ASS....

In someone else's house, when I sit on a warm toilet seat after seeing another person leave the bathroom, if that person was a man I'm not quite comfortable. But if it was a woman I feel just fine. Unless it was a really fat or old woman. Then it feels kind of creepy.

George Carlin

[a500lbgorilla]

who came up with lifting weights. i mean, was someone like hey that shit looks heavy, i'm gonna lift it up and down a lot

This reminds me of a quote i got in the year book, "Who decided drinking milk was all that great? I don't want to meet the guy who saw a wild cow and said, "Look at those utters. I'mma go suck on them and drink whatever comes out."

[a500lbgorilla]

There needs to be a word in the English language that means "dying of dehydration." Like, if you go too long without food you get hungry and then starve. If you go too long without water, you get dehydrated and then what?

Like parched + 1?

[euphoricism]

I think the word you're looking for is "shrivel".

[Demiparadigm]

If clouds were made out of marshmallows instead of water, it would make air travel slightly more complicated.

[UG]

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

[biondino]

The reason babies can't vocalise proper words etc. when they start speaking is because EVERY FUCKER SPEAKS TO THEM IN BABY TALK. "oo's a cwute ickle bubbins eh?" SPEAK PROPERLY ASSBUTT, YOU'RE RETARDING THE BABY!

[Myke]

The reason babies can't vocalise proper words etc. when they start speaking is because EVERY FUCKER SPEAKS TO THEM IN BABY TALK. "oo's a cwute ickle bubbins eh?" SPEAK PROPERLY ASSBUTT, YOU'RE RETARDING THE BABY!

Actually babies are born with the ability to speak sounds from EVERY language. From the environment around them, they start to repeat only the sounds they constantly hear and stop speaking the rest.

[Lukie]

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

There are two heros george, just like me and you.

I have a HALARIOUS belt story that all of you are just going to love. Ok so I'm working at this place called austin's (a pretty fancy steakhouse) about 3 years ago, and I had to wear black dress pants, black shoes, a black belt (obv), and a white button down shirt, but no tie since I was a busser. Well back then I used to go back and forth between my mom's and my dad's since they live about 5 miles apart from each other. Well I'm coming from my dad's and I'm running late, and I can't find one of my two f'ing black belts, since they are both at my mom's. And I'm already late. So I like down at my baseball uniform, and we had 2 different uniforms, one with a red belt and one with a black belt.

So I said F it, used my black stretchy and dirty belt from my uniform and went off to work. Honestly I thought it looked fine but I got some really weird looks from the customers. I could tell when I was on the other side of the restaurant that a couple of the servers were looking at me and laughing too. But they never liked my work ethic anyway so F em. The end.